Wo-bu-nan-guo ='(

SYLL

2004-11-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

SYLL
Originally uploaded by TorN aparT...

omg i noe i look er xin but!!
AHHHHHHHHHHH
he so cuteeeeeeeeee lehs
hahaha
k la dun look too long lata vomit.
gtg bye

bendan

2004-09-09T20:13:00.000+08:00

Bendan
I hate youu
Wo tao yan ni..
U make my life miserable.
N u noe I cant live a day without you.
No u dont.
U still dont know.
Arghh. Forget it.
Maybe I shud let u noe.
But I cant...
='(

sad

2004-09-09T11:40:00.000+08:00

Idiot. You hurt me without you knowing. Isnt this great. Everything is so darned fine to you. While you didnt know that your words have pierced right through my heart last night. "No"..... It's easy to say. The one typing it wont feel anything. But the one reading it would feel the pain. I hate to say this, but... U dont like me... And never will. Great. You shoved the hurting truth right on my face. You idiot. Why must you break my heart and take all my hopes away. In a night's time. I hate you. I wish I could. But I cant. I hate myself. For being me. For loving you. A mistake. I landed myself in the horrible state I am in now. It's all my fault. I wanna give up and get outta this nightmare. Everyday's been hell for me. All these leads to nowhere but greater depression. Ai ni hao nan.. Bu ai ni gen nan.. Friends...... Is all we can ever be? You said it. And I've been thinking over your word again and again. Everytime I think of it. My heart aches once more. Yea. Thank you so much. For reminding me that you just treat me as a friend. And that's all we can ever be. Thanks idiot. For reminding me. For waking me up. For pulling me outta my dream and bringing me back to the cruel reality. Life sucks. You made it suck, you know that my dear? =X Get out of my life please. You've been loved for so long and when would I ever get back a little of my love from ya. No. Zhilin. Wake up. Impossible. Stop living in your dillusion please. Stop yearning for the impossible. You would never understand. That the cause and reason for everything and anything is you. I'm just your friend. Yea. FRIEND. You are the last friend that I would wanna have. There'll never be a fairytale in my life. No happy ending. No prince in white. The princess that I've been dreaming for since young. No. Think I'm better off being Cinderella. Unloved. Alone. Suits me well. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!!! Doesnt sound the least convincing huh? Shall there be one day, when I ever go mad and just splurt everything out on your face. Would you feel the least touched? At least.. a little? That someone has loved you so much all this while. I hope so. I dont wish to be in love with a hearltess and numb idiot. Maybe I really am. I dont understand you. Just what are you thinking. What am I to you. Ohh. yea. Friends. Nono. I've not forgotten. It marks a wound so deep in my heat that I can never forget. Great. The helpless and dying side of me is completely revealed now. It doesnt show on the outter. But inside, you dont know what lies within. A heart. Broken. Shattered. Torn apart. Bleeding. And left to die. Not exaggerating. I mean it. Goodbye.

2004-09-09T11:34:00.000+08:00

Idiot. You hurt me without you knowing. Isnt this great. Everything is so darned fine to you. While you didnt know that your words have pierced right through my heart last night. "No"..... It's easy to say. The one typing it wont feel anything. But the one reading it would feel the pain. I hate to say this, but... U dont like me... And never will. Great. You shoved the hurting truth right on my face. You idiot. Why must you break my heart and take all my hopes away. In a night's time. I hate you. I wish I could. But I cant. I hate myself. For being me. For loving you .A mistake. I landed myself in the horrible state I am in now. It's all my fault. I wanna give up and get outta this nightmare. Everyday's been hell for me. All these leads to nowhere but greater depression. Ai ni hao nan.. Bu ai ni gen nan.. Friends...... Is all we can ever be? You said it. And I've been thinking over your word again and again. Everytime I think of it. My heart aches once more. Yea. Thank you so much. For reminding me that you just treat me as a friend. And that's all we can ever be. Thanks idiot. For reminding me. For waking me up. For pulling me outta my dream and bringing me back to the cruel reality. Life sucks. You made it suck, you know that my dear? =X Get out of my life please. You've been loved for so long and when would I ever get back a little of my love from ya. No. Zhilin. Wake up. Impossible. Stop living in your dillusion please. Stop yearning for the impossible. He would never understand. That the cause and reason for everything and anything is you. I'm just your friend. Yea. FRIEND. You are the last friend that I would wanna have. There'll never be a fairytale in my life. No happy ending. No prince in white. The princess that I've been dreaming for since young. No. Think I'm better off being Cinderella. Unloved. Alone. Suits me well. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!!! Doesnt sound the least convincing huh? Shall there be one day, when I ever go mad and just splurt everything out on your face. Would you feel the least touched? At least.. a little? That someone has loved you so much all this while. I hope so. I dont wish to be in love with a hearltess and numb idiot. Maybe I really am. I dont understand you. Just what are you thinking. What am I to you. Ohh. yea. Friends. Nono. I've not forgotten. It marks a wound so deep in my heat that I can never forget. Great. The helpless and dying side of me is completely revealed now. It doesnt show on the outter. But inside, you dont know what lies within. A heart. Broken. Shattered. Torn apart. Bleeding. And left to die. Not exaggerating. I mean it. Goodbye.

sianZz~

2004-09-07T10:50:00.000+08:00

Wheeeeeeee~
Ppl... Rememba to watch Channel U 8pm next Monday hor~~!!
Wahaha... Got FENGQI!!!
Yayyyys. Lolx.. Crazieeeeeee~

Hmmms.. Todae neva go YF... Cuz still sickk.. Hahaa..
Lata's gonna be v sian manz... Haish...
SJ n YZ ask mi go wif dem to Escape tml... Errrs...
HAHA... U all beri farnie lehh.. Whole dae wanna go Escape de... Wahaha.. Nvm.. I oso lyk~
DIAOZ... -__________-" But den hor... Errrs... Hahaa.. NVM.
Yea man.. Lata got WQYL~~ Can see Fufu!!! =)
K larx... Nothing much ler.. C ya~

='(

2004-09-06T20:58:00.000+08:00

bendan bendan bendan bendan bendan

MY BLOG IS BACK!

2004-09-05T18:25:00.000+08:00

Yea man!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~~~ YIPEEEEE!!!
My blog is BACK~!!! Oh my godd... I cant believe I did dis..
I didnt noe dat I had da capability of bringing my blog back to life again!!! I'm a GENIUS~~~
I realli regretted alot after deleting it in a rash...
Cuz I feel dat here too luv-sick n depressed le..
N I scared he will read.. N find out.. Haish...
Dun care le larx.. I shall not do such stoopid tings anymore.. Realli pained mi to delete dis blog lor.. But NVM.. It's BACK!! But mi already created new one le lehh.. Nvm.. I shall blog on both! Cool rite?? Hahaa.. BHB~ Muz rememba to go both n read hor..
Da other one is http://dun-hurt-mi.blogspot.com.. Heex..
YEA~~~~~~~ Sho happie.. I tot dat all my 107 posts wud be juz GONE liddat... N all my memories for da past 3 mths.. N all my hard work n effort.. ='(
Dat was a stoopid mistake.. Haish..
Aniwae ppl.. rememba to link mi da other blog oso k.. Hahaa.. Thanx~~
Feels good to see my most precious n darling bloggY baq!!!
Treasure it even more now mann.. Hahaa.. =) =)
Frm dis.. dere's an important lesson to learn..
And dat is..
We would only learn to treasure the things, after we have lost them..
Yeppz.. It goes da same for bendan.. Muz u wait till da day I gif up before u can learn to understand?
Mmmm.. Since its such a happie occasion.. shall not tok bout him le bahx..
kkz~ Wud update again lata if dere's anyting k.. Bye~~~ *SmiLeXxX*

yida shuai

2004-09-05T09:44:00.000+08:00

yida shuai
Originally uploaded by TorN aparT...

Wahahaha.. My Dada sho0o0o0 SHUAI nehx!! Lolx.. Though he look litlle bit lyk yanzi.. But he beri man ohh.. Hehhx.. I tink he look lyk Liyang oso lehhx... Wah.. Heex. YiDA rAwKz~

Sorrie ar..

2004-09-04T11:10:00.000+08:00

Yea~ Compre test over liao.. All tests r over for NOW.. But End of yr exam cumin leRx.. Haish.. StreSs.. StrEsS ar~ Aiyo0z... Mi blog got litlle proB.. Haha.. AP sia..
Now sho sianZ.. No one online.. Hmmm.. Lata at nite goin baq to skooL for All Saints Church tingie.. Yea dose free can go see see hoRx.. N learn more abt god kkies! =) Shud be end at abt 9 plus bahx.. Sho late mi one person go home... Hui pa pa de.. Skool dat area sho dark.. Eeeeekz. =S
Last nite.... Ummm.. Pardon mi... Haish.. Tink u shud be xi guan le bahx.. Mi alwaez xing qing bu hao deRx.. How to be happie neHx...?
Tink wad happen last nite mi dun sae le bahx... Keep to myself can le.. Decided not to blog dose kinda tings liaoz.. Lata too obvious I die. =X

Btw... Sorrie korr n tm bout last nite... Bao qian ohh..
Now mi got phoebia of MCQ lerX... =XxX Lolz....

Dis z hor.. farnie sia.. Ehhh.. Dun understand wad he tokin abt sia.. Nvm.. Dun caRe lar.. Lolx..
Hahaa.. Last nite xing qing hen zao gao.. Den go call SJ n Jun tok.. We use Jun's fone to conference marx.. Hehhx.. Den tok sho much crap.. After luffing out feel betta le bahx.. But da thought of u-noe-hu makes my mood sho horrible again..

Hmmmmm... nothin much happened sho far.. Shall update again lata bahx.. C yaa~

bendan.. ='(

2004-09-03T22:57:00.000+08:00

Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Dunno
wad
am
i
doing
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I've got nothing to say.
Y my mood suddenly change so much
Y am I doing this.
I suck.
I mean it.
Cried.
After controlling for so long.
R u happy dat U've ruined my day again?
I've tried to be strong. I did try.

Yes. Something happened just now.
But never mind. It's not important.
Need not care bout me.

I hate the way things are.
U dont understand. And you wont.
And seowjin..
U made mi cry..
I just now already fan over other tings le..
Now u cum tok bout wo men jiu yao fen kai le..
First tym I cry until liddat u noe..
Last time is onli drop a few tears..
But now..
I cant control
The tears just kept falling.
Wo hao she bu de..
Zhen de..
Argh. Terrible.

N u dun understand.
I'm not talking not bcos I'm busy or wad.
Haiz. Forget it.
U never seem to understand me.
And u dont need to.

Ok.. Feel much betta after tokin to Sj n Jun on da fone.. Hehhx.. Laughed out all my tears..
But I still feel terrible.. Over bendan...
Haish.. Da same story goes on and on.. U neva seem to realise it.. N alwaez fail to understand..
I cant tell u anyting. N I dun wanna tell u anyting. Bcos I CANT.

Feel horrible ignoring u.. Though I may juz appear to be fine to u.. But do u tink dat I realli am? U dun take da initiative to find out da reason behind my quietness..
Cant u juz appear to be a little more concerned?
U dunno how much struggling dere is whithin mi..
No one wud understand wad I'm goin thru. if onli words cud express how I feel..

Sorrie. I broke my promise. N made dis turn out to be another depressing entry..
But after all, dis is my blog.. N its supposed to reflect how I feel.. my life.. my thoughts..
So I'm sorry if u dun lyk to read such entries.. But wad can I do? Its my life..
Not in the mood to tok anymore. Todae turned out to be another horrible day after all. N da reason still remains unchanged.. Yes.. Still him.

Well, I shan't rant out how I feel, and da depression dat I'm goin thru anymore.
U're spared.
Now, I hafta go to slp in regrets. N hate myself.
I shud be hating u.. That's da way tings r supposed to be.. Isnt it so?
I dont know. I'm not in the mood to think anymore either.
U're gone.
Another wasted day. Ended off with hatred for myself.
Goodnight to the idiot, who made mi hate myself n live in regrets.
Yes, you...
You know, I'm tired too. More tired than you are. Tired of everything.
Goodbye.

Dun wanna part..

2004-09-03T15:36:00.000+08:00

Haish.. Dis entry is dedicated to my most BELOVED classmates..
Esp Seowjin, Jun & Yunzhi... So if u guyz r readin dis now.. GREAT!!!
Goin to end of yr le.. Tym passes sho fast..
After dis yr, we r all goin to go seperate ways.. IF we dun manage to get into da same class.. Plus, we all may be choosin different combinations.. N our results all different.. Haish.. Mi sho ben.. But nvm.. I will jiayou de!! Wei le ni men.. Wo zui hao de peng you.. I type dis entry realli feel lyk cryin man.. I hate to part wif u all, wif 2F.. Even though 2F may sark at tyms.. But I can see dat 2F haf changed for da betta dis yr.. N I'm happie to see dat..
I can understand.. How those sec 2s feel when dey had to part wif each other at da end of da yr.. I noe.. I dun wanna experience da kinda pain in seperating wif frenz dat u love so much..

Seowjin...... Zui. hao. de. peng. you. Since last yr until now... Zui she bu de De jiu shi ni le.. Zhi you ni cai neng liao jie wo...

Yunzhi....... Though u juz joined our class dis yr.. But we haf been frenz since last yr le... Wud miss da lame tymz we had together..

Jun............. Lame partner.. Da four of us get together alwaez laugh non-stop de.. Shui dou bu ke yi shao..

Nvm.. Dun tok abt zhe xie shang xin de shi le..

Wahahaa.. Wan Quan Yu Le rawkz mann!!! Shoooooooooo farnie.. Got pan wei bo.. Ta bian shuai le!! Weibo's new album WUHA Chao bang de!! Muz go buY ar!! Den Renfu rap v v nice!! N kan de chu ta bian shou le.. Hahhx.. Awei singing skills oso improve le!! Sho happie for my dar dar men ohh~ wahahax..Weibo's new songz realli v nice lehh!! N renfu.. sho laMe~ Ahhh. Shou bu liao.. Fufu's shoooooo CUTE!! Juz now last part got Yida lehh.. Gosh... SHUAI!!! Ok great.. Mi gettin sho hua-chi leRx.. ahha.. Nxt wk can watch WQYL for da whole wk le.. I suppose? If neva go out bahx.. Hehhx.. SianZzZ~ WQYL end leRx.. =X Still waitin.

Head pain..

2004-09-03T14:08:00.000+08:00

Great.. I knew dis wud happen.. Mi com bu zheng qi.. Ate up my entry again!!! Ahhhh. Fine. Nvm. Type again lo.. Eeeee. Cannot be pek chekk...Dis entry's gonna be long.. Paisehh..But dun worrie.. Its not wad u dun wish to see.. Hehhx..

Arghh... My head very pain.. Not bcuz of sickk or medicine.. But bcuz... Juz now hor.. At skool da tym, Jun ask mi go staircase dere.. Den I go underneath dere see da newspaper.. After dat without tinking, I juz stand up.. and... *AWWWWWW* I knocked my head...!!! Forgot dat dere was sumting on top.. Den KonG my head beri beri pain lo.. Mi screammm.. Den realised got a few seniors lookin.. Sho paiseh.. So I REN... Den goNg gong de go canteen..
On da way, got one 1H guy ask mi " U got go S.S.S mar?" Wahh.. Yi jian mian jiu wen zhe zhong wen ti.. Farnie sia.. Hahaa.. Plus, Wo gen ni hen shou ma? Juz tok for once onli lo.. Hehhx.. 1H de ppl realli v cute n nice to get along wif laRsh.. Hah.. Bcuz of one ying yong wen bk den bcum frenz leRx.. =P

Mmmm.. Den mi go canteen wif jun n sj lo... Yea.. -Happie- Hehhx.. Dun ask y ar.. ShHhHh~After dat you dian she bu de.... =X
Den go piano dere see carrot plae piano.. LOL.. carrot? Wahahh.. Den dat keng guan.. Tell him my head v pain le he still cum HIT~ Diaoz.. Nearly fainted sia.. Realli v pain lo.. Before dat already v pain liao.. Den juz now so sway knock so hard against da staircase.. Den still kenna hit twice by keng guan.. Poor head. Poor me.. Tink da impact juz now on my head too strong le bahx.. Haiz.. Nvm.. Shud be fine.

Oh yar~ Da compo test.. Was quite ok la.. Took a long tym chossing da topic.. Was clue-less. Tinking abt other tings.. BiShh.. Den wrote crap lo.. Hahhx.. Hope wun get too low bahx,, Den I see everyone lyk sho restless liddat.. Den drop my water bottle.. *POM* Wake everyone up.. Wahah.. Den da whole class lyk staring at mi lo.. Wahah.. Muz thank mi lehh.. Make u all na me you jing shen le!! =P

Dunno y I finished sho earlie.. Look arnd, saw everyone still doin lo..Hmmm.. Den heard da hall dere got one voice sae dunno got how mani mins left.. Den mi pray for...... Ahem......
Yarx.. After dat got baq results slip le.. Mrs Koh gave mi last.. Cuz she wanna tok to mi.. Yea.. I noe.. I did v badly.. N I noe wad she wanna tell mi.. I noe I noe.. Haiz.. My results realli made mi do lotsa self reflection lo.. N I feel dat I shud not neglect mi studies bcuz of him anymorz.. Haish.. Fu chu le zhe me duo que shen me hui ying dou mei you.. Okies.. Dun wanna go on bout him.. Lata sadd again.. Yepp. Gonna try to catch up on my studies durin da 1 wk holz le.. Dis 9 mths duno do wad de lo.. Hopeless sia... I noe my studies realli very zao gao now.. Pains mi to see dis kinda results too.. Dey tink dat I cant be bothered or I ben.. But datz not da case.. U all juz dun understand.. Mrs Koh tinks dat it's bcuz I go out too much le.. Datz y results bcum liddat.. Puhlease lo.. I everydae after skool go STRAIGHT home lehh.. Ya.. But go home... online.. =Xx AiyaRsh.. Terrible me.

Okies.. half an hr more to WQYL~~ Yea manz.. Cant wait to seee renfu!! Now no one online.. no one simply means him larx.. =S Tml got compre test.. Muz slp earlie tonite.. Bu ke yi wei le ta er hu lue xue ye le.. Yarx.. Too stoopid in da past.. Wo ming bai le..

Staring at my result slip now.. Realli got da temptation to tear it manz.. Hahh.. Time to do sum self reflection again..

D&T.. I din pass up da stoopid design folio.. N it makes up a big percentage of da marks lo.. So mi onli got 36.. LAN..

Geog.. I din pass up Wislearn.. Haish.. Den 40 marks gone.. So I onli got 40... LAN.
.
H.Chinese.. I din pass up lotsa zuo wen n all dat.. Den pull my average down alot.. So I onli got 61..

History.. Dun tok abt it liao.. I fell aslep during da test.. Cuz da previous nite wei la sum idiot slp late late lo.. As usual larx.. Haish. Den got 30 onli.. LAN!

Science hor.. I din ting ke in class de larx.. Den last min pia oso cant understand de.. So in da end got a miserable 36.4.. LAN!

Art.. I din pass up alot of art pieces.. But dunno y.. Still got 69??

Dotx..MATHS... Juz cant figure it out.. guess how much I got?? 90 lehh.. SIAOZ... -faintz-

Ok.. U've seen da WORSE results eva, yea? Muz haf made u vomit blood... Paiseh..
Go on n luff at mi.. I noe.. I suck as much as my results.. = (
Dunno how m I gonna show my parents dis kinda TERRIFIC results mann.. Not dat dey wud scold mi or wad.. I juz cant bear to see their disappointed faces.. Wei shen me wo zhe me bu dong shi de.. Haish.. Dui bu qi... babaa.. mamaa.....
Dis yr streaming.. HOW?? Wif dis kinda results ar.. wan dan le.. Nvm.. No point regretting now.. Wad's done is done. Shall start workin frm now.. Datz more practical bahx.. Yepp..

OMG.. Juz now read newspaper.. Den saw toro news.. Sae he n fiona xie zai yi qi?!! Gosh.. -hartbroken- I knew it de lor.. Yi qi pai xi surely will cha chu huo hua de.. Sumore her shen cai so la.. Toro's type lo.. Haiz.. Nvm.. He got his freedom to lyk hueva he wan.. But fufu.. bu ke yi.. ='(

Hmm.. Datz all le bahx.. Will update again lata if got anyting kkies.. Tryin to make todae's entry more in content n lesser in depressing FACTS.. facts okie.. Haish.. Hope everyone wud enjoy da sept holz bah.. I noe I wun.. It'll be hell for mi deRx.. Argh..
Mi dun wanna take medicine.. Eat le will drowsy drowsy de.. Bu yao!! Last mornin n nite oso din eat.. Wahh.. Todae mornin n afternoon oso neva.. Wahh.. mi sho huai ohh... But da medicine realli taste quite er xin de marx.. Hmpf.. Jiu ming ah.. Hahaax..
Ehh... kor horx... Hahaa.. NVM.. Dun remind him.. Lata mi die neHx...
Yuppz.. So.. Jiayo0o0o0u for test tml! God bless.. C ya~

~*~ MiSs Ya ~*~

OH MY GOD!!

2004-09-02T22:25:00.000+08:00

RENFU N JIQING
Originally uploaded by TorN aparT...

OH MY GODDDDDD!!!!! -faintz-

Did u hear dat? Da *PIANG*..

Yes, it's my hart.. Shattered le.. Look at dat pic!! Omg.. I dun wan see le.. Xin dou sui le.. Zen me ke yi.. My Fufu.. Gen bie de nu ren jie wen?!! Wo zen me ban arh... DOTX... crapp.. But I realli very sad lo.. WHYYY??!! Renfu n JiQing.. Xin tong si leRx... Haish.. Renfu shud be marryin Ji meimei sooN le bahx.. Gawd.. When dat dae cums.. Where wud I be...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~ Tian ah!! -blacks out-
Haish... Feel much betta le bahx.. After chatiing wif kor n JL.. haha.. Skool seems stressful for everyone huh.. Yea man.. I totally agree!! Everyone Jiayou den! Use da sept holz to buck up kkies!! Mi too~
Wahh.. korr arh.. tyco.. hahaa.. Dun anyhow make assumptions larsh.. *BisH* =PpPp

Haish.. Datz all le bahx.. God bless for tml's compo exam.. Bless me.. *him*.. EvErYoNe~ Hehhx.. Hope tml will be a betta dae.. Dun wanna be sad over him anymorz.. Mmm.. Realised dat dis is da 3rd entry for todae le.. Whoas~ Paisehh arh.. Mi addicted to mY bloggeY~ =)

Yeppp.. Go slp le.. Dun wan look at dis hart-breakin pic liao!! Lata kuu.. ='(

Nan gu0...

2004-09-02T20:21:00.000+08:00

Haish.. I'm baq.. Feel sho sad..
Hao xiang ku.. But I wun. Hafta be strong n not cry over stoopid tings anymore..
I juz hate myself sho much.. Words cant express how I'm feelin now..
I dunno why I've been doin things against my will..
N I dont know why I am always thinking of him.
I'm already controlling myself.
Not to think of him so much.
Not to sms him.
Not to tok to him so much on msn.
I dont know why I am doing all these for.
Doesnt make sense. Totally contradicting.
Feels as though I am drifting further and further away from him.
Maybe I wasnt even close to him in the first place.
We've been talking much lesser nowadays and I miss the good old days.
Maybe he's got tired of me or its just that he simply cant be bothered to tok to me.
Or perhaps, we've run out of things to tok abt.
Never mind. I shall initiate. I shall talk. I'm always the one.
There's something that I cant understand.
Why is it that I always miss you like crazie and when U finally appear, I feel sad?
There's this strange feeling that builds up within me. And I cant find the answer to it as well.
I hate the way things are now.
I never liked the way it is anyway.
Maybe at times. But definitely not now.
Though I feel sad most of the time, I dont want to let him know.
Because he is the reason to my depression and all my love-sick nicks.
I know I've been appearing to be a love-sick freak that is in love with a bendan nowadays.
But I'm already trying my best to control my feelings..
But its hard though.
Argh. There's just so much that is bottled up within me but I cant say....
Fine.
Everything shall be normal.
I'm ok.
I'll go on my life.
But u hafta noe dat I cant hold on any longer.
U dont know that you are the one.
And I would never let you know.
Sad. Not the first time anyway. Always over the same stupid things. Who cares.
Sorry for another depressing entry that u may have gotten tired of reading.
Goodbye. ='(

~ I hate the feeling of being nothing to you.
How I wish that...... Never mind. No point saying. Cos it'll neva cum true~

Miss him

2004-09-02T18:12:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I'm so so sooooooo angri ok... Type dis entry for sho long n now its GONE!!! Arghhh~~
Fine fine. Dis is not da first tym aniwae. XI GUAN JIU HAO! =/
Aniwaez.. Dis is my 100th post le!! Yea.. sho fast worr.. Hahaa.. 3 cheers n 3 cheers n 3 cheers for zhilin! Haiz.. Diao.. No mood. Forget bout it.
Juz now in sch v sick.. tou hen tong.. Haiz.. Plus whole dae oso neva see him.. Make mi feel worse.. =/

One dae neva see him jiu zhe yang le.. Cannot imagine how am I gonna survive through da septemba holz man.. 1 week lehh!! -faintz- Will die deRx....
Haiz... Nowadaez. I dun even noe y i do da tings i do...
My action n thoughts r totally contradicting lo..
I can wait for him for da whole dae.. N when he finally cums.. I dun realli tok.. but I realli wanna tok to him.. Den mood juz suddenly bcum v zao gao.. depression..
.
Last nite.. Oso dunno y.. Juz went offline liddat.. Without sayin aniting.. To anyone..
Went to slp wif regrets lo.. But mi muz learn to control.. Next dae got test marx.. Bu ke yi wei le ta er zhe yan xia qu le.. Y m I doin all dis for sumone hu wun appreciate mi at all.. After all, he doesnt noe too... Aiyeeeeeeeee. Dun wanna make dis turn into another depressing entry le larx!

Wo tao yan ta!!!
Ok. I slapped myself for dat statement.
Change da topic.

RESULTS.. !! Da killer tingie dat I hate to mention bout.. Yeppz. Got baq result slip le..
Sarkz... Kinda expected dis kinda results le.. Whole dae xin bu zai yan n juz care bout cumin online n sum idiot.. Haishh.. Sho angry wif myself lo!
Muz buck up le larx.. Todae brought baq ALL my bkz n xia ding jue xin muz jiayou durin da holz le.. Cant bear to see da disappointment of my parents face anymorz.. N I'm doin unjust to myself.. cuz dis aint da kinda results I'm supposed to get.. Hahhx. Crapp.

Sheeeeeeeeeet. Kuziin wanna use com liao!!
HOW HOW HOW~~??!!!
Cant go off now!!!!
Awwwwwwwwww! Kill me~~ NO! KILL HIM~~
Nvm.. I shall leave..
Since you wo mei wo oso doesnt make a difference to him..
I'm not needed aniwae.. ='(
Yar.. Go le.. Though v she bu de.. I've made up mi mind.. Bye.

Wan Quan Yu Le..

2004-09-01T19:50:00.000+08:00

wanyu_layout
Originally uploaded by TorN aparT...

Haish... Todae sho sianZzZ... He not here.. ='(
Wan Quan Yu Le RAWKZ to da coRe man!! Hahaa.. Renfu n Awei sho cute! Den v farnie.. Got one gurl abit siao siao de over dere.. Den when she sang da tym renfu go bang his head against da pole.. Hahaa.. Den Shanwei lyk sho tong ku liddat.. LOL.. WQYL Yijibang!!! Wahaha.. Cyndi got new show le.. V nice.. she sho pwetty.. Mmm.. Den renfu still as cute as eva.. Miss him soOoOoO much man!! Argh~ Da medicine ish making mi drowsy le.. Tink I go rest for awhile bahx.. Since dere's no meaning stayin futheron.. hehhx.. Mi nowadaez qing xu very bu wen ding.. Mood change beri fast.. Haiz.. Alwaez bcuz of da same reason la.. Dun wan sae le..
OH MY... OH MY GODDDDDDD!!!! Todae is WEDNESDAY arhx??!! Sheeeeeeeeeet. Tml History COMMON TEST!! Mi haven study yet... AHHHHHH!! Now sho drowsy.. how to studiee!!! Die! Die! DIE!! Gosh.. I neva ting ke de lo.. Noe NOTHING lehh.. Haiz.. Try to read thru lata bahx.. Fan si le.. Y tml muz haf test.. Cant afford to do badly for another test le larx.. Getting baq results slip le.. Haish.. Lucky part of it is source-base.. Not dat bad larsh..

**After**

Juz now after take medicine v drowsy.. Den go slp.. Hahaa.. After woke up tried to read a little of Hist lo.. Tml betta not take medicine in da morning.. if not test die liao la.. Surely ZzZzz de lorx! Kekex.. Eeeee.. Man nao zi dou shi ta.. Cant get anyting in my brain at all lo~ Zao gao...

Todae sho miseRable.. Neva see him at all.. Dying le laRx.. *Sadx* Mi goin to sch tml no matter how sick I am! 1 dae neva see him le.. Hao xiang ta.. Argh. Crapp.

Todae blog sho much sia.. Hahhx. BoLiAo marx... See I luv mi blog sho much.. Wahaz. Btw, every1 jiayouZ for test tml kkies!!

Lastly, Mi wanna wish da whole wurld de teacher a verY HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!! *MuacKkX* Esp to all 2F de teachers.. Xing ku ni men le ohh~ =) Gonna change blog songz soon.. Shud I? Stop here bahx.. bye...

S t i l l W a i t i n g

-I miss you so. Y did u haf to go. Wo xu yao ni...-

xiang ni

2004-09-01T03:05:00.000+08:00

Great... Cuo guo le ta la!!
Stoopid.... Knew dat he wud cum de lo..But refused to believe in my sixth sense..
In da end.. I'm left here to regret.
Fine fine. We r juz not fated. Datz da onli conclusion dat I can cum up wif bahx.
Lyk wad zt has said, 9 out of 10 entries r depressing entries abt him..
I'm sorrie. Once again. Realli very sorry.
Ppl haf been askin mi to go tell him. Ni men ren wei you zhe me rong yi ma..
Besides, even if I told him le, He may juz sae " thank you" or "Oh" dis kinda spastic comments dat ain't wad I wanna hear.
Isnt is sho good to chat n be lyk normal frenz now?
After he noes.. tings wud be so gang ga. N I dunno how to face him anymorz.
Let fate decide everyting bahx. Hu noes, I may juz go mad one dae n splurt everyting out.
N after dat, U wun see mi online anymorz.
U wun see mi passing by dat block anymore either.
SR ask mi go her cell lata at tamp.. I wanna go. But I'm still sick. Now got cough oso le.Haiz. 4th day le.
I hafta get all da bendan-ism outta mi... It's killin mi. As well as da innocent victims hu haf been readin my blog.. =X
Okok.. I muz ren. Dun tok abt him le. Tok abt yesterdae bahx. Actuallie wanted to update abt teacher's day de.. But after dat got no mood..
Mmm.. Yesterdae ahs celeb was quite kool la.. Den da 2J guyz sitting behind very.. Hahaa.. Jiong Rui dey all lo.. As usual.. dey were da centre of attention worr. Den dey boliao lo.. For da 7th tym, dey ask mi if I was clement's sista.. PUHLEASE lo~ Frm last yr ask until now sia.. I where got look lyk him hao bu hao.. Insult to my pooR mamaAa~ EeeeekZ. -____________-"
Den dey go ask y my ponytail so thin de. Wah.. lame qn sia.. How I noe ritex..Hahaa.. Ya, But I oso hafta agree dat it's over-thin leRx..
After concert end saw *him*. Den dun dare walk dere lo.. Siam to other place.. -.-
Went wif Cindy dey all go baq taonan.. Din noe Yongquan and... Err.. Wads his name ah?? Wait, I noe de! Argh...YES!! JUNXIAN~~~ Yar.. din noe dey frm taonan too lehh! Wahaha.. Mi sho smart sia.. Hahas. No la.. Actuallie is go check con de..
Yeppz.. Den go baq saw lotsa old frenz n teachers!! Hehhx.. everyone changed sho much le.. Hahhx. Primary skool life simply rakwz man.. sho carefree n realxing.. Not lyk now.. whole dae got sho mani tings dat trouble our minds de..
Went to da marine parade lib after dat.. Cindy arhx.. pulled mi to stay in da lib wif her.. Den I had to sacrifice my WQYL!!! *sobx*.. Already 2 mths plus neva watch le lo.. Miss Fufu n awei sho much!! Nvm. Todae FINALLY can watch le.
Haiz.. she is askin mi to gif up again.. I noe dat u r tryin to tell mi dat he wun lyk mi de.. But do u noe dat hearing dis kinda ting is v disheartening... I noe dat u r readin dis now.. I'm not tryin to scold u or anyting..Thanx for ur advice aniwae. = (
No mood to blog on le.. Haish...Datz all ba...Dun feel lyk stayin onlinele. -nibuzai-
C ya tml den... Go see docter le.. FINALLY.. after being sho stubborn for soo mani daez.. Yepp. C ya.

** After **

Baq frm docta.. Haiz.. Sho mani medicine to take now.. All will cause drowsiness de.. =XxX Now watchin WQYL!! Everyting change le lo!! Realised dat I realli missed out ALOT.. So sad.. Renfu looks soooo Kool wif his extensions.. Hahaa..Miss renfu sho much!! Dar dar.. Fridae can watch again le.. Cuz sch end earlie! YAYY~
Saw my taggY.. Haish, everyone's askin mi to tell him.. Dan wo bu xing.. Haish..
He's still not here... Head v pain le lar.. Dunno how long more can I hold for.. Go watch WQYL le! BYEEE~

hate you..

2004-08-31T18:57:00.000+08:00

I'm sooooooo damn sick todae.
3 daez le. Todae is da worst one. But hu cares.
Mom wants to bring mi to da doctor, but.. I dun wan.
Why? Stoopid qn.. alwaez cum wif stoopid answers...
Bcuz I wanna cum online.
He doesnt care abt mi.. My head hurts so much n I realli needa rest..
But I still held on bcuz of him.
Idiot. I hate you. U dun gif a damn abt mi.
Bendan bendan BENDAN!!!
I dun feel lyk tokin to u now. Nor to anyone else.
Tink da fever has damaged part of my brain le bahx...
I feel lyk juz telling u straight in da face dat I realli lyk u alot n neva appear in front of u again... No, I cant.
Dun force urself to tok to mi.
I dun wan to be ur burden.
Here I am. Gonna die anytym of da pain Im feelin.
But u r still stuck on my mind.
I'm tired of hiding my feelings anymore. But I cant let u noe.
At dis point of tym, I wonder. I realli wonder. A very spastik qn though..
If I died tomorrow, would u shed a tear for mi? Wud it even pain u to see mi leave?
No.. cuz I'm nothing. Wo shen me dou bu shi.
My body is so hot. I could feel the heat burning frm inside mi. Wo xu yao ni.
I could die if this continues on. Thinking of you everyday.. And treating you more important den my own health n life..
Ni gen ben dou bu zhi dao na ge ren shi ni.....
Jiu suan zhi dao le, na you zen me yang...
I'm tired of repeating all these again n again.
N I noe dat u r oso tired of reading dis kinda depressing entries again n again.
I'm sorrie.
Stoopid mi came online juz to tok to u. N now I'm ignoring u. I dunno wad I'm doing.
Everyting is sho contradicting yea.
U may tink dat I'm still young and dont know wad is love.
Maybe... Perhaps I agree.
But all I noe is dat, I realli lyk him.
Argh. ENOUGH. enough. ENOUGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I shall tok to u.. I'm dying of depriving myself.
I dunno wad to do. Hopelessly incurable. Datz da present mi.

cut hair le..

2004-08-30T17:50:00.000+08:00

HaloXxX~ Juz now went to cut haiR.. Hahaa.. Fufu lyk gurls wif "liu hai"... Mmmm.. Is mine counted?? First tym got dis kinda hairstyle lehh.. You dia bu xi guan~ Dan wei le ta.... Wahaha.. I noe I'm mad. =X
HmMmMmZ... When tie da tym quite messy larsh.. Needa use hairband.. Hehhx.. Mei you lian jian ren leRx... -_____-"
Tml still muz go baq TaoNan visit teachers.. Yayys~ Sho long neva see primary skooL classmates n teachers liaoz... Hahaa..
*Sniff sniff* Mi still got flu.. But feelin betta leR larsh.. I guess.. Though da flu is killin mi.. Haha.. At first morning when wake up still feel quite terrible de.. But during assembly saw *him*... He sho outstanding de...Or rather, my eyes ish v sharp? Hahaz.. Juz scan thru jiu kan dao ta le... HAHA~~ Make mi got sho much eNeRgY lerX!! LOL.. Hua-chi nia mi...
Haish... mi sickk but didnt receive any msg frm him dis morning... Cant be bothered wif mi at all bahx... Hmpf.. = ( Dun dare tell family dat I sick.. Lata dey surely da jing xiao guai den mi cant go skool le.. Will die lehh.. Hahaa.. Not bcuz I wud miss lessons.. (Do I look lyk a nerd?) But bcuz... Hahaa.. Nvm nvm...
Suffering without medicine..!! Haish. Already used up 2 boxes n 3 packets of tissue paper leRx.. More trees hafta be chopped down bcuz of mi liaoz! Sorwie~ Ermx... Tissue paper is made frm trees ryt?? I dunno lehh.. But I noe paper is.. Tissue paper marx.. Got paper~ Haha.. Crapp.
Still went to skool though I'm supposed to stay at home to rest de.. Hahhx.. He's my medicine.. Kan dao ta jiu hui hao le! -BLeAgHx- Enuf of bd lerx.. lolz...
Wahh.. everytym go find GY da tym muz ti xing diao dan de... Dun dare to walk past certain class *AHEM*.. lolx... Stoopid larx mi.. Lyk as if he wud look out to see mi lo.. Haish.. Nxt tym walk by da other way to go to her class larx... Sho xing ku... =XxX
Haiz... My hair...!! Tink I look weird? Hahaa.. Juz dun vomit when u see mi tml lo... Betta go buy insurance first bahx... =P
Mmm.. betta keep mi entries short.. Cuz everytym ppl see le den dun feel lyk readin liao.. Shooo long, yea? Hahaa.. paiseh lo.
Haish... SianzzZzZzz~ *Nibuzai*... K larsh.. Go replenish tissue paper stock leRx.. Hate being sickk man.. God bless mi zao ri kang fu bahx! Lolx.. kk.. Byeee~
~*~ Yu jian ni.. zhi hou ai shang ni... ran hou hen tou ni~*~

sick...argh..

2004-08-29T18:01:00.000+08:00

My gosh.. I'm sick.
I cant even type properly now.. Tou hen tong..
Running nose...Soar throat.. Shen ti re re de... Do I haf a fever?
Wait wait.. I go take thermometer n measure first bah..
Wahh.. Nearly fell down when I got off da chair.. Cant even walk properly.
AHHHHHHHHHHH.
Feel real horrible man.. So long neva so sick le.
Ni bu zai..... I'm waiting.
Miss him sho much...........
Shud I go to school tml? Realli wanna stay at home n rest.
Hope I'll feel betta tml. Even if I dun, I guess I wud still go to skool de.
Cuz I'd die without seeing him for a dae.
Wud feel worse at home.
Ahhh. Cant type le.
Everyting seems to be spinning around me.
You are never there for me when I need you.
But I would always be there for you when you needed someone.
Not me though.
Cant hold on anymore. Bye.
-dying-

Ai ni..Yida..

2004-08-29T01:46:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
Ok. Wait. Dere's sooooo mani tings dat I wanna sae... Where shud I start frm...
Shou bu liao le!!!
Sorrie if dis entry is exceptionally long.. =P

Tell me you are not lying
Oh my god. Bring me back to reality.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm going MADDDDD~~
Ok. Ok. Na ge ohh... bu neng shou la.. =P
Shi zhen de ma... wo bu gan xiang xing yeh...

Yesterdae went for Yida's event at hardrock dere.. AHHHHHH~~ ONE YEAR NEVA SEE HIM LE!!! He looks more mature now.. Probably bcuz he juz passed his bdae a few daez ago bahx.. All my darx bdae on August lehh.. Haha.. Yida, renfu, fengqi, shanwei, weibo... WAHAHA~~ Yesterdae is RENFU's bdae & 5566 Taiwan concert!!
Todae is FENGQI's bdae!!
QIQI.. SHENG RI KUAI LE!!! *MuackkieX*

Argh. Having running nose. Guess I'm sick bahx.. Throat quite uncomfortable too.. Plus I juz screamed juz now.. Haha..
Okok.. Back to Dada.. He's soo sooo soooooo cute okies... Haha.. esp when he smile.. N den his voice chao man lorhx.. hen you nan ren wei =) N all his songs is composed by himself de.. Hen bang ye~
Dada's papa, mama, jiejie, korkor n biao mei all got cum n support him lehh!! So touching ritex? Den Dada's mama n papa went on stage.. N Dada cried!! Ta ku le... My gosh.. When I see him cry I oso cudnt help it lorhx... I can understand how he feel.. Haish.. Dada bu ku bu ku ohh..
After dat I pass to him my letter.. Den he go read da envelopeeee!!! Wahaha~ Sho nice!! Lyk Qiqi liddat lo!! Hehhx~ After dat got mini auto sess~ Den when Dada signing da tym he looked down marx.. So I dun dare sae anyting.. *jing zhang jing zhang* Beri shy nehx.. Hahaa.
After dat when he look up dat tym den I said.... Err... I said... WAD DID I SAY????
Sheeet. Wo wang le =X Wait wait. Gimme sum tym. I surely can rememba de.. O YAR!

Me: " Yida, wo shi zhilin, ni yao ji de wo ohh"
( Normally, singers wud juz sae " xie xie" But he din!!)
Yida: " Zhi shen me?"
(I was lyk shocked dat he actually bothered to clarify n rememba my name lo)
Me: " Zhilin.."
Yida: " Zhi lin... hao hao.."
(Oopz..I forgot wad he said le.. Cuz when I heard him sae my name da tym I nearly fainted =X)
Den I told him dat de blue colour envelope de letter is mine.. Ask him rememba to read.. Wahaha.. bhb.. Den he sae okies... Touched his hand THREE times yesterdae.. Hehhx.. =PppP
After dat we go to da baq n tok to dada's mama.. She v friendly lo.. Hahaa.. Tell us alot of tings.. Hmm.. *Fast forward*

Went to Zpop Concert after dat.. Got ALOT of ppl lorx!! Me n Char reached v late.. Cuz Char's mom forced us to go eat wif her first.. I was totally not in da mood to eat lor.. Da concert is going to start liao n here I m eating instead of queuing up.. Her mom bought spicy spicy de noodle lo.. N I cant take spicy food de.. Except for sum.. hahaa.. Didnt wan to eat.. But no choice, stuff everyting into my mouth. N I ate sho fast dat I choked lo. Over dere coughing coughing.. Den her mom wanna buy water for mi. I faster stop coughing, Cuz if buy water den will needa take more tym to finish lo.. So I ren..
Reached da padang dere at abt 5 plus lo.. Had a hard tym squeezing in.. Thanx ah Qianz~ Heex..
Da concert got: Nan quan mama, Ah Bao & Brandy, Zhang Shao Han, Ren Xian Qi, Energy, YIDA, JJ, F.I.R..HE YAO SHAN.. etc etc..

Da concert was for FIVE hrs lor.. So mani ppl. Got no air circulation.
Very stuffy. Very hot. Very compact.
Could not breathe. Could not move. I nearly fainted lo.. Could not even stand still. Had to hold on to Qian..Felt dat I wud juz faint anytym lor.. But when Yida, Zhang shao han & F.I.R cum out dat tym I damn high leR~~ Hahaa..
Faye cried when singing " Wo men de ai".. I nearly cried too.. But I didnt even haf da energy to cry.. I was dehydrating. I need water~~ Cant afford to lose anymore water from my body le.
After dat NATHAN, Mr President came to give out prizes.. -________-"
Den He yao shan appeared n sang da charity theme song.. Ah dotx.. When she came out da tym got alot of commotion lorhx.. Everyone was BOO-ING sooo loudly.. N when she sang.. guess wad??!!
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Reallie v v v funny lo.. I laugh until nearly fell on da floor manz.. Everyone threw their light stick towards da stage!! U shud haf witnessed dat scene urself manz.. It was so damn comical.. HAHA~ U cud see lightsticks flying towards da front throughout he yao shan's whole performance.. Wahaa~ Okies.. I noe dis is rather bad of us to do so larsh.. After all, she's pregnant n still came to perform.. Haiz...

At 10 plus da tym, after F.I.R perform.. Wo cheng bu zhu le.. Den I went out wif Qian dey all to get sum fresh air n buy water.. Treasured water n air more since last nite le.. =)
After dat Energy performed.. missed toro sho much manz.. I m supposed to hate Energy for treating toro liddat n criticising my 5566.. But I still lyk Energy lehh.. V mao dun.. Haish.. Energy rawkz in dancing!! Realli.. N their songz bring baq lotsa memories... = (
Went home at abt 12 plus lo.. Shared cab wif Qian's fren.. Midnight charge itself is already costing a bomb lo... *Broke* I spent $70 in dis few daez le lehh.. Horrible.
Yea manz.. So happie.. Got Yida, Awei n Stella's CD le!! Yayys~ R-A-W-K-Z

Yida went baq to taiwan juz now le.. But mi didnt go song ji.. Cuz I scared will she bu de when see him leave.. Alwaez when go song fengqi or 5566 da tym oso liddat de.. Very sad to see ur loved ones leave lo.. ='( Nvm.. wait for another 3 mths bahx..
In da morning, Char called mi.. N told mi da GOOD NEWS!! I JUMPED OUT OF BED lo..!! Hahaa.. U dun bluff mi lehh.. please!! He realli said dat?? Oh my godd.. OMG...
Dun lift mi up into heaven n banish mi down to hell.. Dun gif mi false hopes.. Gosh.. Cant believe it..

N I haf decided. Not to be depressed or sad over bd anymorz... Dun cry over sumone hu wun cry over u.. Bu zhi de deRx.. Mmmm..
Yida's gone. Tink can finally concentrate on my studies le bahx. I hope. No more distractions. Bu yao zai xiang ta leRx.. Streaming is cumin. .N my studies is in a mess. Practically failing every sub.. I dun wanna get baq my result slip nxt wk!! Wo yao zen me he fu mu jiao dai.. Haish.
Okok.. Stop here ler.. I din realli update everyting lar.. Cuz will be V v V long de.. Once again, FENGQI & RENFU HAPPIE B'DAE!!
Btw, thanx to dose peepz hu tagged kkies!! MuackzZz.. Realli feel much betta now.. Dun go tink abt it can leR bahx.. Hmmm.. Btw hu is "ur dar dar" & ":" ? Hahaa.. Thanx aniwaez! Haish.. no one online.. SianZzZ~ Byeeee!
-Dunno how to face her tomorrow. What am I supposed to do... Give him up because of her?-

I suck

2004-08-27T21:11:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD!!!! oh my god oh my goddddddddddd

How come liddat de!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Going to cry le.

My eyes r pain. I cant control anymore.

Oh man. I suck.

GOSH. I cant believe this is hapenning.

Yes yes. Its all my fault. All my fault.

I dont know what on earth is hapenning.

My vision is blurred.

I am totally not in the mood to talk.

Even though I would really want to tell you about it.

But you dont seem concerned at all.

And you dont understand.

Even idiots can tell what is wrong and that I m feeling like shit.

Its obvious that I feel like dying now but you think that everything is alright.

Cant you just show some concern?

Maybe you just cant be bothered.

I guess I dont matter to you at all.

Fine.

Now someone hates me for being in love with you.

Yes. I am in the wrong.

Blame me. Hate me. I hate myself as well.

Dou shi wo de cuo.

Cant blog any further.

Bye.

so mani tings

2004-08-27T20:00:00.000+08:00

Hehhx.. todae got sho mani tings to update abt worr.. Hmm.. Tok abt da bball match first bahx.. It totally RAWKZ lorx!! Hahaha~ So sad.. AHS lost to RGS.. Mmmm.. but our bballers already did their best... *SmiLeX* Haish.. miss lydia sho much... so long neva contact her leRx.. Den juz now saw RGS n wondered if she was dere.. but she din cum.. ='(

After da gurls match stayed baq to watch da guyz de.. Lolx.. Dey damn power lorhx! Hao li hai ohh.. haha.. Mi cheeR until no voice leRx.. Keep on screamin.. Den da ppl arnd mi were lyk covering their ears.. haha~ PaisehXxx!

Den da 1H guyz sat behind mi.. LOL...Da notti monkeys dat bullied mi when i wanna borrow ying yong wen frm dem~~~ Hahaa.. Den dat 1H guy named bryan v BHB lorhx.. Haha.. keep on sayin he is shuai ge n BLAH~ Yea yea.. Den crap alot wif dem larx.. haha..
Was sms-ing kor throughtout da match.. Tink he muz be fan si ler bahx.. haha.. I m such a pain in da neck huhx... haha~ Sorwieee.

CHUNG CHENG won!!! Yipee~ Met mani of my pri skool frenz n oso met two of my 5566 frenz.. Kekex.. After da match end, everyone all crowd arnd da CC de bballers n wanna take pics wif dem n stuff.. Whoas~ Dey sae one of da bballers v shuai~ WAHAHAA. Den I was stuck dere alone wif my chung cheng frenz lo.. AHS de all go leRx.. Den dere got another BRYAN.. Chung cheng de.. Hahaa.. Y todae met so mani bryans huh.. Den he v farnie lorhx... I knew hin for bearly 5 mins n he started crappin wif mi lerX.. Wahh.. He was quite scary though.. Act lyk as if wo gen ta hen shou liddat.. puhlease lorhx.. Hahaa.. My frenz sae he lookz abit lyk shanwei.. NO LOR! Erms... actuallie quite lehh.. lolz~ Den dose CC guyz kept on lookin at mi.. Hermx... Nvm. nvm. Juz now saw alot of RI, CC n Unity sec de ppl... Hahaa.. Hafta admit dat got alot shuai shuai de... =P But too bad I'm not interested.. Wahaha~ loyal to bd ya noe.. DOTX.. Ohh nothing.. Juz tokin crapp. Ignore mi.

After dat actuallie wanted to go Mac n eat de.. But mi fwenz dun wan.. Haish.. Den I took 31 baq wif dem lo~ When I got up da bus dat tym, dunno y I juz take out a few coins frm my pocket n throw inside da "fare box" dere.. Den realised dat I threw $1.50 in.. =.= Cuz I was replyin sms marx.. Den oso didnt noe wad I was doin.. Hahaa..

Tml is Zpop concert ler!! All mi fav singers goin leh!! Hahaa.. Surely alot of ppl already queuing now ler lorhx.. Den mi wanna go earlie in da morning tml go queue de.. But no one pei wo.. Dey all wanna go in da afternoon.. HOW??!!

O yars.. not to forget.. Tml is oso RENFU DAR de sheng ri!!! Luv you, luv you, luv you!! =)
As well as 5566's taiwan concert!!! Hope got no tai feng.. Let da concert be a success!!
God bless!!

Love fengqi...

2004-08-26T20:33:00.000+08:00

HeYyYz~ Todae's entry may seem LONG larsh.. But its bcuz da font ish big.. haha.. Dun lose patience~
Mmm..At first, I tot dat todae's math test got sum hope deRxX... Den.. I realised dat I made lotsa stoopid mistakes manz... ALL wrong le larsh!!! Aiyeeeee~~ Qi si ren le!!! Hahaaa.. Dunno how m I gonna survive thru dis yr manz.. Streaming lehh..
N my results r lyk feaces. I mean shit. Juz tryin to sound civilised, yea? Lolz..

After skool went wif SJ to find her senior.. Den saw z. He was carryin a TALL stack of bkz.. N da nxt ting I knew was *POM* All da bookz dropped on da floor n i tink he fell down.. Gosh.. PooR ting.. You see, you see~ Consequences of dao-ing mi! LOLZ.. JKJK~ =)
Sj's senior wasnt in class.. so juz pass da NYAA bk to samuel.. haha.. Saw korr walk past.. Baq to class. But mi din sae hi... =P Lolz. He oso didnt marx.. Hmpf~ =XxX Baddieeee. lolxX~

Yesterdae saw FENGQI haneY on tv!! Gosh.. dat was da concert dat I forsaken bcuz of
u-noe-hu~ Nvm... He unbottened his shirt~ WAIT. Did I sae "unbottened"? Wahaha. My spelling simply RAWKZ huh.. Shud be "unbuttoned" bahz.. Dotx..
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N O P
Q R S T U V
W X Y Z
Now I know my ABC..
-ArBiShxXx- (#_$) Pardon mi for mi childishnesS... Or shud I sae.. cute-ness? DOTX.. >.< WAHH~~ Qiqi hao man ohh! He sang "Xiang".. Y muz he sing dat.. made mi tap went a little loose... =XxX Den saw sum shots of da MV.. Ahhhhuh~ ='(

Thanx korr for informin mi abt it hoRx~~ Wahaha. Thanx alot aLotz! Hmmm... Realised dat qiqi ish sooo skinny.. Awww~ Hart beri pain wor.. Hehhx. Eat more ahh.. Yao zhao gu zi ji ohh...=( Miss him sho much... 3 moRe daez to his bdae leRx.. N he wud be turnin 18.. Haiz.. still rememba da first tym I saw him he was not even 17 yet.. Tym passes sho fast... Sadz.

Juz now chinese class need da " Ying yong wen" book to write compo.. Den I didnt bring.. So went to borrow frm da sec 1s.. lolz.. Went to 1H for da second tym to borrow frm dem lo.. haha.. da other tym oso borrow frm 1H de.. =P Wahh.. dey all hor.. Bully "senior" sia.. I go in sae I wanna borrow bk.. den dey all yi ren shuo yi ju.. all tok crap to mi lorhz.. hahaa. Got 30 over pairs of eyes staring at mi.. Sho scarie sia! Den dey sae if I can reach da duno wad ting den dey lend mi.. Oso dunno wad dey tokin abt larsh.. Den tok sho much crapp.. haha.. Was over dere tryin beri hard to control my laughter liaoz =P Lalala~ After tokin sho much crapz to dem.. still din manage to get da bk! Wahh.. haha.. Hmm jiaxiang n -I forgot his name- v nice. Waited for mi to borrow bk.. If ish my class da guyz hor, definitely heck abt you n juz run off de lorhx.. Hahaa.. Thankew~ O yars.. recess got no space to squeeze in da table wif mi frenz.. den had to sit alone on da table beside wif da 1H guyz.. wahh.. feel so uneasy n extraded sia.. HahaZz.. Hardly moved. Plus he open his hand so big when eating.. lolz.. =S

Mmm.. 1st recess oso saw korr at da staircase dere.. Den use my dental card n tap his shoulder lo.. hahaRsh.. dun tink he saw mi.. Blur bluR deRx... But nvm larX.. HeeZ~
Tml ish da bball match finals ler.. Den 2F n 2K goin to support neHx~ Whooohooz. But seems lyk da 2G ppl r v unhappy bout it.. Keep on scoldin us lorhx.. Haish. Dun worrie lar.. I one person scream equals to 30 ppl scream de.. LOL~ I'm trained in dis. Trust mi. Hahaz. Frm tpy dere take mrt all da way baq to bedok. Can die lehh. Haha. But its much nearer compared to goin to Jurong East ryt? lolz. Datz da furthest I've been to. Eh... Actuallie not. Shud be malaysia bahz. Nono. Is Taiwan! Ehh.. NO.. Korea~ Ahhh! Forget it. hahaz.

But still, da furthest distance is from mi, to da door of his hart.
Okies.. tink I'm feelin much betta todae bahx.. Tryin not to tink sho much lerx.. Dun wanna tink abt dose tings anymoRx..
She told mi dat he wun care bout dose ppl hu lykz him..
I dun need him to lyk me or anyting...
Neng gou zuo ta de peng you yi jing rang wo gou man zu le..
Though I do hope dat he wud return a lil bit of mi lurve...
But I'm tired of dreamin of da impossible...
Haish.. Shall not go on.. If not I'll end up juz lyk before again..

Dreamnt of him last nite.. For da very first tym.. +.+
Muz haf been tinking too much of him leRx.. Not onli did he corrupt mi mind.. He made his way to my dreamland as well... Help.
I think he knows.
He didnt say anything.
Maybe it doesnt matter to him at all.
Why should it... I'm nothing... To him.
~*~ Wo bu gai tai ai ni~*~

terribly down

2004-08-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

My mood sucks. As usual.
I juz opened my maths textbook.
N realised dat dere is his name everywhere.
Every page. Every corner.
In fact, all my bookz r liddat. Anyone hu happens to flip thru.. Dat'll be da end of mi.
Datz Y.. My locker realli plays a v v v important role.. =X
I feel real terrible. I noe dat dis is da duno how mani tym i m sayin dis.. But.. Dis is my life.
I hate to feel dis way. I dunno y m I doin dis to myself.
Feel sho fan but i can onli bottle everyting up within mi. Even though I realli wud wan to pour put to sumone how I feel n juz let him noe everyting.. But I cant. Hafta ren...ControL..
No matter how terrible I feel. I cant show it out. Hafta hide my feelings wif " haha" & " lol" .. I cant possibly show others how depressed I m n make dem cry wif mi ryt?? Sho tired of forcing myself to appear strong in front of others.
U dunno its you. Maybe u noe. So wad even if u noe? Does it make a difference...?
I realli dun wanna sae anymore abt him here. But I haf no choice. Its realli v terrible to keep everyting to myself. N I dunno hu to seek for a listening ear.. It feels as though no one can understand.. N I cant sae it to anyone either.. Not dat I dun wanna sae.. I CANT.. ='(
Maybe I shud juz go create a private blog n juz pour out everyting dere. Perhaps after letting everyting out, I wud feel betta? Forget it. Nothing's gonna help.
U will alwaez be in my hart...
How I wish I haf a place in ur hart too...
But wishes can onli be wishes...
It wud neva cum true... ='(

Nono. Not him

2004-08-25T20:00:00.000+08:00

Haish.. Was feelin rather down last nite.. In fact.. everydae oso liddat.. juz dat I dun lyk to show it to ppl... Nvm nvm =)
Todae during PE got da "Relieve stress" tingie.. haha.. It was farnie lorhx.. da teacher teach us da dance step n it looked sooper comical.. Make mi n sj luff until stomach pain.. lolz.. Den had to do sum stretchin on da floor.. Kinda obscene larsh.. Hehhx..
Todae Miss Sia din cum for Science.. Den got relief teacher cum.. Hahaa.. V v funnY~ He's MrWee.. Mmm.. Den mi n jun dey all go scare him wif our " Imaginary fren".. Okies.. May sound childish larsh.. But dere's a story behind it de.. wahahaha~
Juz now assembly ish EDC de performance.. Den da guy go sae " I... love... you" to da gurl.. Wahh.. Sho touching lehhx.. Xian mu si le lar =X Da drama oso quite lame larsh.. haha..
After skool met tm.. Den walk here walk dere wif her.. hahaa.. Lyk wad liddat lorhx.. Den when walk past da 2E classrm dat tym.. got 2 boyz at da backdoor dere fighting.. Very scary lorhx.. When guyz fight ish chao kong bu de lehh! Den I dun dare walk dat direction.. But tm juz walk liddat..I was lyk over dere screamin " I dun wan walk here laaa!" Hmpf~ So I faster ran past lorhx.. Den stopped to sae " Dun fight le lar" Hahaa.. Sho scarieee!! =S
Tml got maths common test.. SianZzZ~ Sho angrie lorhx.. I went to study da WRONG chaptz.. Argh~ I sark at graphs lorhx.. In fact, I sark at every topic. Every subject. EVERYTHING.
I'm a failure. In life. In studies. In... ahem.. nth.
Wad am I doing..... Now still dun go studieee.. AiyarsH. Sumbody knock some sense into mi plz..
Prove to yourself that you can live without him.
DONT talk to him.
Please dont talk to me either.
I'm already trying hard to control.
Dis is horrible. Y m I doin dis to myself.. Ming ming hen xiang....... nvm.
I miss renfu soooo much! Everytym when i'm sad alwaez will te bie xiang ta de..
Its gonna be his bdae in 3 daez tym.. As well as 5566's concert in taiwan.. How I wish I cud be dere.. But I cant.. Hope everyting will go smoothly for darX men bahzZz~ Jiayouuuuuuuuu JiAyoU JIAYOU!!!
Great.. I've been staring blankly at my maths txtbk for da past 25 mins.. Can see dat it's already collecting dust.. I juz haf no mood to open it n STUDY. Dun feel lyk doin anyting. I'm ruining myself.. Bcuz of an idiot.
U may find it ridiculous to noe dat it's you. I myself find it ridiculous too. I dont understand me as well.
Let it be over soon... I hope...
Dis Friday our class n 2K got chosen to go toa payoh dere support ahs bball match finalz.. Can skip YuckkY D&T!!! GREAT~~ But den frm dere go home can die de lehx.. So far lorhx.. Nvm.. hopefully can see dar dar deRe.. Heex.
Okok.. Gonna try to get sum maths into mi brain.. Shall study in front of da com bahx.. Amazing dat I'm online but I'm not tokin to anyone. Its not dat I'm bz or wad. I juz.. tryin to control..? N no mood to tok. Fine.. Shall switch to tokin mode.. Feels as though Im dao-ing dem lorhx..
I blocked him. Juz now. I cant believe I did dat. Hart sho pain when i did dat. Wanted to slap myself. Im crazeee. Haish.
Wonder when will I stop feelin dis way.. It's horrible. Realli. Feels as though u realli wanna cry but juz cant.
Nothing le bahx. Da rest not convenient to sae le. (@_@) Bye.

Him again...

2004-08-24T19:57:00.000+08:00

My hart nearly skipped a beat juz now... In fact, It actually did...
I'm trying my best to control myself already.. Not to tink of him.. Or wan to see him.. Yes.. I hafta control myself.. =X

Mmm.. Tink it'll be betta not to mention sho much abt him here.. Feel rather unsafe.. =S
Wad if it's too obvious n he finds out.. Den dat'll be da end of mi.. Cant face him anymore..
ENUF. I needa tok. To hu? I cant tell anyone. Shall go tok to da mirror bahX... It's da best way.. I tink..? Cuz I'm da onli person dat I can trust..
Fine. I'll stop.
Dis is scary.. I tink tm noes hu I lyk ler.. Tm.. please please please.. HUSH abt it.. Aniwae, I tink u're still uncertain abt it ryt? Great.. U shud not noe too much.. =Z
Hafta learn to do away wif all da paisehness n shyness n juz FACE him... Feels horrible to pass by him everytym. My eyes r alwaez running awae n my mouth.. feels as though I've juz eaten super glue or sth... Haish.

Juz now in da canteen zhanting said hi.. Den he called mi cum over.. haha.. Den he said " why ur eyes always sweeping here n there de?" ERRS... Wad ya mean? B4 I cud ask.. kena dragged awae by YZ liaoz.. LOL~ Still dun understand lehh.. hahaa.. Wad ya mean by sweeping?? Den I rolled my eyes for him to see.. wahaha.. My eyes dun sweep. Dey mop. HAHA.

LolxX. korr n A went to buy prezzie for A's sis bdae.. HeeZ~ Sho nice of him to gif sis prezzie horrx.. =Xx If I were her, I wud lyk anyting my bro gif mi de lorx.. Cuz I wud be happie enuf to noe dat he cares n rememba mi bdae.. So envy worr.. hahaz.. =P
Juz now brought yunzhi along for YF.. hahaa.. Den v farnie.. she keep playin wif mi hp de keychainz.. hehhx.. playfuL gurl arhxx.. Mmm.. dun forget nxt sundae goin Jun's church horx..

YEA MAN!! ZPOP concert dis saturdae.. Can see mi DADA (Yida), F.I.R!! Stella! Energy~ Zhang Shao Han!! Linda~~JJ... Etc etc.. Hehhx.. RAWKZ SIA!! All mi fav worr!! =PpP

Btw.. Its 4 more daez to Renfu's bdae.. Gosh.. Mi darx is a big boyy now!! *Sobz* Wait for mi...

Very vexed nowadaez... So plz understand if I suddenly get very quiet n dun tok okies.. Sorrie..
And Gaoyan arhx.. Dun be late anymore horx.. Need mi to gif ya morning call tml? But I scared disturb ur mom lehz.. haha.. Nvm~ Pardon mi horrendaz mood nowadaez k... =)) Go le.. Bye bye.

Block me plz..

2004-08-23T21:15:00.000+08:00

[ J u s t - N o w... 5:15 ]
YES! I'm HERE!! Gosh.. I noe I've already promised to dump mi com down da rubbish chute.. Yes.. I planned to.. In fact, I was aready plucking out da wires on mi com juz now leR.. But.. I stopped n fixed everyting baq together again.. I cudnt bear to... Haish.. okok. Now he's not online.. Good excuse to make mi go offline ler... But..after I blog dis ok?
Lata still got tuition until 7.. Maybe I'll cum online at 8 bahx.. ERM.. WAD AM I THINKING AGAIN?!! Great great.. Feel sho angry wif myself.. All my test results realli sarked lorhx.. Errs.. I cant use da past tense "sarked" Cuz it still sarks now.. So let's put it dis way.. My results SARKS.. I got da HIGHEST marks in class... frm da BOTTOM for almoz every sub!! Isnt dat simply marvellous?? No... NOT AT ALL~~ I'm doomed. Finished. Dead meat, so dun cook mi.. =S My studies.. Is more rotten den da corpses in da graveyard.. =XxX I HATE MYSELF!!
Yes.. She comes online for him.. But does he know all that? No.. not at all.. All these sacrifices arent worth it at all.. He doesnt know.. He doesnt understand.. Don't do this to yourself. Please. Your life is being greatly affected by him.. But is his life the least bit affected because of you? NO... never... Please... Block her.. Dun let her see yoo.. She cant bring herself to block yoo.. After how many useless attempts.. ='(
GREAT.. tink dis is helping mi.. By stating out da facts n letting each one of dem hit mi rite on da face.. YES. He's not worth it. Nononono..
U treat mi juz lyk how u treat anyone else. I'm nothing special to yoo. While u mean so much to mi. U dun bother to initiate anyting. Neva..
Msn --> NO... Sms --> NO.. Fine fine.. Cant be bothered wif mee.. ? Shall let yoo be.. I'm not gonna bug u animore.. I'm tired... But.. I shall hold on.
Cant u juz learn to appreciate, cherish n understand da idiot dat lurves yooo.. She shall wait for dat dae.. IF it wud cum..
I'm sorry. Sorry, Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
For dis entry dat may piss yoo off once again.. I cant stand myself either..
But u hafta noe dat I'm trying... Tryin to get all da luvsickness outta meee..
Tell me dat dis is juz infatuation n will get ova soon... Tell mi...
She's not certain of wad she's feelin.. She's strugglin......
Dun care bout her.. She'll be fine soon. I suppose.. =)
-Off I go to studieee- Tuition in 15 mins tym~
* God, please lead her to the correct path and guide her along her way. Give her hope and dont let her be disheartened anymore. Bless that she would find her happiness soon..*
~*~ 5 moRe daez to Renfu daRx Bdae~*~
-^-^ 6 moRe daeZ to Fengqi haneY's Bdae-^-^

[ A f t e r ]
HEYY!!! Yes, I'm baCkkkK!! Gotta share wif ya guyz a beri good news.. TO ME... haharsH..
Da pic dat I took wif Fengqi developed leR!! Its wif janice now!! Mi haven see yet... CANT WAIT LEH!! She sae dat it's VERY NICE~ Gosh.. Feel lyk takin cab choing to her hse now n kidnap da pix over manz.. Hahaz.. She sae she gonna post to mi.. Errs.. I sho scared da postman uncle lose it or wad lehx.. hahaz.. My ONE & ONLY pic taken wif Qiqi lehh~ Means sho much to mi... Heex~ Aniwaez.. babaa gonna buy yida n stella's cd for mi.. lolz.. Luv ya~ =) Hahaa.. feel sho much betta now! Thankew~!!! Tml got SWT.. hahaz.. Got da relief stress tingie.. Lookin forward to it.. ARGH~ Dunno where in da wurLd ish my NYAA booklet manx.. Gotta make a personal trip down to mars to search for it leR~ So cham lorhx.. Hahaa~ Wahpiangx.. z arhx.. haish.. Bring out da dao side of him huh? Yea yea~~ Thanx for givin mi dat honour huh.. LOL.. Mmm.. JL not in a good mood.. Hmms.. oso dunno y larsh.. CheeR up kz! *SmiLeXxX* worr.
Datz all.. Byeeee.. =) =(

SkooL Com Lab~

2004-08-23T10:02:00.000+08:00

Hehex.. Now ish Art period.. In com lab.. LOL~ Mi sho notti huh... Cant blame mi marx.. Shooo sianzZ~ Actuallie.. Da WHOLE class is practically surfing sites dat we arents supposed to.. Lyk as if we care~ WAahahahahaz~~
Juz now accidentally drop da com boot.. Duuno la.. part of it juz suddenly *Piang*.. den drop on da floor lorhz... Den teacher ask mi sth.. but I din hear properly.. I tot she said " What have you brought?" Den I answered " Pencil box" After dat da whole class LAUGHED~ Den I realised dat teacher ask mi " What did you DROP" Okies~ Made a fool outta myself.. Great great... Got baq Science test leR.. Lyk wad I expected.. My results... Haish... Make mi in such a rotten mood now.. It's gonna be recess sooN.. Beri hungry =X But no mood to eat.. haish.. I've decided ler... I'm gonna dump my com down da rubbish chute da minute I get home manz.. It's ruining mi... Haish... Nvm.. Y not u block mi bahz.. Or juz delete mi off ur contact list... Thanks.. Thanx... ='(
Mmm.. Todae ish my younger bro's Bdae.. HeeZ~ Dis year PSLE.. Muz jiayou woR.. hahaa.. Please please please! Dun fight wif mi over da com anymore.. kkies?? Hahaa.. Lyk as if he will listen lorhz... Suan ler bahx.. =XxX
Nutting to tok abt ler.. But It's rather cool to blog in SKOOL huh.. Lolx.. First tym.. K larsh.. mi go be GUAI KIA ler.. Errrms... Hu cares abt lamo art?? Lolx.. Stop here bahx... Update lata again.. Maybe I will not even let myself touch da com lata when I get home.. Haish.. Hafta control.. But I noe it wun work de.. DEFINITELY. I've lost all my self-discipline. Horrible. Kkz.. go le.. Byeee~

CoLoUrFuL...

2004-08-22T19:34:00.000+08:00

Hmm... Todae blog alot of post sia.. Haish.. too boliao ler marx.. Mi changed template ler...TaggY oso.. heeX.. Nice nice?? Dortx... But it's kinda messy.. In fact. its VERY..
Shoooo shoooo~ Dun see first.. cum again another dae... LOLZ...
Wahh.. tokin to z can make mi vomit blood manz.. hahaa... Dun lemme see u tml in skool horx... If not Im gonna step ur feet~ HMPF~ Betta wear flippers to skool hor! lolx.. jkk... Aiyoz... Dunno how to save mi blog manz.. Need help~ hahaz... Gettin cock eye lerx... Haish.. go eat dinna leR.. Byeee~

Escape...lol..

2004-08-22T12:37:00.000+08:00

Yesterdae din update... Cuz went to Escape wif Seowjin, Yunzhi & Liu Ying after oral... Gaoyan n her kuzzin came to join us later on... GY's kuzzin went baq to China yesterdae leR.. Hope she enjoyed herself =) Mi changed
ORAL... Dun mention to mi anyting abt dat anymore... Dunno y my reading sarked sho much yesterdae... Den for da tokin abt da topic tingie.. I juz toked for bearly 1 min den da teacher sae I can go le.. HOW CAN LIDDAT DE?? Other ppl hu started da same tym as mi finished FIVE mins after mi leh!!! AHHHH~ Sooooo angry!!! Da teacher.. was such a disappointment.. Forget it... b4 dat saw wj at da canteen.. den said halo lorhz.. Hahaa.. Reaction sho farnie. Nvm nvm.. Nxt tym dun sae hi leR.. lata shock him to death~ =X
After dat, went to Escape lorhx.. hahaaa.. Noe it's kinda lame but we still went.. belated celeb? Lolz.. kkz. Da first ride was enuf to send mi home manz... Realli. I screamt until no more vioce liaoz... Poor meee got dragged up da ride by YZ dey all.. Hmpf~ Den when finish da tym.. I realli felt lyk vomitting lorhz.. Chao ji nan shou leh...
How I wish he was dere...
Yayyy.. Mi finally managed to ke fu ALL my xin li zang ai ler... No longer scared of da viking ship or tall tall scary slides~ Whooohooz. I'm a brave 14-yr-old huh..?
Was on a sms-marathon yesterdae... Lolz. Break new record leR.. Realised dat I've wasted 37 of korr's sms-es altogether? Oh gosh... So so so sorrie.... =P
Tokin abt da viking ship ryt... Got 2 v cute american kidz sittin in front of mi yesterdae.. Den I was lyk over dere crappin wif dem? Oso dunno y.. Den he said he bet I wud scream.. N I said NO I wun~ I'm obviously lying. Den when it started, I told myself muz NOT scream.. If not lose face.. -____-" Den it was sooo very farnie lorhz.. I was over dere saying " I will not scrEAMMMMM~~~~" Yes. Dui lian si ler... -.- Den in between said alot of rubbish.. Everyone was lyk laughin at my baichi-ness? Fine. finee..
Mi sho scared.. Had to crap to cover mi fear.. Haiz. Den when I screamed.. Da angmors were lyk covering their ears, going "AWWW~" Yea manz.. finally got mi revenge.. Muahahahaz~ DIAOZ. =PpP
U noe wad... I'm so disgusted lorhz.. Yes, again.... Over dere got a grp of teenage guyz.. Den dunno issit after we plae da Wet n wild shirt all transparent or wad.. When walk past da tym dey go whistle n make dose kinda kissing sound.. WAH~ Den I ignored n tot dat dey may be doin dat to sumone else lorx... Den da second tym I walked past dem alone.. N dey did dat again.. Den dey said " Liu ge dian hua hao ma leh" DOTX... Liu ni de tou larsH... Si bian tai... ARGH~ After dat ne, we walked to da Go- cart dere to find YZ dey all.. N at first dose guyz is queuing for da "panasonic" de.. Den dey actuallie FOLLOWED over to da Go-cart dere... Mi faster tao li xian chang~ LOL.. Sickko... Kept on lookin n lookin... Qu si lar... HehhX. Mi abit uncivilised larx.. but dey realli beri er xin lorhz...=S
We actuallie spent da whole dae dere.. frm 2 until 7 plus.. Den reached home at abt 9 plus.. Reach home da tym bro hogging onto com.. Dun lemme use.. Lookz lyk mi facing same prob as korr now.. Poor us.. Haish.. Mi alwaez wanna tok logic to bro but no use de lorhz.. He is foreva RIGHT~ N alwaez muz gif way to him de.. Hao ku ming ohh... = (
Yesterdae supposed to go for SR's cell or church de.. Lolz.. Tink nxt tym she gif up askin ler bahz.. alwaez kenna fang ge zi de.. Paiseh lo~ Sorwie...! Hahaa.. no more cell to go leR ='(
SianZzZ.. Now no one online.. Haish.. Bd not online too..
Mmm.. tml can see him again leR.. =) See him oso no use de.. alwaez dun dare look.. Mi sho useless.. Okies lar.. Entry gettin so lengthy again... C yaa.. Byeeeee!

Shoo touching ='(

2004-08-22T11:54:00.000+08:00

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty.
He said... No.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....
And he said No.
She then asked him if she were to leave, would he cry?
And once again, he replied with a No.

She had heard enough.
As she walked away, tears streaming down her face, the boy grabbed her arm and said....
You're not pretty, you're beautiful.
I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever...
And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

My gosh... If onli I cud find dat someone....
No.........
Quit dreaming........ ='(

What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else,
But you ......
Could never have them?
What would you do if you really loved one person but never told him cos you are scared that he might not love you....?

B - e - n - D - a - n

If I died tomorrow,
you would be in my heart forever.
Would I be in yours...?

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

What would you do when the only person who can make you stop crying was the person who made you cry?

belated celeb..

2004-08-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

O manz.. yesterdae juz had test den todae get baq paper liaoz... sho fast sia~ And... lyk wad I expected.. da results was absolutely FANTASTIC~~ =X Gosh... I see mi test paper hor.. realli wanna vomit blood lehx... Everyone dat I showed da paper to laugh lyk mad lorhx... -____-"
U noe my zao ju horx.. wanted to write "shou dao le hen da de da ji".. den da "ji" write until the CHICKEN de "ji"... dotx... still got mani more stoopid answers lorhx.. =XxX Den one of da compre blanks.. I go write bendan's name... gosh.. den teacher put a big CROSS dere.. hahaa.. she muz be tinking y on earth is dis name doin here... Haish.. I oso dunno y I wrote it.. -.-
Juz now after cca waited for mamaaa to cum.. lolz.. den b4 dat go stadium dere n sit for awhile lorhx.. heeX~ Den da chang mian was sho zhuang guan sia.. DotXx.. topless.. haha.. din even dare to look down leh... = / Haha.. haha... Realised dat korr lyk v bai horx.. hahaa.. Ken de skin tone not bad larsh.. lolxXx~ Den everyone all chao fit de lorhx.. wahh.. hao xian mu wor~ =)
After dat went out wif familie for belated celeb.. heeZ.. went to sakae dere.. den dere got one screen marx.. lyk com liddat.. den I was tinking to myself if can use msn nortz.. DIAOZ. Mad!! Wanna bish myself manz.. msn, msn, msn!! WARGH~ =X
Went to top up M kaa leR.. yea manz.. got da 5566 pix de.. RAWKZ~ Now can FINALLY sms ler!! Whoooohooo~ Mi ish sms freakk.. haha.. Oso bought new wallet... its pinKkk~ Very pweetty! HeeX~
Tml got chinese oral... Ahhh~ Feel sho unprepared... Scared... Da reading part is ok.. is da needa tok abt the topic dat part.. Grrr~ God bless..
Den in da morning horx.. ken n clement.. YES. I finally got his name! lolz.. Yeppz.. dey came to mi class find mi.. den clement sae " congratulations. U have passed through da auditions n entered da singapore idol..." Wah diaoz.. Hahaa.. farnie sia.. Is wanna inform mi dat I got in SWT de larsh.. okies~ Zhi dao ler.. ;p If Bendan cum tok to mi horx.. I..... okies.. no point tokin sho much.. cuz I noe he wun de.. =S
Dun understand y everyone sho shallow n superficial de... Juz go for looks.. to mi.. its da inner beauty dat counts.. Looks arent dat impt after all.. I dunno... If bendan ish liddat too... I hope not.. If he is.. I wud be terribly disappointed.. haish..Forget it..
Yea manz.. mamaaa, ai si ni ler!! She gave mi $150 for mi bdae woR~ Betta Shhhh le.. lata tml kenna robbed sia.. Choyy~ N for da very FIRST tym in my life.. I can keep my own money!! YAYYS~~ Wahaha~ Dis ish too great to be true.. heez~ Thankew!!!
Mmm... SJ... thanx alot arhx.. hahaa.. todae actuallie wanted to go canteen dere juz to take a peek at him de.. Den SJ said NO. hahaa.. I told her to.. cuz I haf lost control of myself leR.. Dunno y m I doin all dese stoopid tings for.. I dun wanna continue lykin him.. It's miserable... pain... He dun understand. But I cant gif up either... sarkz terribly.. realli.. Hate being luv-sickk all da tym.. Y cant I juz die of dis horrendaz sickness...
Okies larsh.. dunno y.. suddenly mood bcum sho bleagHz again... dun feel lyk blogging further..=(
Alwaez hopin to receive ur msg... But I neva did... Yooo cant be bothered...
Fine fine. Wad can I do.... Mi = nobody...
Realli wanna let u noe.. but I'm scared... Dun wanna be hurt anymore.. Maybe I already noe da answer.. But I refuse to believe in it... Hoping dat dere's still a chance... is dere? ='(
Kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao..... Dan lian + An lian de zi wei bu hao shou..... Cant u juz return a little of mi luv... Fu chu le na me duo, dan que shen me dou mei de dao...
LuvV- sickKk... Mi condition ish deteriorating.. I need da hospital. Goodbye.

HorrendaZ...

2004-08-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

GRRRRR!!!Sho pek chek leh!! Juz now blog until sho xing ku.. den com got DC!!! WARGH~~ Fine fine. Ranting down here doesnt help either. I shall be an understanding & nice lady n RETYPE DA WHOLE TING AGAIN!!!! -calm down-
Ok.. AS I WAS SAYING... Todae's test was an absolute disaster... I did studiee... N I noe how to do de.. Its juz dat I was realli very very tired... My eyes cud hardly open.. N to tink dat I dreamt manz..N I dun even noe y in da wurld did I write down parts of da conversations in my dream on da test paper sia!!GOSH~ To tink dat I cud actuallie write while dreaming manz.. Can break guinness record ler larsh... Wad kinda record is it when ppl lyk mi cud actuallie break it huh? Lolz.. N I answered da CHINESE compre in ENGLISH?! Piangx.. Sumore ish all crap de... NOTHING to do wif da compre de lorhx.. Dunno wad m I doin manz.. Was making cancellations lyk siao.. Tink my chinese teacher surely mark until vomit blood de larsh.. Good good.. =X Haish.. mi dun wanna get 10/100... Haishh.. Sadz~ I was struggling to keep my eyes open lorhx.. But cant....
Haish.. yesterdae slp sooo late again larsh.. Everydae oso liddat de.. haiyah.. dun care le lar... everytym no matter how tired I m.. I oso force myself to cheng zhu until bendan go offline de.. Wo bu she de to leave b4 him.. N I hate da feelin of havin to sae bye.. Even got test I oso wei le ta..... haish.. nothing larx...Dis is weird manz.. I realised dat I even wrote bendan's name on my test paper... gosh.. Muz be mad.. I wrote it while I was in dreamland..? Den when I saw it, was lyk cancelling it lyk madz.. wahh.. -.- Okies.. enuf of da stoopid test ler larx.. hmm..
Juz now mi n yunzhi went to da toilet b4 maths lesson.. den when we came out da tym.. guess wad we saw??!! COACKROACH!!! N it's si jiao chao tian lorhx.. It's half-dead.. horrible.. da legs still wriggling madly.. SO SCARY!!!! I didnt dare to go out of da toilet lorx.. cuz its right outside da door! Den yunzhi faster ran past it.. left mi alone behind.. I realli very very very scared lehx... I dun dare to move.. Den hide in da toilet for 15 mins.. Realised dat I was terribly late for maths lesson leR.. so I gu qi yong qi, faster run past da coackroach!! Den mi n YZ SCREAAAAAMED lyk siao!! Mr.Tan came outta class to see wad was goin on.. den sho paiseh.. when we went baq to class da tym mei you lian jian ren lorhx.. Everyone heard us scream neHx~ =XxX N da class was lyk laughin at us for screamin until liddat bcuz of a... Coackroach? Not farnie lorhx.. Hmpf.. after dat when we went baq to da toilet again, dunno which mean piggY go throw da coakroach at us~ WAH!! Scream until no more voice ler larx.. nearly bei xia ku lorhx.. tao yan la..
Hmmm.. todae korrr walk past twice? Den he neva sae hi de... hmpf~ neva see or cant be bothered? hahaz.. At da canteen n coridoor dere..? YarsH~ At da canteen dere he walk past wif a straw in his mouth (as usual) Hahaz~ V qqqqt...
Errrx.. nvm nvm~ Or maybe see mi wanna vomit bahx? Hahaa.. he realli did vomit already.. take care horx! God bless~ -hugz- =)
Hahaa.. JL tok abt his HomeEc experience v farnie sia.. lolz.. Happie new year? lol lol~ HomeEc rawkz sho much more den D&T lorhx.. But I shall alwaez remain my stand as anti-marychan~ lolz.. dun tink she is dat advance to cum read blogs bah? So I guess Im safe...? HeeX~
Haiz.. Life without sms-ing ish so xing ku manz... can die de lehz... haha.. tml go top up leR.. hope can get Renfu pic de M kaa... hehex.. dun gimme dunno wad spider man again... -____-"
Hmmms. D&T... whoax~ still haven do yet.. Die larsh.. dunno where to go search for info abt toys lorhx.. wad a lame topic manz... Haish~ howw... gonna get killed by dat mad kwang tml ler larsh..
Sadx.. Todae Qiqi go baq leR.. but cant go see him for da very last tym.. =/ ... No chance to ask n tell him le.. Y he muz go baq during skool hours... Zen me ke yi.... ="(
Todae din tok much...
To him...
N to everybody...
ArgH~ feel sho... eRrs... Suan le bahx.
Mi go leR.. try to do D&T bahx.. =XxX Printer cant print.. got AP sia.. hahaz.. Which kind soul can help mi print ne? N-o-n-e... (@_*) I go book coffin leR bahx.. gonna be dead tml!
Meee go call gy ler.. *Yawnz* Shoo tired~ FINALLY can go slp earlie ler.. cuz... nvm..
Haish.. But CANNOT... needa do stoopid D&T...!! ZzZzZ~ C yaa~~ Byeeeee~

Happie B'dae~

2004-08-18T17:50:00.000+08:00

Z h u W o S h e n g R i K u a i L e
Yeppz. Todae ish mi bdae.. Zhang da le worr.. Gosh.. I'm a biG babieee noW! Yayys~ Haish.. but, stayed at home. Din go out to celeb.. cuz.. for sum stoopid reason.. I wanna stay online? -__________-" Stoopid mi.
Dis yr's bdae ish v ordinary... except dat I've received mani hart-warming greetings frm mi frenz.. N sum prezzies.. actuallie.. its da tot dat counts.. even use RECYCLED paper to write letter to mi I wud oso cherish alot de.. rite GAOYAN? hahaz..
Qz mommie msged mi happie bdae at 12:01am? hahaz.. so zun sia.. thankew mommie! Yes yes! Nu er will grow up de! Thanx lotsa for ur niceeeee prezzie n touchin letter.. Rawkz mann.. heeZ~
Mommie.. u yesterdae sae wanna cum find mi da tym I still tot u jokin onli leh.. mei xiang dao u first recess already waitin at 2A for mi.. Sho paisehh.. =X Zhi dao mommie hen teng nu er... xie xie ni~!
Hmmms... den oso received msg frm joel? lolz.. at 4:25am??!! DOTX~ Errss.. Newspaper kia.. Y ur timing guai guai de? haha.. u sae overslept? Dotx.. yuan lai u set wrong alarm woR.. hahaz.. okok~ Still ask mi to slp earlie? DOTX... Haha.. already goin to wake up le lorhx.. farnie sia~ hahax.. thanx aniwaez!!
After dat oso got receive Seowjin, weijie, zhanting, Yunzhi, shanrui, yingqian...... de wishes~ Thanx ah ppl.. Mi v touched.. really...Thanx to ever1 hu cared n remembered mi b'dae.. Luv ya lotz!
Haish.. I'm ok le.. Juz now first recess.. oso dunno y lar.. den pass by wj dey all da tym bow head n look on da floor.. dun dare look up.. cuz eyes red red de.. sho paisehh... ya lorhx.. den when pass by dem wj said bye byeee. But I dunno to hu.. oso cant look up marx.. so juz ran past lorhx.. paisehx hor korr.. haha.. Now eyes still v pain.. haish. look lyk rabbit liddat... o.0 Muz call plumber cum fix my tap le larx... ask ben dan bahx.. Noooo.. he wud make tings worse.. okie okies~ dun tok abt him le.. lata ppl wanna kill mi again~ esp mommie.. haha.. STOP!
Tml got chinese test... Im sho dead manz... as usual~ Wad can u expect frm ME rite? hahaz.. Im hopeless. But cannot liddat! I already promised myself muz hao hao du shu ler.. plus todae turn 14 leR.. so shud "start anew" n cong xing zuo ren? Lolx.. try... try...
EH!!! Suddenly remembered abt da PE tingie... I tell u hor.. V V V SCARY lehh!! Eeeeeekz~ At da b.ball court dere... AHHHHHHH. Y lyk got 1 extra person liddat? Oh mi gosh... can feel my hair standin leRx...When I shouted, "someone" shouted wif mi too.. at first i tot it was YZ.. but NO! She didnt even open her mouth.. N at dere onli got mi n her! If it wasnt her, den WHO WAS IT??!! Den we guessed maybe it was echo.. dan BU SHI!! I tried shoutin again.. but NO ECHO!! Ok great. I was totally freaked out. I v v v scared lor! Den Jun see I v scared, cum n scare mi.. make mi S-C-R-E-A-M~~~ Dotxx.. Scare mi not onli 1 tym lorh.. make mi nearly died of hart attack sia~ So u all dun cum n "boo" mi frm behind horx.. Wo hui bei xia si de.. lolz~
O btw, mommie.. I v curious hor.. in ur letter.. u mentioned da "valued frenz".. ERRR~ How cum u wrote those names.. AHEM.. U r scary sia.. N ur first sentence sounds so spastikk.. U juz anyhow sae de ryt? heeX.. ok I m not tryin to mean anyting or wad larsh.. juz curious.. hee~
OHH!! Todae we got to see our class photos!! YEA MAN!! IT RAWKX!! 100000000 times betta den laZ yr's one lorhx!! Haha.. dis yr one look more lyk mi.. yayy! Dun go see laZ yr's one hor. Promise mi. I dun wan yoo to vomit. =PpP
Tokin abt vomitting.. I tink I'm da one dat feel more lyk puking lorhx.. GUESS WAD HAPPENED JUZ NOW?? O manx.. it's totally DISGUSTING until cannot disgusting ler larsh!!
SY KISSED ME!! For goodness heaven's gracious sake!! Hao er xin ohh!! Kill mi baHx.. Dunno muz wash mi face how mani tymz den can lorhx.. oh mi gosh.. Tink it's more disgusting den accidenatally barging into da class n see lip tat taking his pants off half-way, changing bahx..? Whoas~ Erm.. Oopz.. sorrie.. =P -faintz-
Okies.. mi goin to change template so0n.. N I've finally managed to strike-out da wishes frm da wishlist.. kool huh.. lolx.. I v mountain goat at dis kinda tings de larsh~ =)
Lata Fengqi gonna celebrate his b'dae wif his fans leR... SO SAD! I cant gooooo!!! *Sobx* But I really really REALLY wanna go!! Mommieeeeee~ Dis is sho unfair manx! HMPF~ I miss fengqi sho much... N I got sho mani tings wanna tell him.... but no chance leR.. ='(
AHHHHHHHH!! Where ish my Cheng Yu??!! Sheeeet!! Cannot find~~ How to studieeee? GREAT GREAT. Piangx.
Ah dotx.. Y sho mani ppl ask mi abt bendan.. haha.. now wj ah... lolx.. no use askin de larsh... Im not gonna sae de.. my lips r sealed.. hahaRsH~ Paiseh if I made u pekchek lo~ ^_^
Everyone jiayouuu for test tml! Okies. Mi muz NOT slack leR.. But Im addicted to da com~ Shuckx. Shall try to study baHx~ Maybe in front of da com? hahaz.. =) Eekz. Its sho quiet again.. Hmpf~ I'm alone. = (
Datz all leR bahx... todae entry v long leR.. too paiseh to blog futher on.. lolz..
Happie bdae ZL... Renfu luvs yoo.. Fengqi luvs yoo.. =X *DotxieS*
BenDan....... dunno larsh... dun even tink I matter to him bahx... = (
~*10 MOrE DAeZ To Lao Gong Fu fu's Bdae woR~*

B e n D a n..

2004-08-17T19:20:00.000+08:00

R e g r e t x
Juz reached home.. juz now got YF.. N da results of da SWT auditions r out~ Hmmmms. Wad do ya guyz tink? hahax... I was quite shocked to noe da results too... hehex~ Din expect myself to get in! Hahaz... Thanx god~ =)
Wahh piangx... juz now during YF da tym.. tm damn qian bian sia~~ Keep on ShOuTiNg my name out! Diaozz~ Puhlease lorhx.. Im juz RITE in front of U leh xiao jie... shout sho loud for wad huh.. haha... I noe I noe.. thanx for ur "hao yi".. but realli... its not neccesary.. haha... I dun wan... Wanna change name ler larx... Dotxxx... =PpP
Mi muz haf looked lyk an idiot juz now lorhx~ GrEaT... GREAT~!
Now... wo hao hou hui... HaisH.. I feel sho angry wif myself.. Y m I sho shy when I see him... Dun even dare to look at him at all. Forced myself to look at another direction wheneva I saw him lookin at my direction.....Ming ming hen xiang kan dao ta de.. Why.... I'm torturing myself.
Evertym see him oso will bi kai de.. wad m i doing... Haven I been missing him lyk mad everytym...N when he finally appeared... I dun even dare to look at him n juz pretend dat I dunno him at all.. ArGh~ I cant stand myself. Really. Y m I alwaez so paiseh de.. Im sho useless. ='( I realli realli regret sho much..... hao hou hui..... jing tian ming ming you hen duo ji hui de... dan wo que mei hao hao bao wo... Qi si ren le... Hao tao yan wo zi ji....
I Hate myself for being shYy when I see him. I hate my hart for jumping sho fast when he appears. Hate myself for pretending dat I dunno his existance...Hate myself frm staying awae frm him when I ming ming hen xiang kao jing....
Conclusion : I hate myself.
I realised dat my sixth sense is really really really very scary.. alwaez da thought dat cums to my mind realli bcum true de... Shall not sae wad... But.... I cant help it! He appeared. I was so shocked. Really.
I realli feel lyk giving up n take it dat I din noe his existance... but u n I noe dat it's impossible... Yao wang le ta de yi qie bi shen me dou nan.... NO. I muz not gif up! zL, Hold on. He doesnt hafta luv u.. as long as he's happie can le.. Muz learn to zhu fu ta... Suo yi ne, Yi ding yao jian chi xia qu.. muz not gif up... Even if he lykz another person or will fall in luv wif sumone else... it wun stop mi.. ryt? Foreva loyal to bendanbaichi.. ( Great. I m tokin to myself?) -.-
Okaa~ ENUF! Dis entry is getting shooooooo...... luv-sick n hua-chi again... Im sorry. sorry. But I guess u shud be used to it ler baHx.. =XxXxX
Actuallie todae, suppose to go out wif family to celeb in advance de... cuz tml mama n babaa goin overseas le.... But wo wei le yao qu Youth Fellowship..... forsakken my onli chance of goin out to celeb wif my family =(( Haish.. Tml I'm gonna hafta spend my bdae ALONE~ Pathetikk... I asked for it. Realli gonna feel real horible tml baHx.. Hao ji mo.. Hao kong xu...
Yi nian yi du de sheng ri ish tomorrow le. Final. No more counting down. But so wad.. dere's nth to look forward to dis yr.. I dunno y I dun feel da least excited at all.. In fact, I feel horrible. Hu understands...
Okies~ hope tml i wun get too disappointed baHx..... Haishh.. dun feel lyk goin to skool.. miss fengqi sho much.. wanna go find him....... haish. Mad.
No more running away. No more avoiding. No more hiding. No more pretending.
U can do it... zl jia you~ act norm.. dun make tings too obvious..... FINE. Xia ding jue xing to sae hi to him nxt tym I see him le.. Otherwise may appear to be Rude or daO if i dun sae anyting at all...
HaisHhH~ Sho sianZz. As usual. Everyone's sho quiet. N I m tired of initiating everyting leR...
When wud u eva learn to understand my feelings... When wud u eva initiate... Is it juz sho difficult...? I'm tired...
Mommie qZ sae he tml cumin mi klazz find mi.. wish mi happie bdae.. datz nice of him.. heeX~ Thankew mommie~ But horr.. I doubt I'll be in class lehh.. Most prob go 2A find GY.. hahaz.. everydae oso liddat de... ^^ Aniwaez, Jiayou for Prelims n O Levels horr!! Den nu er got moRe mian zi maR~ =P
Hmmm.. Cant manage to strike out mi wish list lehh.. nvm.. I delete straight awae.. haha.. Finally got 3 wishes off mi list leR. Yea manz.. way to gooo~
1) Get Fengqi tix
2) Go for Fengqi events
3) Take pic wif Fengqi
Lolx.. everyting oso abt Fengqi de.. HeeX~ Mi go add on to wishlist leRx.. got sho mani wishes.. but bu hao yi si to list out all.. sum juz keep in da hart to myself can leRx.. heeX~ Mi go le.. byeeee~
// W a i t i n g //
Wo jiu shi kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao...
Tomorrow.... finally turinin 14...

Fengqi...

2004-08-16T21:15:00.000+08:00

T h e D a y A f t e r T o m o r r o w
Hmms. Sho sadz.. Fengqi wud be celebrating his bdae on dis wed.. 18/8.. No faiR~ If onli I cud celeb wif him.. Haish~ Dream on larsh... I wud be cryin at home manz.. haisH. nvm larsh.. zhi yao ta kuai le jiu hao le.. Den da nxt dae, 19/9.. is LONGZE's bdae woR~ Haha.. August so mani ppl bdae sia..
18/8- Wang^ Zhang Tai tai.. dotX.. -__________-"
19/8- LongZe
28/8- RENFU!!
29/9-FENGQI!!
Hahaz... paiseh horx.. yesterdae entry sho long.. I already edited 4 tymz liao.. =P Now alreay considered V short le woR~ Haishh.. now sho sianz.. everyone all sho quiet de.. fine fine. Leave mi alone.
Nowadaez... mi mood sWinG sWinG sWinggg~ Haish. V terrible.
Todae Qiqi go CHIJ for xiao yuan yan chang hui.. Dun wan tink abt it le lar.. lata I go burn down dat skool.. LOL.. Zhang da sao, relac relac~
Hahaha.. suddenly remember Fengqi yesterdae so funny... lolz... He go up da stage ler den wan to " tuo diao".. take off his clothes larsh.. tink too hot ler baHx.. he keep on wanna tuo lorhx.. tink he too influenced by Du De Wei de " Tuo diao" song ler bahx... In fact, Toro oso lorhx.. =P
O manz.. My whole mind is abt him now..
Renfu... Fengqi... Mi no yi jiao ta liang chuan ok.. bu shi lorhx... nan dao zhe yang zi ye you cuo ma.. Hmpf~ Nvm larsh.. tink wadeva u all wanna tink... =XxX I m clear of my own feelings can leR.. >.<
Ummmm... tml mamaa bringin mi out to celeb. Cuz she wed not free marX. =( Aniwae, dun tink I'll be in da mood to do anyting on wed either.. Fengqi... Haiz...
Babaaa getting Awei n Jay's album for mi.. hahaa~ FiNaLLy.. ThanKeW... =)
SianZzZzzZz~ ARGH~ So leng qing lorhx,.. No one tokin de.. Forget it larsh. I go tok to myself baHx.. Self-entertainment?
Tml SWT audition results out ler.. hmm.. let god decide everyting bahx.. * SmiLeXxX* Take caRex~ God bless.. NiteXxXxxx~~~
2 mOrE daEz... Goodbye "Xiaomeimei". Wo zhang da le...
One step closer to u..... wait for mi......

fengqi

2004-08-15T21:06:00.000+08:00

<--------- F e n g Q i --------->

Sorry guyz.. dis entry is gonna be sooper long.. paisehx~ But I'll try to keep it as short as possible k? Can see u all bu nai fan le.. If realli dun wan den dun read bahx.. bu mian qiang.. -_______-"
Dis morning.. went to queue for fengqi daRx auto sess.. I was actually one of da first 8 ppl in da queue sia.. Dat pays off to go earlie marx..Yayy~
Den queue all da way until 2 plus.. Fengqi finally came ler!! He wore a black long sleeve button up blouse n jeans.. Wahh chao shuai de lehx!! When Fengqi came out da tym, I reali very happy. Cuz so long neva see him le. Miss him lyk siao lorhx... He sang LOVE n zi tan zi chang "Hui dao guo qu".. when he sing da tym I nearly cried.. maybe I did...
O yar.. when Fengqi singing "hui dao guo qu" da tym.. My tap went loose... So touched.. Da other tym when heard watched Fengqi sing "Qing Tian " da tym oso liddat.. Haish.. he sing jay's songs all v nice de..
After dat when signing da tym.. I asked Fengqi " Fengqi, ni hai ji de wo ma?" Den he sae " Ji de.." He smile until sooo......!! N da way he looks at mi... wahh.. I nearly melted man.. REALLY.. I din even dare to look at him leh.. V shy... Den I sae " Fengqi Happy Besday.." oopz.. tink I too jing zhang le bahx.. besday? The taiwan way of pronounicing birthday..haha.. tok in English sumore.. but nvm.. Qiqi can understand~
His yan shen is sooooo...!! -faintz- N his smile.... AHHHHHHHHH~ Shou bu liao le la!! He juz keep on staring at mi.. smiling... even after I sae finish.. or when Im not tokin.. he still continue looking.. make mi so paiseh.. dunno where to look.. He evertym oso liddat de.. Is he liddat to everyone...? Or........ Hmmm..
Den I pass to him my letter, n I saw him look at it.. da other tym at KBOX dere.. when I pass to him da tym, he opened da envelope rite on da spot lor.. At da airport dere oso liddat de, after he receive letters den will immediately open n read de.. Da way he reads da letter.. Shoooo shuai manz.... Argh......
When goin off da stage da tym, wo beng kui le. Dis was da second tym I kuu after an auto sess le.. First tym is wei le renfu.. N its been long since i realli cried le.. everytym is onli feel lyk cryin de.. but neva cry... Haishh.. todae tap went loose le.. juz cant turn it off.. den jieS told mi " zhilin dun cry le, lata renfu xin tong cum find fengqi suan zhang leh" Dotx... thanx jieS for da kind thought.
After dat take cab chiong to da "super bowl" tingie.. He was sooooo close to mi juz now lorhx.. Our ju li is onli arnd 10cm liddat lorhx.. or maybe less den dat...Hee~ Used to it le lar.. He is so friendly.. not lyk a ou xiang liddat.. at least he doent feel lyk one to mi.. dat makes mi realli luv him lorhx.. n not chong bai or wad.. haha.. HE SHO CUTE! When he miss da shot da tym, he pretend to cry.. Everytym he do dat da tym I realli feel lyk hugging him manz.. hahaa..Realli got da temptation to go kidnap him manz.. LOL~ Jkjk~ Haha... den when he getting da bowling ball da tym, I faster lean close to him n ask Aishah help mi faster take pic of mi n him.. heeX~ I dun dare tell fengqi dat I wanna take pic wif him.. den when he saw mi suddenly lean so close, he turned to look at mi. SO CUTE! I saw it frm da corner of my eye.. hahaz.. den when he finally realised dat I wanna take pic wif him.. he leaned close n smiled to da cam~ Hao xing fu ohh~! =)
GUESS HU I SAW OVER DERE?? Lolz.. ALLOYSIUS~ Dot dot dotx... Den I was lyk StUnNeD? Fancy meetin an AHS ppl dere.. I practically stared at him.. dunno if he found mi familiar or wad, he looked baq at mi too.. hahaz. i probably appeared to look lyk sum kinda idiot to him juz now bahx.. stare until liddat.. diaozz~
Haiyoh... Fengqi v playful.. play until fall down.. wahh i sho xin tong leh! Den he v pain.. Dar daR so poor ting.. wanted to rub his knee cap for him.. but.. haiz. Felt da pain for him.. After dat I go ask him a v stoopid qn? " Fengqi, tong ma?" Den he sae " TONG.. hao tong!" WAHHH~ Mi xin even more tong lehh!! I saw him lookin at mi quite a few tymz too.. he alwaez liddat de.. duno y.. hahas. After dat Yulin (Ufm DJ) ask him, wad is da diff between da singapore fans n his LA fans.. den he sae " Singapore de ge mi dou hen piao liang. Ye hen ke ai" WAHAHAHA. Dang ran lo~ =P
Datz wad mama said to mi da other tym oso.. she tell mi sae singapore fans all v pretty.. haha.. Good good~ So dun forget to choose ur future daughter-in-law frm singaproe k.. =P
After dat when da whole ting end da tym, I asked Fengqi " Fengqi, ni you shou dao wo gei ni de qiao ge li ma?" Obviously he did, but i still asked. Den he said " you ah.. hen hao chi..." ERMX... I gave him onli lehx.. how cud he haf probably eaten it sho fast..... I noe dat he surely juz sayin dat to make mi happy de.. I suppose? Dan hai shi yao xie xie ni pian le wo..
After he left, we went to da hotel dere to wait.. Met a few other stars.. got 2R.. zhang jing xuan.. N 1 English band.. haha.. Dey quite shuai lar.. but too bad Im not interested~ heeX~
After dat wait for half an hour den Fengqi came out again.. tink he went to eat bahx.. den i shout to him shen ri kuai le.. N he said thakeW~ -faintz-
Okies~ I'll end here le bahx.. Tink dis entry is sooper long baH.. U shud haf seen da original entry.. U wud vomit blood de.. hahaz.. I delete alot of parts den bcum liddat de lorhx..
Haish~ hope fengqi realli remembers mi... O manz.. cant wait to see da pic dat I took wif fengqi man.. Yayy! Finally got my wish le!!! Ehh.. He promised to take wif mi again after bowling de.. hmpf~ huai huai~~!!
Wo yi jing xia ding jue xin le.. frm tml onwards, muz zuan xin du shu.. muz not disappoint my fufu n qiqi.. Den kao dao hao cheng ji.. at da end of da yr go taiwan find dem.. heeX~ mommie.. u betta not break ur promise hor.. =X haha.. WJ dun seem to believe mi man.. its not crap lorh.. Im realli goin to taiwan alone.... yeppz. Dis shows u all how great da power of luv can be... DOTX~ Datz all. I love Fengqi. Yeppz. Byeee~
Fengqi...
Xie xie ni... Zai ci rang wo gan jue dao yi xia zi de xing fu..... Ni kan wo de yan shen... Yu ni dui wo xiao de yang zi.... wo hui yong yuan... yong yuan... ji zhu de... Ni yi ding yao xing fu ohh.... Deng wo.....
Wo ai ni........

Da gurL in da mirror

2004-08-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

There's a girl in the mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did
There's a story in her eyes
Lullabies and goodbyes
When she's looking back at me
I can tell her heart is broken easily

Cause the girl in my mirror
Is crying out tonight
And there's nothing I can tell her
To make her feel alright
Oh the girl in my mirror
Is crying cause of you
And I wish there was something
Something I could do

If I could I would tell her
Not to be afraid
The pain that she's feeling
The sense of loneliness will fade
So dry your tears and rest assured
Love will find you like before
When she's looking back at me
I know nothing really works that easily

Cause the girl in my mirror
Is crying out tonight
And there's nothing I can tell her
Oh the girl in my mirror
Is crying cause of you
And I wish there was something
I wish there was something
Oh I wish there was something I could do

I can't believe it's what I see
That the girl in the mirror
The girl in the mirror is me
I can't believe what I see
No....The girl in my mirror
The girl in my mirror is me
Ohh...is me

Cause the girl in my mirror
Is crying out tonight
And there's nothing I can tell her
To make her feel alright
Oh the girl in my mirror
Is crying cause of you
I wish there was something
I wish there was something
Oh I wish there was something I could do

Hmmmmmms. Dun U tink dis simply rawkz..,..?!

Guess it totally suits mi mood n life bahx.. Maybe dis song was written for mi?

Dotx... Haish.. Very late le.. Tml still muz crawl up at 5am manz.. cuz goin to IMM dere to queue earlie in da mornin.. den it's at Jurong East.. Beri near huh? Juz need ONLY TWO hours to reach dere de lar.. VERY FAST de hoR... -faints-

I realli v scared cant see Fengqi lehx.. Haf dis feelin dat wun be able to see him tml.. HOW... I got sho mani tings wanna tell him n ask him.. N I miss him lyk siao lo... Realli wanna see him.. Argh~ It's been TWO months since I last saw him le.. Wow~ So long.. N now he's BACK.. but till now, I've not even seen him for even ONE pathetic tym yet.. Sarkz lorx.. haish.. Den my camera spoil at dis kinda guan jian shi ke.. Wahh sho qi lorhx!! Aiyarsh~ fan si le lar.. mi go suffocate myself under da blanket le lar.. muz force myself to go slp NOW! If not.. tml no need to tink of seeing dar darx le.. Zhilin JIAYOU!! Dotx.......Tml dun tink will cum online le.. see how bahx.. maybe after see fengqi straight away go jump off da building ler.. God bless.. Hope everyting wud be successful tml.. please..Oh wells.. xin qing bu hao again.. Mi shall break mY record todae.. of sumting.. dat I shall not sae.. in case he's readin dis. Den tings wud be too obvious. Dun wanna court death.. dotx..

Wahahaha... I din haf a chance to do it.. Yeppz.. guess dis was god's arrangement bahx.. dat I was meant to..... hmmms. Nvm. Guess I din regret after all. Shall not break dat record. Great. Hold on dear.

So... nvm den~ Luv ya... Nitex~~

PS: If miz mi den sms mi kkz..? Haha.. bhb sia~ Byeeeeeeeee lo!

Farnie...

2004-08-14T17:50:00.000+08:00

Todae D&T Test.. I onli started studyin THIS MORNING..? Whoas~ Yesterdae.. too tired leR.. Haiz.. expected dis to happen.. alwaez liddat de.. *Sigh*
Da test was...... ermx.... Quite difficult.. My answers all craPpP~ =X Den da orthographic drawing was quite complicated larsH.. I oso anyhow draw de.. My ruler hor.. wahh.. da shape v abnormal de.. den beri hard to draw lines.. all da lines all shoOt out de lorhx.. Den halfway, pencil no lead.. Den went to borrow lead. Draw draw draw~~ Realised draw wrongly ler.. den wanted to erase.. BUT.. my eraser was AT HOME! WARGH~ You gou dao mei le hao bu hao~ Felt lyk screamin lorhz!! Hahaa.. Didnt pack pencilbox laz nyt marx.. horrible horrible... =P
Den after test.. go SeowJin house wif Jun & SeowJin.. Errs.. Realised Im not tokin logic at all manx.. go seowjin house of cuz go wif her lar.. wahh diaoz..
Den we did lotsa craPpp stuff larsh.. But it was fun..ny.. hahaz. FUNNY~ Everyting we do oso wud luff de.. dunno Y.. We siao de larsh~ Dotxx... SCV RAWKZ~ I wann!! -.-
JUN!! U ah... make mi hair lyk dunno wad kinda seeweed now.. lolz.. Nxt tym u boliao dun cum plae mi hair le larsh.. Sho innocent~ U make my hair look as though I've juz came out from some Iraq war liddat.. LOL. U n SJ had a beri nice time laughing ur heads off sia... Haiz.. poor mi.. Guinea pigg~ hahaz..
Okies.. so mani tings happened in between.. but skipp larsh~ * FAST FORWARD*
Okies. Den after dat I went home le lorx.. cuz lata still haf tuition marx.. Den at SJ house downstairs dere.. GUESS WAD WE SAW??!! Wahahaahahah~
TOILET BOWL!!! In da middle of NOWHERE sia~~ Sumore is at da grass dere.. under da flats.. wah piangx.. Dun tell mi sumone threw their house toilet bowl down?? LOL LOL~~ Or issit dey lazy to build toilet.. so juz dump da toilet bowl dere for ppl to use?? DOTX~
Haish.. I v sad.. wif myself? Nowadaez.. my whole life seems to be abt cumin online onli.. N all abt him.. U see.. Todae suppose to go to see fengqi darx de.. but I din go.. AHHH! Dun care le lar! Tml no matter wad muz go see him! If not I'll hate myself for life man.. But.. Its sooooooo far awae!! At Jurong East dere lehx!! Can die sia~ ONE HOUR PLUS journey lehh! Da thought of it already wanna faint ler larX.. Sumore muz wake up at abt 4am.. AiyaRsh~ Sacrifice zhe me yi dian dian for DarX oso wu suo wei de larx.. Zhi yao neng gou kan dao ta, wo shen me dou yuan yi.. :)) heheee~
Hmmms. Tryin to keep todae's entry shorT n sweet..? HarX.. Happie?
Goin to haf tuition le.. Haish.. SiaNz~ Lol.. Okae Larsh.. muz not slack leR! Wud be baq after dinna baHx.. wait for mi horx.. lolz..
Ohhx! Its onli 4 daez.. Din realise it.. Lemme grow UPPP QuicKkK!! =X

sigh

2004-08-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

Haizz.. Though todae dun feel as depressed as da other daez.. but.. I still dun feel good..
Yes. Ben Dan is one of da reasons.. Okies. Shall not tok abt him...
Da other reason ish... my RESULTS! ARGH~ Shuckx.. Cant afford to fail another subject ler larsh.... Sho angry wif myself lorhx.. alwaez in skool, neva ting ke de.. whole dae tinking abt sum idiot.. den at home ne.. wahh.. frm da minute i reach home.. immediately ish chiong to com leRx.. Den wud be stuck rite in front of da com screen all da way till 12am liddat.. Zhe you he bi ne.. hai bu shi wei le na ge ben dan.. ARGH~
I mean it's lyk.. I dun see da point of goin to skool.. with 5566.. WHO NEEDS SKOOL?? Wahaha~ Yea yea.. if got no skool.. jiu cannot see ben dan le.. ArBiSh~
Tml got D&T common test.. N guess wad? I noe NOTHING abt D&T.. as well as all da other subz.. haish.. Im HoPeLeSs.. Sumbody knocK sum sense ino mi plz.. N instead of pia-ing lyk siao now.. here I m.. ONLINE AgAiN!! N typing dis entRy.. O manx..
WAD AM I DOING?!
I already promised myself dunno how many tymz ler dat I wun cum online ANYMORE~ But... U see u see!! Broke my promise agaiN.. I haf expected dis to happen ler larsh~ Asked SJ to motivate mi juz now.. den she sae.. " Go study now! If not renfu wud not love u anymore!" LOL. At dat moment, I nearly wanted to go take a scissors n cut off da com wiRe manx.. harhasH~ Guess Renfu is da onli ting dat can motivate mi baHx.. Fine fine. I shall listen to no one except my daR darX Renfuuu!! - Winks -
Nvm nvm.. I feel sho mao dun now.. shud I juz cover mi eyes n reach for da switch n shut da whole friggin com down.. oR..Hmmmm..?? Haish.. GREAT~ I've came out wif a zhilin-tell-u-wad- theorY dat hopefully may make mi feel betta.. lolx..
The more u learn, the more u know. The more u know, the more u forget. The more u forget, the less u know. SO WHY STUDY? Yea babieee...
Lolz.. It didnt help..! I still feel equally guilty..
AIYARSH~ Can sumone juz fly to my house now n kidnap my com awae for goodness sake.. I cant bear to off it.. not to mention click da sign out button.. Eeeeekz. Im so terrible..
5 moRe daez.. Actuallie nuting to look forward to bout it larsh.. juz wondering if god wud gimme renfu for my prezzie..? HarharsH.. -prays hard-
KonG Mi head plz.. I'm dreamin of da impossible again.. =XxX
Hmmms.. nowadaez alwaez v tired lehx.. actuallie its not "nowadaez" larsh.. it's been lyk almoz a mth ler bahx.. yeppz.. U shud noe Y.. hehhx. dun wan sae ler la.. Wonder how m I gonna study D&T lata manx.. Sarkz..
I HATE D&T!!! WARGH~ todae juz kenna scolded by dat AH KWANG again arhx.. stoopid stoopid stoopid~ Cuz I haven pass up da Design Folio marx.. den he cum sae mi.. sae I cant be bothered.. blaHhh~ Den sae wad " U dont know how serious the consequences can be! Last time, there was this boy from sports class that had to be transffered out bcos of his results...." Wah diaozz.. Nearly exploded lorhx.. Keep on chanting on mi.. not lyk as if is i dun wanna do de ryt? My printer got prob how he expect mi to do? Den save in diskette gif him he oso dun wan.. Grrr~ Aniwaez, tokin abt sports class.. hahaz. Joel's gettin so fed up over it now.. cuz heard dat dis yr sports class can stay together as a sec 3 class.. Wahh~ Stoopid Mei Hsiong larsh.. So friggin unfair lorhx.. Wo ti 2H'03 da bao bu ping lorhx.. datz so unfair to dem manx... Haish.. But wad to do.. Relac k........ *SmiLeXxxX*
FengQi HanEeeY cum leRx.. He goin for da fireworks concert on sundae.. den still got auto sess n otehr promos.. Haish~ So happie he's back.. but.. He feels so faraway noW.. I dun lyk dis kinda feelin.. realli. Hope he still remembers mi baHx.. Lolx... =PpP
K larsh.. stop here le baHx.. Realised dis entry beRi LONG sia.. Everyone see le surely all cant be bothered to read sia.. U seee... WJ see le dun wan read le.. hahaz.. Cant blame mi foR bloggin sho long maRx.. HeheeZ~ MmMmm...Den tml everybody still got test.. Jia you horx!! Dun do as badly as mi can leRx.. -______-"
Ah dotx.. Can see OrangEy OrangeY tingie blinking lyk mad leRx.. Cock-eYe~ Kk larsh... go chattt leRx.. Hahaz.. Lata WJ get fed up. lolx.. mi sho lag sia.. I noe.. Paisehhh~ =)
Heez.. C yaaa~ Take CarEx~~~~ Byeeeeeeeee!!

he tricked mi

2004-08-12T16:56:00.000+08:00

No. There's nothing wrong with ur com. Dun go adjust da colour system. I deliberately blogged in dis colour. Cos.. Actually.. it wasnt meant to be seen. I juz wanna type everything dat is bottled up inside mi.. Hoping dat I wud feel betta? Yeppz.. ignore mi.. Sorry... N please dun go highlight da words... promise...

Haishh.. Y everydae alwaez muz haf sth happen to bring my mood down de.. Cant I juz be happie for a dae? My life is sad... ruined... meaningless...
Love is the cause of everything.
Y muz I lyk him in da first place? Alwaez falling in luv wif da wrong ppl.. N alwaez end up gettin hurt.
Yea manx.. Im a jealous piGgy. I cant stand myself.. Ai qing shi zi si de.. so I cant be blamed. rite?
I shudnt fall in luv wif guyz dat are :
1) Too good-looking
2) Alot of ppl like de
3) Already like someone, or going to?
4) Go for looks only. **
5) Treat every girl so nice n make dem harbour false hopes...

Hmmms.. does dis apply to u? HarX~ Betta not..
N as for him...... AHHHH. I hate da fact dat he fit in EVERY category.. I suppose? I dunno abt da 4th one.. I feel dat I dun realli understand him.. In fact, I really dont. And, I realli hate guyz dat juz go for looks de.. Dey r so shallow.. Argh~
I hate to admit it but... I feel very nan shou when I know that he is talking to other girls. I dont feel special or needed anymore. Even so, I dont think I am in the first place, right?
And, the thought of so many other girls also like him too, I feel so.... I dont know how to describe that kinda feeling... Erm... Scared.... worried...? Argh~ I hate myself. Do I even stand a chance in the first place? I hate to ask myself that question.. But it's just a horrible fast that I hafta face. Everyday my mood is so ruined bcos of all the little little things abt him. I noe dey r v stoopid tings to be depressed abt. I've tried not to tink abt him many many times before. But if I have suceeded, I wouldnt be here typing dis entry now.
I dun lyk da way everything ish.. Y issit dat da ppl around mi r alwaez sho xing fu.. while I... alwaez dreaming of da impossible.
Maybe I shud juz give up...?
Or shud I hold on... ?
But from da way tings are now, it seems dat it's not up to mi to decide anymore. My hart has completely got control over mi. N it ish grabbing on to him so tightly dat I feel da pain..
Nowadaez, when i tok to u.. I dunno wad to feel.. I m supposed to feel happy dat I m tokin to u.. but y isnt dat wad Im feeling.. Maybe its bcoz da cruel fact has been made so clear to mi le.. I noe it. N I wud face it. So I shall try not to harbour anymore false hopes n try to let go slowly.. bit by bit...
Wahh. Dat despo.. Bugging mi again.. Since P6 until now. Shud I block him? Im getting real disgusted lorhx.. Ediot.. THREE years le lehx.. Since he went into VS den bcum lyk sho damn despo liddat sia.. now he's begging mi to be his stead again. Im so tired of repeating myself again n again! N da absurd ting is dat, he says he wants to PAY me to be his stead.. WAHPIANGZ. -Bangs head on da wall- Get a life manx.. fine. I decided le. I m blocking him. Great. Peace at last!

I already gou fan le lorhx.. Ben dan.. Wo mei yong qi rang ni zhi dao.. dan que you hao xiang gen ni shuo.. wo gai zen me ban...
Eva since I've fallen in luv wif ben dan.. I realised I've changed alot.. So shocked man... last time I wun wei le any guy cum online de lorhx.. but now.. Neglect my studies n whole dae yi dao jia jiu yi zhi sit beside da com until midnight.. N even when i go see 5566 da tym, ye zai xiang ta.. xing bu zai yan.. Den wan to cum home go online.. I m out of my mind. Froget it. Shall not say any further. Lata shuo liu le zui den I wan dan le.. Muz not eva let him noe.. Yeppz.

WAH!!! Nearly got hart attack manx.. Wait.. mi go cool down first.. bye.
Y e s I m a F o o L
T r i c k e d

sianz..

2004-08-11T20:23:00.000+08:00

AHHHHH~ Was typing todae's entry half way den got DC!!
Wahhh. Alwaez liddat de..
Aniwaez.. tml got science common test.. Mi gonna die manx.. Alwaez lesson tym mi neva ting ke de.. Whole dae tinking abt sum idiot n day dreamin.. haish.. Den now instead of pia-ing.. Mi wei le ta cum online lorx.. Aiyeee. Stoopid me.
Wahhh.. D&T ish driving mi mad manx.. hate it neHx~ Sumbody help.. I m seriously laggingggg sho much behind!! Whoas~ My life is in a meSs...
Ehhh... I sho sianz.. Dunno wad to tokk abt... Alwaez mi initiating everyting de.. Dun feel lyk tokin ler larsh.. Haish~
Talk lehh... Im dying... Talk.. talk.. talk... =X
Yayys~ Lata got my DARX concert on channel 8!!! But V late lehx.. 10:45.. until 12:15am sumore.. tml got test neHx.. HOW? Haish.. dun care larsh.. Darx more impt.. hoho~
Wahh... Until now WJ still doesnt noe hu i m woR.. pro sia.. hahaz.. 2 weeKs plus ler lehx.. =P
Nvm... nvm... ^_^
ARGH~ Everyone all not tokin de..!! Alwaez liddat.. tired of initiating ler larsh!! Hmpf~
Wo sheng qi le... ZAI JIAN!
Hao nan shou.... Suddenly feel lyk a rotten apple again.. Maybe I just am one. Yeppz. Feel lyk juz shutting da com n shut my mind off him. Hao fan...
U dun understand. N I cant do anyting to make u understand. So mani tings bottled up in my hart.. how I wish I cud tell u. But I cant.

~*~ 7 moRe daEz~*~ Turnin 14...

feel betta

2004-08-10T18:46:00.000+08:00

F e e L i n g B e t t a

HeeXxX.... Feel sHo mucH betta noW~ *SmiLeXxX*
SoRRie aRhx... If I sound Bu nai fan juz now or din tok mucH~ I guess I'm Okae Ler bahx...
Aniwaez.. Did u guyz realise dat it's 8 moRe daEz to..... wahahahaz. Neber mind. I not dat BHB de~ LOLZ. Ben lai jiu shi ma.. DotXieS..
Tml got da Fireworks Concert shown on Channel 8 at 10:45pm lehx.. Sho late neHx.. But will stay up to watch no matter wad de.. KekeX~ Hope deY diN cut off da part where Gino sae abt mi n aishah de.. lolzz~
Hmmmms. Tml is wednesdae.. Got PE~ Hafta do Inclined pull ups n shuttle run for NAFA~ Mi scared lehx.. Esp for pull ups.. Nvm.. Tink oF Renfu DaRx jiu hui you poWeR leR.. hahaz. As for u guyx.. Tink of ME surely will haf lotsa eNeRgY de woR~~ Ah dotx...
Hmmmms. Wanna share wif u all a story dat touched mi... HeRe goes...

A girl and guy were speeding over 120km/hr on the road..
Girl: Slow down! I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on? Its buggin me.

In the paper the next day.... :
A motorcycle had crashed into a building becauseof break failure. Two people were on it but only one survived.The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

Gosh... Shooo toucHinG... HaisH~ Okies larsh.. Kuzzin wanna use com leR.. C ya guyz.. *HugXx*

airport

2004-08-10T15:00:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!
Dun tok to mi now. I m sho darned pissed manx.. Y r tings dis way.... It isnt wad's supposed to be.... Disappointed. Totally.
Di yi ci wei le ta men er na me shen gi.. Frm 7am to 2pm... It's been hell for us. N it juz isnt fair! Idiot Simon.. muz be ta gao de gui..
Dis 3 daez... Has been all abt dem.. Wo fu chu le na me duo.. but wad do i get in return..
Saturday - Jie Ji
Sunday - Fireworks concert > 15h
Monday- ChinaBlack
Tuesday- FORGET IT.
U r drifting further n further away from me. I dont want this to happen...
NO. I m not gonna tok abt wad happened. Cuz it totally sucks. Not gonna tink abt it anymore. But I cant.
Hao shi wang.. zhen de...
3 more mths...
Din get to see u for da last tym.
Why.......
U passed by.. didnt u.. Y go...
I did not get to sae da tings i wanted to sae.
Da pouch... da letters..... R still wif mi..... Dey were meant to be in ur hands.
I shall sae da words dat r left unspoken.
Sheng ri kuai le. Ni yi ding yao xing fu.
Dun tink abt it ler.. Believe dat dere's still hope. In a few mths tym.. u can go find him. N say everyting dat was left unspoken. N do everyting dat was left undone.
Dis entry wasnt meant to be understood. Was juz meant to make mi feel betta. Cuz I'm realli gonna beng kui if I continue bottling everyting up... Guess I feel 0.56% betta ler bahx.. As for da other 99.44% ... I....... dont know. Let time heal the wound.
I miss da past. I hate da present.
U changed. Everyting has changed. Things just aren't da same anymore.
Ni bu ming bai...
My life is so messed up.

Btw... juz now at _____ saw Linda.. whereva dere's ____, will haf her de.. so qiao.. Den onli mi n my other 2 frenz saw her.. so we ran up to her n shake handz.. she v friendly.. N her make up quite thick. But she's v pretty, N I told her dat.. Luv her manx.. When her car left she turned baq to wave goodbye to us.. She's sho nice.. But v poor ting.. got no fans at all.. I realli wonder y.. Tot wud haf MANY ppl lyk her de.. But no.. Nvm. She has me~
Linda, Wo ting ni! Jia you..
OH MY GOD!! How cud I haf forgotten dat now got WAN YU!!! AHHHHHHHH!! KOne!! LiYang!! SHUAI!! Mi go watch leRx.
Shuckx.. Forgotten dat Wan Yu wud remind mi of sum1 dat I dun wanna tink abt...... He's stuck on my mind again.. ARGH~ 4get it. He's not to be blamed. Yao guai jiu guai na ge Chou SIMON. Cant Qiao Jie Li juz sack him.. Worse den dat Sun Zong manx.. Ediot larsh. Hate u to da core, on behalf of da other 5566 fans. Bye.

Fireworkz Concert

2004-08-10T12:30:00.000+08:00

Oh mi gosh.. Its been TWO daez since I've blogged manx.. hahaz. Did u guyz miss mi?? LOL..
Sho mani tings to blog abt!! So dun be frightened by da length of dis entry kz.. Paisehx lo~ Btw, HAPPIE NATIONAL DAY~~~ WHOOHOO~ Happie b'dae Singapore!! Muackzz~
AHHHHHHH!! HOW CUM 5566 NEVA APPEAR TO SING "YING WEI AI" DURING NDP??!! Its a good ting though. Dun wanna waste anymore tears ler. . Dotx... Btw, Singapore Idol ROCKS manx.. Da HongKong guy ish sho poor ting manx.. But oso v comical larsh.. Wahh mi luff until stomach pain.. so mani contestants V v farnie de.. Got 1 guy SING & DANCE " Lemon Tree"! WAH DIAOZZ!! I nearly fell down my chair manx.. Is he tryin to be da 2nd William HONG?? Lolz.. Datz how he pronounced it.. okka. I shant be sho mean lers.. Dun laught ler larx.. Actually, dey r already winners for havin da courage to go n give it a try le..
* SmileXxX*
Wahh.. Mi v qi lehx.. Juz now type dis entry for almoz an hr den com got dc n da whole ting DISAPPEARED! *Poof*..
Da thought of having to retype EVERYTHING again makes mi wanna crash mi com manx.. ARGH~ Aniwaez... Yesterdae was da fireworks concert.. N it simply RAWKZ loR.. Got 5566, KOne, R&B, Toro, Cyndi, Taiji, Yan Xing shu.. Da whole Qiao Jie Li wor!! Mi broke my queueing record manx.. New Record: FIFTEEN hours!! Wow~ I noe datz not sth to be proud of.. In fact, I admit dat I m mad. Dat was one of my WORST queueing experince ever manx.. Got sho mani smal small chao ji er xin de insects de.. N da place was sho dirty... N it was so FAR away lor.. After alighting frm city hall muz walk arnd half an hr to reach da place.. N i was LOST lor! Had a hard tym finding dat place.. But lucky mi smart enuf.. Wahahahaz~ -.-
Da rehearsel started at arnd 2 plus bahx.. We all squeezed at da side dere to watch.. N it was conjested wif trees lor.. had to stand under a tree to watch.. V xing ku lor.. Den got lots of spiders n big big ants droppin frm da trees. Eeeekz!! Make mi keep on screamin.. lolz.Mi kept on feelin lyk got sum hairy hairy ting on mi liddat.. den tot is spider or wad.. in da end.. da ppl at da side called mi n said" Ehh.. be careful of da man standing beside u. He kept on trying to touch u. N he is getting closer n closer to u le" Wahpiangx.. I oso sensed dat sth was wrong lorhx.. cuz when i turned baq da tym, saw da guy lyk wan to do sth de, but bcuz i saw, den he pretend to pluck leaf.. At first i still dunno de, still smile at him sia.. Wah.. i m sho disgusted!! Y alwaez meet dis kinda pervertic creepx de arhx.. =X
RenFu v cute nehx.. When ppl rehearsing da tym he took da video camera n keep of filming dem.. den da way he film v cute!!
Den toro arh.. rehearse until half way den sae " Wo chang le na me duo shou ge hou, fa xian le yi jian fei chang zhong yao de shi qing" Den i was lyk tinking " wad ting??" Den he say" Yuan lai wo de la lian mei la.." Gosh~ He sho cute sia!! hahazz..
As for R&B.. I saw da 2 new members le.. 1 of dem quite shuai larsh.. Anthony.. But dey still can neva eva replace AJ n MengRu de lor.. Grrrr~ Gimme baq my AJ n MengRu arhx!!
Wait wait wait all da way till 9pm.. Da concert is supposed to start at 9 de lorhx.. But dey drag until 9:30.. Da fireworks sooo beautiful manx.. First tym see fireworks sho near de.. Juz let beside us lehx..Kool rite?! R&B was da first to perform.. Their dancing improve alot ler.. Xiaowei new hairstyle v shuai.. Zaizai bcum prettier ler.. HuaiEn bcum much shuai-er too!!
Den Toro SHUAI dai ler larsh.. He looked sho different.. Realli realli luv him manx.. When he sing "Wang Le Ai" da tym nearly cried. V sad~ Plus da Mv.. wahsehx.. Xue Tian Shi.. All da chao sad parts.. N got he n XueTong kiss de.. ='(
First tym see Yan Xing Shu woR.. He real person more shuai den in TV larsh.. hehex.. His bball RAWKZ manx.. Hao bang woR~Cyndi lyk princess liddat. V pretty~ Den when she sing "Dang Ni" da tym sing wrongly. She start too early ler. hahaz.. Den got dis new band called TaiJi.. Whoa~ Not v interested.. hahazz. muz control myself ler larsh.. Falling in luv wif too mani ppl ler.. wahahaz. =P Den KOne.. LIYANG~~ AHHHHH!! Shuai!! Heex. Mi kept on shouting his name.. Den when Gino tokin halfway da tym, he said " Ehh.. ni men ke bu ke yi ting wo jiang wan ah.. bu yao yi zhi han LIYANG LIYANG.." LOLZ. Dat was reffering to mi n aishah woR..!! YEA MANX. Gino saw us... Hahaz.. If Gino heard us ler.. wonder if Liyang got hear nortz.. Hope sho bahx.. hahaz..
FINALLY... At 11:30... 5566 came out ler!! Whoooooooohooooooooooo~ Sho HiGh manx! Screamed RenFu lyk siaoz.. Dey dance "Easy Come Easy Go" v v v shuai!! -faintz- Renfu kept on smiling n waving.. sho nice~ he got wave to mi woR.. =) At da last part, we counted down to National Day.. Den got alot of "explosions" frm da stage dere. I nearly died of hart attack lehx.. lolz..After dat, da whole Qiao Jie Li sing "Ying Wei Ai".. I realli luv dat song manx.. Realli feel v touched when dey sing dis song.. See Renfu ler wan to cry manx.. But I tell myself muz REN!! How I wish I can be part of da Qiao Jie Li family... Nvm~ Another 3 more yrs bax.. JiaYou~!
Juz now went to ChinaBlack for da 5566 M1 PRIVATE gathering.. Last min got da tix de..So happie manx.. Den took cab n flew all da way dere.. Guess wad.. Da gathering was held in a PUB manx.. whoa~ First tym in my life step into pub neHx~ All my FIRST tymz r all bcuz of....5566...When step inside dere da tym felt lyk fainting manx.. It was v dark.. plus I din eat yesterdae de Breakfast + Lunch + Dinna, plus todae's Breakfast+ Lunch... So.. hahaz.. Can imagine marx.. No energy at all.. sho weakk..But i hold on.. for da sake of 5566. N my Renfu darx.By right, it was supposed to be a PRIVATE gathering.. N onli 200 fans were supposed to be present. But... got almoz 1000 fans lehx!! NOT FAIR lorhx.. Dey cheat us.. Plus.. it's supposed to be THREE hrs de.. But NO.. It was onli for a pathetic TWENTY FIVE min!!!! Argh~! Onli saw 5566 sing 3 songz lorhx.. N had to see dem smile n tok to other fans.. while i can onli stand frm far n do nothing.. cuz i not dat lucky.. got da VIP tix marx..
Grrrrrr~ Until now still haf not managed to pass da letter n pouch to Fufu manx.. All mi hard work n effort... So disappointed...... Tml dey goin baq ler.. Sure kuu at airport de.. No matter wad yi ding yao pass my stuff to renfu.. if not i will kill myself manx..ARGH~ Enuf of 5566 lerx.. make mi feel sho hart pain.. But.. everytign dat happened is all sho hart breakin de lorhx..
U see.. Mi din manage to go to Awei n Weibo concert lehx.. N my fren actually had 2 extra tix but din gif to mi.. cuz she din noe my number!! WARGH~ -bangs head on wall- SO WASTED LOR!! U noe how badly i wanted to go for da concert... Awei n Weibo darx cried at da concert........ ='(
I wasnt dere to share those precious moments wif dem... gosh...Den oso got sum lucky fans got to go up da stage n hug dem.. when Weibo singing " Kiss me 123" da tym.. he actually KISSED n HUGGED da fan manx!! -SQUEALS- If I were dere, tink i may haf killed myself on da spot manx... I feel I haf missed out so mani tings.. sadz.. Shanwei cum gfor sho mani daez ler.. but i haf not even see him for a single tym.. Weibo oso.. Such a failure manx.. Den at awei auto sess da tym, when his fans stretch out their hands wan to hug him d atym, he will hug baq de!! AHHHHHHHHH!! N I actually missed dat RARE chance again!! So mani of my frenz got to hug him lorhx! Except ME! Wahhh.. Kill mi manz.. Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Gou le.. Goin crazeee leR.. U all may tink i m v MAD.. fine. Ni men shi bu hui ming bai de. Zhi you wo cai hui ming bai.....Ming tian ta men jiu yao zou le.. Dey will onli be baq in December.. which is FOUR more mths frm now.. Gawd~ How m I goin to survive dis 4 mths without dem.. Esp Renfu.. I wud miss him lyk siaoz de! = ( Until now still not sure of their flight yet.. how to go song ji tml.. Die larsh...Fengqi darx cumin nxt wk ler.. N all his events oso need TIX de.. Mi dun haf.. Gonna miss out sho mani freakin tings again.. Dun feel lyk living ler larsh.. GREAT. Everyting is juz so WONDERFUL. Yea right... Haish.. Sorrie for dis sooper long entry. Got too mani tings to blog abt ler. I shall stop here den. Tml still muz wake up sooper EARLY!! Eyes cant hold any longer leRx.. C yaaa. Nitex.
He is still not online. Haf not toked to him for 2 daez ler.. feel sho terrible. Miss him loads. I'll continue waiting bahx.. Realised dat most of my life is spent on waiting.. perhaps I m juz meant to wait..
~*~ Wo bu yao shen ming zhong, mei you ni........~*~ /// Ying Wei Ai///
-RenFu- Toro- FengQi- Xiezhi- Mengzhe- Liyang- Xiaowei- BenDan-

late

2004-08-08T00:33:00.000+08:00

Hmmmmms. I seem to be da onli one left online.. Every1 all in dream-land leRx..
Haish.. tml still muz wake up damn earlie to go queue for da fireworks concert tingie.. queue frm 7am all da way till 9pm.. Lemme see.. dat will be abt 14 hrs.. WOW~~ FOURTEEN huh.. -Faintz- HELP~~~ Den end at abt 12am.. wah.. sho late.. guess I'll faint dere bahx.. Queue for da whole darn dae manx.. tink abt it ler already feel sho weak~ But.. no choice.. For da saKe of 5566 n all da other jungiery star de yi ren.. wo hui du yi kou qi de~~
Sooo...... guess u all wun get to see mi online tml bahx.. sadz~ I wanna cum online!! =X
Nvm larsh.. got more peace without mi.. hahaz.. Dun miss mi horx.. Xiang wo de hua, jiu sms mi kz.. LOLx...
Aniwaez, Those dat wanna go watch da concert oso.. can go de.. its FREE~ At marina promenade.. heeZ~
Aishhh~ Sho tired.. tink mi go catch sum slp ler bahx.. if not tml bcum PaNdA leRx.. Lata xia si Renfu sia.. hahaxXx~
C ya... remember.... bu yao xiang wo horX!! ^_^ Nitexxx.
---Sumbody, pull mi outta bed tomorrow---

quiz

2004-08-07T22:22:00.000+08:00

[*currently*]:

Time: 10:15
Eating: Nothing. But feelin quite hungry...
Drinking: Nothing.. But feel lyk gettin sth to drinkk~
Hearing: Xiang Ni De Tian Kong.. Eison..
Watching: Ermx..Is da com screen counted?
Wearing: Clothes. DuH~
Chatting wif: WeiJie, Joel juz went offline.
Feeling: Dunno. Mixed up.. maybe tired bahx
In love with: Renfu... FengQi.. BenDan..?
Excited for: Tml's fireworks concert.. 5566 ChinaBlack..

[*MoRe*]

Last cried: Few hrs ago bahx..
Over: Haish.. Dun wanna sae.. =X
Current thought: Tml how.. can queue wif aishah dey all maRx.. dun wanna queue alone..
Planning to sleep at: Dunno larsh.. Waitin for fone call.. faster call mi..
Feel like: Disappearing frm dis wurld.. SadxXx..
Worries: FengQi tix.. 5566 Chinablack.. Renfu... BenDan..Skool..Arghx.. *Stressed*
Wishes: RenFu daRx Xing Fu.. Family n frenz safe n happy.. As for mi.. Never mind..
Thinking of: RenFu... Yeppz. JUST him... Luv Renfu..
Wonderin: Y didnt Renfu take it juz now.. he saw mi... N did renfu appear at awei's concert now? How much haf i missed out frm da concert... o manx.. N y m i doin dis stoopid quiz?? Probably bcuz too boliao ler bahx.. =P
Currently: Running nose.. Bcuz of juz now..
Looking forward to: 18 August.. wanna faster turn 14... Aiyeee. ~*ToO YouNg*

Dedicated to all ppl out dere hu feel lyk breakin down... Including mYseLf...

You may not be happy on the inside, but you are strong enough to hide that fact from others around you.
Or you're strong enough not to let people who push you around get the satisfaction of seeing your tears.
I'm sure everyone has inner strength like this, so why not show the world you are a strong person.

So... hold on. N be strong. Dry up ur tears. Jia you.

renfu 5566

2004-08-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh... Why... why he liddat de...?
He didnt use to be liddat in da past... haf he changed?
Nopex.. I dun tink so.... I tink he has no choice bahx.. Yi ding shi zhe yang zi..

I juz reached home.. Juz now went to AiporK fetch Qiao jie li ppl...
Got 5566, R&B, KOne, Cyndi, 3T, Linda......
Got a shock when I saw Linda manx.. Din expect to see her de.. N dis was da FIRST tym I saw her!! I lyk her alot de.. She rawkz.. Since last yr noe her ler. She's so friendly.. =) She looked at mi n wave~ HeeX.. ^_^
Den when 5566 cum out every1 all started screamin lyk siao. I saw Xiezhi first.. V shuai~ lolx...

Den saw Renfu n I went crazeee. HE SAW ME. I wanted to pass to him de.. Ta ming ming kan dao.. but he didnt..... ARGH~
WANG REN FU. Wo hao shi wang. Darx.......

I onli saw Xiezhi, Renfu, KOne, Zaizai, Linda, JiaFeng.. Datz all baHx.. Cuz my eyes were practically glued onto renfu.. Din go look at other ppl..
Dey all took a Sooper big n tall bus lorhx.. wahhh~ Den dey close all da curtains! Onli cud see Xiezhi, Shaowei n JiaFeng.. Den dey got wave to us.. hahaxx.. But datz not wad I wan.. I WANT RENFU!!!
Den I went home ler lorhx.. Dey go hotel sho long de.. Da other tym dey Lay eggs in Hotel for 2 hrs.. make us wait over dere lyk Ediotz n bai bai lang fei qian for nth..

Tml is da Fireworks concert leR.. M I supposed to be excited?? But I m not....
Haish. Feel sho disappointed wif renfu manx.. Mi put in sho much effort. N he saw de..!! ='(
AIYEEEEEEE~!!! Feel sho shi bai.

Hmmms. Yesterdae Joel was sho funny on msn manx.. hahaz.. make mi luff until stomach pain. Den mi sorta neglected weijie n gaoyan.. hahaz.. nvm.. dey oso tokin to each other marX.. So never mind bahx.. Hahaz. Mariaoel, take care of ur toe nail woR~ U haf 2 daez left. DIAOZ~
So datz all bahx.. Mi go call GY ler.. She says she miss mi... wahahahz. DUH~ Of cuz larsh. Mi sho loveable. WAHAHAZ~ -paisehx- Byeeeeeeee~

xiezhi KISS qiaoen

2004-08-06T16:35:00.000+08:00

XieZhi KISS QiaoEn

Oh mi gosh.....
Lucky its not renfu in da pic... if not i will definitely go mad de... lolx..
Y is da whole wurld so xing fu except mi...
Everyone has found their happiness...
Wo ne..? Que hai zai chi chi de deng dai...
Dan lian de zi wei zhen bu hao shou...
Nan dao ni bu neng shi zhe qu liao jie marx...
Mei guan xi. Wo bu yong jing. Wo yi jing xue hui le zen me qu ZHU FU leR.
Wo zhu fu ni, zhi yao ni kuai le, wo liu duo shao yan lei dou shi zhi de de.....
Hmmmmms. I feel I can express myself betta in chinese. If u all cant understand da han yu pin yin, den nvm baHx.. Aniwae, It wasnt meant to be understood in da first place.. I m juz tokin to myself.. *as usual*.. Yeppz.

Haish~! Y every1 all sae our performance 'OK' onli.. realli dat bad arhx..?! FINE. But I shud be happie enuf dat u all neva puke le baHx.~ HMPF~ We lyk it can ler larsh~ U all Dun appreciate de..... BaDdY~ =@

He's still not online... Mi wait 2 hrs ler....

national dae

2004-08-06T15:51:00.000+08:00

Went to TM hopin to see him dere.. But, No.....
Rushed home hoping to see him online.... But, NO.
Great.. I feel so miserable~ But I haf promised myself not to blog anymore depressing entries leR.. I shall juz keep everyting to myself.. N bottle up everyting deep down inside mi n juz explode baHx..
Okies okies.. Tok abt todae NDP baHx.. Woke up at 5am todae cuz needa reach skool early marx.. wah sehx.. Reach skool da tym start to feel v jing zhang.. Hahaz.. We had to tie high ponytail.. den i had to use sooper much gel to keep mi hair in place.. lolxXx. Den when it was finally our turn to perform da tym, we went to da audience dere to stand by.. cuz we were supposed to walk out frm da audience marx. Den got alot of ppl keep on complaining sae we block dem. Mi felt got sumting keep on hitting my back lehx.. den turn baq but saw nothing.. In da end den realise is dat 2J dat gangstaa throwin stones at da audience.. I m one of da innocent victims~ =XxX
When da NCC perform finish, is dance turn leR.. Wahsehx.. nearly cudnt breathe manx.. hahaz.. Hope I didnt look stoopid juz now baHx~ =)
At da ending, all da performing groups gathered at da parade square n sang da national day songz.. Rawkz sia~ Everyone so highhh sia~~ HeeX~ Enjoyed da celebration neHx~ DANCE RAWKZ!! Everyone did GREAT!
After dat went wif GY dey all go TM.. mi v tired.. so lyk v restless liddat. I wasnt in da mood to eat. So I starved myself. Till now, I haf not eaten a single ting yet. Hu cares...
O manx.. so long neva watch Wan Quan Yu Le ler.. almoz a month ler bahx.. Gosh~ How cud I...
Now watchin WQYL~ FINALLY!! Miss wan yu so much manx.. todae got 5566 n KOne.. Sho shuai~~ Heex~ But I dun seem to see Dar Dar lehx.. Where's Renfu..
Haish.. Wan yu end ler..
Yayys~ Finally sew finish Renfu''s pouch leRx.. Muz shun li jiao dao ta shou shang no matter wad manx.. put in sho much effort n dunno got pricked by needle how mani tymz lorx.. ='[
ARGH~ No one online now.. sho sianz~~ ZzZzZZz

BEN DAN...Wonder when wud u eva initiate the "hi"....... It's alwaez mi. N I'm tired of dat leRx.
U realise dat I m alwaez da FIRST one to sae hi..
N I haf neva said "bye" before u do...
No matter how tired or busy am I.. I hang on bcuz of u. Cudnt bear to leave before u do.. Yea.. I m a bai chi.. dat luvs a ben dan.... ='(

O manx.. my hair feel sho *Eeeeekz* now.. All thanx to da gel larsh~.. tink mi betta go wash hair ler larx.. lata bcum seaweed. hahaz. -.- Kkz.. C yaz.

saDz... ='(

2004-08-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

Oh my god... I feel so rotten now.. *Rotten Apple* Dun bite mi....
I guess "Wang Le Ai" suits my mood more bahx.. But still not as sad as I m feelin now..
H.U.R.T...... L.O.S.T..........N.U.M.B
AHHHHHHHH!!! Sucks to da core manx...
Dun wanna tok abt dat leR larsh. Tink abt it ler feel lyk cryin...
Y liddat de...... Wad is happening.......
So mani tings happened... I feel numb to everyting around mi...... Even to him. For a moment juz now.....
Wo mei you yong qi mian dui ta.... Wo zhi neng yuan yuan de kan zhe ta...... Que bu xiang rang ta kan dao wo....
Tml got National Day performance.. At first v look forward to it de.. But now, shen me xing qing dou mei le..Got muscle cramp.. dis few daez continuously practice dance lyk siao... Hope nth goes wrong tml baHx.. Hafta put on a fake smile to hide all da pain within.
Is Darx cumin tml....? I dunno.. I m still not prepared for it yet. Hai mei zuo hao xin li zun bei.... Da ting oso sew half way onli.... zen me ban... Hao fan~! I am not in the mood to think of anything now. Though tml shud be da dae dat I haf been waitin so long for...
WJ still doesnt noe how i look lyk. I suppose so...? Datz great.. =X
Todae, Alvin said hi to mi for da veryFIRST tym.. Whoas~ o.0
Den J walked past n had dis weird reaction.. dunno wad does it mean lars.. He sounds lyk he is saying "Eeeeee"... Den I dunno if I actually saw him sae "hello"? Wells.. it cud be directed to another person. After all, I m air.
Gosh~ Joel sprained his ankle.. slightly.. *OUCH*..
WJ sprained his ankle as well.. MAJORLY...(According to J larsh..)
Bao zhong. Dun plae bball until sho ji dong... God bless...
OH MY GOD. GY haf u went mad....?! I cant believe u actually did dat..... I cant breathe. I dun even haf da power to type on anymore. I m too shocked. I admire ur courage. But, I guess I can neva eva did wad u haf juz done. I suck. U made mi realise how much I suck!
I feel so horrible now. Seriously. I m going to cry. I am out of my mind as well. I feel lyk as though I m in hell now. SUCKS. SUCKS!! I dont feel lyk tokin to anyone or do anyting now. Guess I shall not go to school tomorrow as well. Kill me. I haf neva eva felt worser den now. Take mi out of dis world. Please. Sumbody.. help..
FuFu.. Hao xiang ni.. Wo yi jing shou gou le.. Xian zai wo xin li zhi xiang you ni yi ge.. bu zai you bie ren le...
Xin dou sui le.. Yan lei dou liu gan le.. Hai shi zhao bu dao wo yao de xing fu.. Ta xin li mei you wo... yong yuan dou bu hui you wo..... ='(
I cant hold on anymore. Enough. Though I feel so suckky now, I still hafta act lyk as though I m OK.. U noe how hard is it for mi to pretend.. No one understands.. No one bothers. Even if dere is ppl willing to lend a listening ear, I cant sae anyting.. Really.. No one has eva seen da broken hart n da hurt mi beneath my forced smile. I m tired of hiding le.
Sorry GY. I m seriously not in the mood to call u now. Ur sms made mi feel worse. Mi Go bang head on wall ler. Dun care about me. I Suck. Bye.

oh my god

2004-08-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

Oh my god.
I seriously feel like crying now.
I am confused.
My mind is in a mess.
Why do I feel like this now?
What is wrong with me?
I dont know.
Why do you know so much. I dont like that feeling.
Never mind.

Ben Dan.. I need you.
But where are you.
I feel so lost.
I need to talk to you.
Would you lend me a listening ear and understand how I feel?
I doubt so.
You are not even here now.
Just when I need you.
You are not here for me.
Why should you be in the first place?
What am I to you?
I dont know.

No one understands.
I feel as though I am dying. Am I?
Somebody take me out of this world.
Please dont talk to me now.
I am not myself anymore.
I dont know who I am and what am I doing.

God, tell me what to do..
I feel so hurt and lost.
Give me the power to hold on.. Please.
I love you.
I guess I have had enough.

Gaoyan.. I just wanna say thanks.
Luv ya lots.... I'll be strong. You too.
We'll not get affected by ANYONE anymore.. right?
NO.....
I have failed lying to myself again.
I am just so useless.. I know that.

I am not in the mood to do anything now.
Neither am I in the mood to continue waiting for you to come online.
I am sorry. Sorry Ben Dan. Sorry ZhiLin.
Am I talking to myself?
No doubt. This is not the first time anyway.
Starting to show the symptoms of madness.
I can forget about the common test tomorrow.

My life is ruined.
Life sucks.
I suck.
Who cares anyway?
Ignore this entry.
Goodbye.

Dont let that tear drop.
Be strong.

dance rehearsel

2004-08-04T20:32:00.000+08:00

Todae got NDP full dress rehearsel... wah.. V v v tiring lehx.. On Fridae is da actual performance leR.. Sho jing zhang~ Scared lata chu cha cuo~ =XxX God blesssss....
Practice Dance all da wae till 7pm.. Den on da wae home sho xing bu zai yan.. walk walk walk down da hill n nearly got banged by car.. soooo scary neHx!! Den when walkin to da mrt station deRe, stepped into a patch of grass.. den got hole!! Wah.. -sHocKed- Lolx...
Aiyeeeee~ Tml still got geog test!! AHHHHH~~ Dun WaN!! Haven studY yet woR~ PiangxXx.. muz go study leR.. studies already gou lan leR larsh~ Hahaaaz.
Oh mi gosh~ DaRx cumin in 3 more daez!! THREE onli!!! *ExCiTeD*
Haish..... Ben dan.....
SianzZz now~ He's not online. GY not online too.. N da rest bz.. onli left mi to tok to myself.. hahaz..
O btw.. nxt tym if mi online ignore u or sae sth weird.. juz ignore mi.. cuz its my kuzzin.. alwaez tok crap de.. V notti..! Sorrie woR WeiJie.. hahaxxxx.. kuzzin still young. Bu ting hua~ =P
Gosh~ So mani stuff is gonna happen in August~ My faV mth!! Heee~ ***SmiLeXxxX*** Hope it can save my horrendaZ mood now.. goin krazeee~ =XxX

Xin sui pei wo ku dao wu sheng..... Wo chi chi deng.... Zhi neng chi chi deng........ ='(
Finally figured out wad m I...
A I R

jay album

2004-08-03T19:15:00.000+08:00

I ' M A I R

Juz now went to CD Rama to buy da fireworks t-shirt.. hahaz.. need dat lame shirt den can stand at da front deRe durin da 5566 concert maRx.. hehee~ I finally bought it leR, after draggin on for almoz a mth..!! Wah.. Mi sho touched~! =PpPp
Den.. when mi at CD Rama dat tym.. Suddenly heard a v familiaR vioice.. N it was Zhou Jie Lun!! ERMXxX.. NOT da REAL PERSON larx.. I mean da SONG.. yeppz. lolx. His new album is out leR!!! RAWKZ man!! Mi goin to buy no matter wad sia~ heeeex. Den I stayed in CD Rama to listen to his whole album..haha. cuz dey playing it marx.. Wahsehx.. I actually stayed deRe for 45 mins lehx!! Sho LONG sia~ lolxxXx.. Addicted to his songz.. heeZ~ =)
Juz now got NDP rehearsel again.. Wah.. we had to rehearse under da hot sun~ Aiyeeee~ Wo you mei you sai hei ne? Cant afford to get anymore tanned liaoz.. If not mei ren yao.. wahahahaz~ Den we wait for v v long~ Dey keep on restarting.. haish~ But it was quite fun watching da other CCAs rehearse.. Da NCC guy hu gave da command shout chao loud lehx. Den all da commands oso sound lyk MARS language liddat.. when he sae already he oso wanna laugh. See his expression find it v farnie manx.. hahazz.
Todae saw Ben Dan.. den his expression on his face v v v cuteee~ HeexX. ( Though I din realli looka t him) Aiyeeee. As usual, my hart was running a race again.. Arghx~ Din even dare look at him in da eye, though I realli wanna see him.. Haiz. I m so useless. Hate myself.
Todae's Chinese test is a killer manx.. I onli started studyin for it DIS MORNING~ Pro huh..? Dun ask mi y i din study laZ nyt.. Ben Dan's fault. Nono. neber mind.
I dunno how to do ALOT of qns!! *PanicKs*.. Den after handin up da paper.. GUESS WAD?! Oh mi gosH~~~ I REALISED DAT I ACTUALLY MISSED OUT DA BACK PAGE!!! I seriously din noe dat at da baq still got de.. Sumore is 20 marks lehx.. My gawd~ 20 marks bai bai song zou leR.. Sho qi manx!! =XxX
On thursdae still got Geog n English test.. AHHHH~ I v stressed neHx~ Helpppp!!!
OH MY GOD!!! HOW CUD I HAF FORGOTTEN???!!!! -Bangz head on wall- Todae ish my FATHER's BDAE!!! AHHHHHHHH~~ Stoopid mi.. Sorrie Babaaa~~ I onli realised dat when he msged mi n asked wad wud i wan for mi bdae.. N todae is his bdae!! I FEEL SHO BAD!! I dun wan any prezzies.. I juz want babaa to stay happy n healthy 4eva~~ Dat wud be my biggest prezzie frm him leR.. LuV ya BaBaaa. HAPPIE BDAE!! God bless..
TIAN AH!!!!!!!! Todae is 3rd of August leR woR??!! SHO FAST??!! Da means DARX is cumin in 4 more daez??!!! OH MY GOD~~ Goin to faint leR larsh!! I haven finish makin his prezzie yet!! AHHHHH~~ Zen me ban.. -blacks out-
ARGH!! Kuzzin wanna use com leR..Sadx~ Gtg ler larsh! -sobz- Cant wait for Ben Dan to cum online leRs!! HOW?! Wad can I do.. *Sighs*.. Tell mi when u r online k.. Errrs. So funny. He dun even noe dat....... Erm. Nothing. 4get it. Bye den.. Try to be baQ sooN.. Try... TRY...
~*~ Ai shang le ge bu gai ai de ban dan~*~

haish

2004-08-02T20:25:00.000+08:00

I suck. I made a fool out of myself todae. Y cant I juz be braver. Y cant I juz face him...Tink i made tings pretty obvious bahx. Aiyeee. I hate myself. I suck.
Juz now got dance pract until 6pm.. My energy all drained out leR.. sho tired.. nearly fainted juz now manx.. we danced non-stop.. den tml got dance pract again.. Tml oso got chinese test.. oh mi gosh.. haf not even touched on mi bookz yet lorhx.. can see dem decomposing in a corner leRx.. I m sho hopeless manx. I noe dat.
Maybe I'll go offline earlier lata to study a little bahx. After all, I m da Chinese rep.. cant afford to do badly for chinese. Sho dui lian & dui bu qi wo zi ji lorhx. Cuz chinese is supposed to be my beZ sub.. lolx. datz true~
AHHH~ Y everybody all goin offline leR.. Shuckx. Dun leave mi alone~ I tml oso got test de lehx.. But still came online juz for............... NVM.
My mood is sho rotten todae.. sarkz man. So i shall end heRe. God bless. niteX.

MiSsIn YoU...

oh my god

2004-08-02T00:45:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh.. FENGQI!! Sho cuteeeeee.. luv his smile manx.. apart frm Renfu.. He is da onli one dat can make mi melt.. luv QiQi 4eva~ He's comin soon leR.. Its been a mth since he left.. miss him sho much..
wah.. 12:45am leR.. Datz sooo EARLY!! Till now still tokin to weijie sia.. hahaz.. MiRacLe~ He's actually still online at dis kinda tym.. whoa~ He oso goin offline leRx.. lolxXxX~ kkz.. betta go slp liaoz.. If i stare at dis photo any longer.. I wud faint de woRx. Sho ShuAi!!! Argh!! hahaz.. Parents nag lyk siao leRx.. threaten to ban mi frm using da com leRx. Aiyozz. scary sia~ NiteXxx~!

fengqi chao shuai

nth much

2004-08-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

YAYYS!! My blog song haf finally came baq leR.. WELCUM BAQ~~ Missed ya shooo mucH!!! I've tried putting "Qi Li Xiang" mani mani tymz liaox.. but CANT lehx~ !!Sho pissed manx.. ARGH~ Nvm.. Cun Zai Rawkz equally.. hahaz..
Juz reached home not long ago.. lyk abt 1 n a half hr? heheexXx.. Went out on shopping spree wif mom.. lolz.. Now got da " Ma La Jiao Shi TE BIE BAN" on Channel 8 lehx!! I wanna watch!! Haish.. nvm nvm.. got more impt tings to do...
Juz now when go out wif my mom da tym got one pervertic AH PEH go whistle to mi.. kaozz.. How mani tymz muz i get disgusted over dese pervertic creepz?? Sho disgusted manx.. den i juz shout baq " SI BIAN TAI"~ haRhasH.. Dat was sho brave of mi manx.. - gives myself a pat on da shoulder- I Was so worried dat he wud chiong up to mi n bash mi up manx.. hahaz..
Nobody protect mi... Sadx..
Tml got dance pract again.. N i tink tues, wed, thurs & Fri oso will haf de.. Cuz we needa perform for National Day marx.. Haish.. gonna be real bz nowdaez manx.. Dis wk still got sho mani tests cumin up.. no tym to study leRx.. GAWD~ Gonna fail everyting manx.. Sho dead~ My studies arhx.. is sho... WONDERFUL~ =XxXxX
Juz now went to top up card.. at first sho excited de.. wanted to buy da 5566 M-Card.. limited edition.. got their pic de woR! Shuai shuai de.. ^_^
BUT!!! Go dere.. dey onli haf.. SPIDER MAN de.. DIAOZ.. wahliewz.. i wan mi 5566!!! No choice lorhz.. V bu gan yuan- buy da SPIDER MAN de top up card.
AHhhaaa~~ No mood blog ler larsh.. plus u all alwaez sae mi blog v long.. so I shall end here bahx.. HAPPIE? lolx.. So.... nitex lo~
~*~ 17 moRe daeZ to..... ~*~
~*~ 27 more daeZ to..... ~*~

yesterdae yi ge ren sheng huo

2004-08-01T10:42:00.000+08:00

~*~* Yi Ge Ren Sheng Huo *~*~ ='(

Oopz... Realised dat yesterdae I din blog at all.. so unlike of me huh.. lolz.. So shall make up for it todae bahx.. Yesterdae had dance rehearsel in da morning.. Den mi lyk blur-fish liddat.. practically forgot all da dance steps lorhx.. aiyozz.. den yaopeng dey all walked past, make mi even more forget da dance steps.. or was it paiseh to dance? ERMX.. hahaz. Mi V shy de..
* bLuShEs* Heheee..We didnt manage to do da proper rehearsel at da parade square.. cuz it rained.. haish.. but we still practiced in da concourse till abt 12.. surprisingly, i cud get out of bed yesterdae!! Tot my muscles wud ache till i cant even move de lorhx.. hahaz.. ~MIRACLE~
After dance, went to 85 BaSaaaaR eat lunch wif Val n Just.. As usual, laughter n lameness cant be avoided.. lolz. Den we kai kai for a while den went baq to skool ler.. B4 dat, we went to NTUC.. Val wanted to buy sum stuff.. I tink i actually heard an indian woman tok to mi..!! n i was lyk "HUH" *Question MaRk* ???... LOLZ. dis is not farnie manz.. GrRrRr.. I m SINGAPOREAN~! Ermx... actually not pure baHx.. Hehex.. =P
Den we went baq to skool for parents teacher meeting... My babaa brought mi younger bro along.. N suddenly, I realised dat my younger bro bian shuai le!! Wahaha~ His hair looks lyk Renfu's hairstyle woR. Makes him even more shuai ye~ *ArBiSh* o.0 Diaoz. After dat, Mrs Goh, Mr Wang, Mr Lim n da chairman of PSG gave these sooper INTERESTING talks.. My younger bro cudnt STAND it.. so i asked him to SIT. -NO LAR- hahaz. lameee~ So he went home lorhx.. Left mi n my baba to suffer.. nearly fell asleep manx.. hahaz. Fortunately, dere was dis guy hu came to tok abt how to handle teens lyk us.. N his presentation was lyk sho farnie lorhx.. Hahaz.. Make mi laugh until stomach pain again.. Y dis 3 daez all sho farnie de arhx.. Laugh non-stop siaz.. But dis is a good ting.. betta den da past few daez..Bearly smiled..One of da ting dat made mi laugh da moz was da slide where it showed a guy using da com..N he was reading an email, which was dis... :
" Dear Andy, how have you been? Your mother and I are fine. We miss you. Please sign off your computer and come downstairs from dinner now. Love, Dad."
PIANGX~!!! At first I still tot dis guy is in other country studying or wad.. Yuan lai he is juz UPSTAIRS!! N his father actually has to send him an email to invite him down for dinner!! OH MY GAWD~~ Dun u find it shooooo farnie?! HAHAHA~ Real lame sia~
Den Serene called mi during the speech.. I din answer cuz my Babaaa sitting beside marx.. dun wanna distract him.. Plus Serene was juz lyk sitting a few chairs awae onli lorhx.. hahaz.. wondered wad she wanna tell mi.. Den She msged mi n said "Zhilin, my sister sae u V v pretty lehz... Happie?" DOTX.. Dun make mi laugh anymore lar serene.. LOLX...Den da second msg came.. N she said "Btw, my sister sae ur hair V v nice lehz... Lyk rebonded liddat. She wan me to ask u got boyfren anot. "
LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL!
GAWD... WAHAHAZ~ Serene arh.. ur sis wei mian tai kan de qi wo le bahx.. or issit cock eYe~ hahaa.. Errs. Den i go bluff her sae" Got. GOT. He got cum, sitting beside my babaaa. which is my bro.. hahaz.. N she BELIEVED. Datz great.. lolx..*Hua-Chi* -ChiLdIsHhhh- Ah Dotx.. Wah.. da msgs... so funny.. haha... hahaha...Hmmms. ok.. cant laugh anymore. Stomach beri pain leR. Yeppz.
Laz nyt i went offline abnormally early.. Cuz Ben Dan went offline quite early.. as well as my other frenz.. Oh yar!! Yest mi n joel toked abt da new jay chou song " Qi li xiang". N it soooo RAWKZ lorhx..! Now I'm addicted to dat song as well.. see lar u, influence mi.. HAHAZ. He was findin for it.. N I HAVE it.. So sent him lorhx.. hahaz. Ehhh guyx.. mi strongly recommend " Qi Li Xiang" & "Yi Ge Ren Sheng Huo"!! Realli very very VERY nice!! Hmmms.. I Oso sent him "Yi Ge Ren Sheng Huo" Wah sehx... dat song is one of da saddest song i haf heard in my life manx.. N he actually noes dat song too.. wah.. AmAzinG~ I was lyk : Wah.. sum1 in da wurld apart frm mi actualy noes dis song too. N he actually watched Yu MeI Ren oso woR!! So touching.. Yu Mei Ren RAWKZ manx!! Cried soo much for dat show.. LeFT a Very very VERY deep impression in my childhood memories..
Da both of dem died at da last part...
Oh my god.. BU YAO XIANG LE!! Goin to cry ler.. gosh..
Den i oso got send da song to GY n Brother.. Heez.. So so so nice!! Wah GY nan de cum online.. hahaz.. miss ya neHx~
I went to watch " The Next Big Thing" for a while.. Wah.. realised i haf not watched tv for lyk
ONE MONTH ler baHx..?! Whoa~ Hardly watch tv nowadaez.. cuz most of my tym all spent on com leR.. Addicted to it.. All bcuz of.... Errs nvm. =X Den went to slp leR..
Gaoyan msged mi at 11 plus laz nyt.. WOW.. datz so EARLY..? Hahaz.. N I was already in my dreamland leR.. Den i woke up to read her msg n replied.. Tink i was still not at a clear state of mind at dat tym. n din noe wad i replied.. tink i typed rubbish to her.. N she replied" huh.. I dun understand." Lolx. paisehx~ I went to check mi sent items n realised dat i realli typed crap.. even i oso din noe i typed dat lorhx.. haharsH. Mmmm.. so dis shud be all for yesterdae baHx..
AHHHHHHHH todae is 1st of AUGUST ler!! Sho fast...!! Yea manx.. August is my FAV MTH!! Whooohoo.. Hehex.. National Dae Concert (5566.. Whole Qiao Jie Li de ppl!!!) ,HubbY FuFu n FengQi's bdae.. Shanwei stuff.. FengQi daRx cumin!!! N most imortantly.. I m GROWING OLDER ler!! YEAAAAA~~ Dun wanna be a 13 yR old anymore.. sarkz manx.. 13 yr old seems to be lyk Xiao mei mei to other ppl.. but I m NOT.. U neva noe.. wads deep down inside.. hahaz.. *HugGieS n KiSsEs*
Now listenin to " Qi Li Xiang".. my gawd.. haf listened it for da whole dae yesterdae till todae.. dis is da 60 +++ tymz i m listenin to dis song leR.. Hao duo gan chu... = /
Oopz.. realised dat I'm supposed to go to ShanRui's church todae.. y m I still here? Ahhhh~
AnnYoNg~ =) ~ CoLoUrFuL~

~* Wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren sheng huo..
Wo xiang wo ke yi jia zhuang bu ceng ai guo... ~*

2004-07-30T21:23:00.000+08:00

OUCH~~!!! Muscle ache.. Juz bathed.. sho tired.. Actually din wan to cum online de.. wanted to dive into my bed n juz swim to my dreamland.. But... hehex~ Dere r juz sho mani tings to blog abt todae.. Plus.. wanted to see if he was online.. sooo.. hehex.. forced myself to turn on da com.. N here I m now! dotx..
My eyes cant hold on any longer.. Ben dan.. wo kuai cheng bu zhu ler..
Dis morning went to meet Seowjin, ShanRui & Jun to take cab together to East Coast dere. We goin to late ler juz now.. so called for cab.. den juz after SJ listen finish da taxi number n hang up da fone.. ShanRui jokingly said dat da taxi cum leR.. Den we all over deRe sae " yar yar, very farnie".. N it turned out to realli be our cab lehx!! Den we all laugh lyk madz siaz.. LOLZ.. sho VERY farnie lehx!!! Where got ppl juz put down da fone den da cab reach leR..?! you dian kua zhang you mei you.. hahaz.. U shud haf seen dat scene manx.. Den we all laugh laugh laugh.. laughed all da way till East Coast Park dere.. ish realli laugh until stomach pain lorhx.. HAHAHAHA... *MADZ*
Here cums da killer part manx.. Da 2.4 run was so torturing manx.. Mi got stomach n leg cramp.. plus got stich oso.. So running da tym VERY XING KU!! Promised to run wif Seowjin de.. but run run run.. den suddenly saw her at da back.. so i jogged on da spot to wait for her.. den started running again.. but keep on seeing she at da baq.. so signalled to her to jiayou.. lolz.. den all da ppl at da back faster chiong.. =XxX.. In da end.. mi run half way da tym cant see SJ anymore leR.. So i juz ran alone lorhx.. Realli very nan shou lehx.. Da pain is killin mi manx.. Had difficulty in breathing sia.. Stamina realli drop alot leRx.. sadz.. = (
Dang shi zhen de hao xiang fang qi.. u noe how badly i wanted to juz stop running n gif up manx.. But, I told myself not to.. Den keep on shouting out Renfu's name to motivate mi.. Da thought of him realli pushed mi on.. So, i din stop at all.. no matter how pain i felt.. FINALLY reached da ending point leR.. N i was lyk goin to faint ler lorhx.. cant even see properly, n da wurld seems to be spinning.. felt my face burning red.. Wah.. den i got da number tag.. n i was so shocked to see "28" manx.. I tot dat i wud get lyk 80 sth liddat.. -shocked- Cud haf done betta de.. but nvm.. din regret waiting for SJ.. After all, frenship ish more impt den a ranking ryt.. Heex.. =)
Piangx.. My class guyx go pour dunno how mani bottles of water over mi after da run manx.. make mi whole shirt sho damn transparent.. Eeeeekz. Pu guang ler larhx.. Keng Guan n da other guyz kept on staring.. Ermx.. make mi hafta ping ming squeeze all da water outta mi pooR shirt.. =/ -BaddY guyX- Hmpf~~
Den mi, Val, Serene n justyne met n went for lunch together.. N it was so unbelievable dat we actually walked frm East Coast dere all da way till Parkway sia.. Wah sehx.. Took arnd 50 mins baHx.. WOW! Datz lyk sho.... long..? We survived?! Yea manz..We raWkz~ hahaz.. Whereva dere's mi.. will alwaez haf laughter de.. LOLZ. Bhb~ wo shi da jia de kai xin guo.. wahahahz. Juz lyk yesterdae, mi n Val dey all luff until stomach pain..Realli cant stop laughin lorhx.. den every1 lyk staring at us liddat.. hahaz. sho paisehx.. Den frm parkway laugh laugh laugh all da way until reach baq to skool.. lemme see.. we actually laughed non- stop for 3 hrs? Whoa~ new record.. yesterdae de abt 1 hr plus onli.. hahaz.. -________-" Now stomach sho pain frm all da laugin.. lolz.. Cant be helped.. datz mi.
Though mi whole body was aching n I was totally exhausted frm 2.4 juz now.. still had to go for Dance pract.. for FIVE hrs sumore.. Dat explains y I'm sho drained out now.. Tml still got Dance rehearsel for National Dae de performance.. o manz.. -dead- Dun even tink i can move at all tml lorhx.. todae already so cham.. Aiyeeee. Den cant accompany SJ go for science carnival ler.. sorrie SJ!! I realli wanna accompany u de.. but.. zhen de bu ke yi..Sorry.. sorry.. =S
Oh yars.. juz now on da wae home da tym.. looked out of da window.. n so qiao.. guess hu i saw.. hahaz.. dun tell u.. lolz.. -u noe hu- Wanted to get off da bus de.. hahaz.. but.. 4get it manx..
Everytym see him oso no courage to sae hi de.. wei shen me wo zhe me mei you yong de.. ming ming hen xiang gen ta shuo hua de.. Argh~~ Dun care ler lar!!! Nxt tym muz not tao bi anymore!!! Act normal.. if paiseh den wud be to obvious leRx. Ben dan is no idiot.. though he's ban dan.. hahas.
Aiyozz. mommie angry lerx.. cuz mi everydae oso use com until sho late de.. lyk 12 plus liddat bahx..
Not dat I m not tired n dun wanna slp.. but.. juz cant help waiting.. for... nvm... Plus, i cant slp.. Too mani tings bothering mi leRx. Nvm, i guess i can handle it baHx. Shall seek god's help. Yeppz.
Hmmms. I shall try to keep mi entries short kz.. noe u all no patience to read long long de entries de.. see i sho understanding.. hehex. Datz all for todae bahx. -yawnz- hao lei oh~ Tml still hafta crawl up early in da mornin.. jia you, jia you, jia you!! -.- Eyes pain...
Hope tomorrow wud be a betta dae..hope one dae all mi waiting wud pay off.. dis tym i shall not gif up. shall hold on. Cuz mi hart juz refuses to let go.
Wo men hui you wei lai ma....
T I R E D of waiting.

ben dan

2004-07-29T23:40:00.000+08:00

*Rubz eyes*... Oopz.. It's 11:40 leR.. Sho late ler neHx.. Ben dan offline leR.. Tink todae is one of da daez dat rawkz da moz baHx.. Hope dat everydae can be lyk todae liddat.. filled if laughter n a teeny wenny bit of happiness baHx.. Heex.. After tinking for veri long... finally decided dat... I muz hold on.. n shall not force myself to gif up n not to lyk him anymore leR.. Ben Dan.. no matter wad.. I'll alwaez be waitin for u.. No matter how long it takez.. wad matters moz is a true hart.. N i've got it.. But, dun let mi wait too long.. okies.. *SmiLeXxX*
Dun let mi pooR hart breaK again.. N dun lemme feel dat i suck anymore.. It doesnt matter if dere's anyone in uR hart now.. I've figured it out too.. Ai qing, bu shi zhan you.. So even if i cant haf u.. i juz hope to see u xing fu can leR.. suo yi.. ni yi ding yao xing fu oh.. Dun wanna see u ben ben de nan guo anymorz.Haish.. Cant stand myself~ I'm sho luv-sickk.. though I'm not considered in luv baHx.. Cuz dis is juz An Lian er yi.. Or has it already bcum guang ming zheng da de ne? Lolx.. NONO.. bu hui de.. erhmx.. Ahhh. Shou bu liao wo zi ji. Jing ran shuo chu zhe zhong rang ren qi ji pi ge da de hua.. Ermx.. k larsh.. mi go slp ler.. Tml stil got 2.4km run.. St John's arhx.. gen zai wo hou mian jiu dui leR.. Remember to stand by da ambulance too horx.. LOLZ. *_*
Nitex everyone. Nitex Ben Dan.. *HuggYx*.
Red's still rawkinG~
-*- Zhi dao xian zai, wo hai mo mo de deng dai...-*-

arghz

2004-07-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHH!! Sho fed up manx.. sth wrong wif mi stoopid com, den hafta retype dis whole entry again.. ARGH~ Fine. Fine. I'll do just dat.
Hmms.. Knew I wun surivive thru history test de.. N i m rite.. Shuckx. Dun even noe how to do a single ting lehx.. Plus i v v v tired.. So i was lyk strugglin to keep my eyes open juz now.. I'm gonna fail manx.. so dead..
Errrs. Todae i din see him AT ALL lehx.. Nvm.. muz control... I can live a day without seeing him de.. rite? =(
Got dance pract juz now.. wah muscle beri pain lehx.. Cuz of yest PE lorhx.. Got NAFA oso.. Aiyeee den juz now when dancin dat tym, juz slightly move a little bit already v pain ler.. Cant imagine tml how neHx.. Aiyozz.. Dun wanna run 2.4 larsh!! Helppppp~~
Aniwaez.. Todae ish a beri farnie dae manx.. Laughed all da way lorhx.. So mani tings happened.. hahaz.. Shud i tok abt history? Ermx.. Havin doubts sia.. Okie larsh,, Guess i betta tok abt it, if not i wud explode de.. lolx.. Hmmms.. Juz now durin history lesson, Mr.Smith showed us dis video on world war 2 de.. N at da starting part deRe.. saw da soldiers wear lyk onli one small piece of cloth over da important part. yuppz. =XxX Den.. when da war started, dey ran into da sea.. N suddenly, dunno why.. Dey r all NAKED.. YUCKS!!! I SAW EVERYTHING!!! Mommieee~~ When i saw da tym whole person GonG diao sia.. Den started screamin n take da history book cover mi eyes sia.. Den after dat...when da soldiers struggling at da sea dere dat tym..jing ran.... OPEN LEG..!!! -faintz- Great..Wad a "zhuang guan" de scene huhx.. -VOMITZ- Fast forward baHx.. Da thought of it makes mi hair stand.. hahaz.. Still dun believe he actually let us watched dis kinda ting manx.. Soooo EDUCATIONAL.. eRrrx. I haf indeed learned ALOT manx.. =P
Dunno y, i juz started laughin wif SJ dey all.. laugh until recess.. recess over ler still laughin.. Den enrichment da tym, teacher showed us another video abt "Yang Gui Fei" de.. make us nearly xiao si sia.. CHAO HAO XIAO lehx~~!! Wah.. their make up chao thick de.. Da powder at least got 8cm thick manx.. Den da hairstyle.. wahsehx.. all bun up de.. N den stack up da hair until lyk arnd 20 cm tall liddat.. comb still stuck at da hair de.. LOLZ.. n THEIR VOICES N SMILE ALL SO SPASTIK DE.. watch da video realli can laugh till u go mad de lorhx..!! Dunno y we found it sho farnie larsh.. Da rest of da class lyk fallin asleep ler.. onli we all over deRe laughin our heads off over it.. Hmmms. Cant blame us. We r juz... lameee. hahaz..
Aiyeee. Tml after 2.4km run still got dance pract until 5pm lehx.. tink on saturdae can juz prepare to lie on da bed for da whole dae ler.. Dun even tink can get up of bed lorhx.. muscle surely ache lyk madz de.. lolx..
Oh btw.. how to go dere arhx.. aiyozz. i dunno lehx.. Shud i juz walk dere since its so near to mi hse?? Ermx.. tink can drop dat idear bahx.. dun wanna drain all my energy even b4 running.. Dunno how m i goin to survive thru da run tml manx.. Already got difficultly walkin leR.. no need to sae run.. hahaz.. god bless..
Ohs.. juz realised dat i din see him for da whole dae todae.. congratz. I actually survived thru a dae without seeing him.. =X muz learn to control myself ler larsh.. I can live one dae without him de rytz? ... dotx...
Ben dan.. is it juz sho hard for u to initiate? Y muz i alwaez be da one hu initiates on everyting.. i m sho tired of waiting..
Ni xian zai zai zuo shen me ne? Ni zai xiang TA mah? Wad can i expect.. wo shi ta shen me ren ah,, wo dui ni lai shuo dao di shi shen me ne.. zhen de hao xiang zhi dao..
Suan ler.. shall not continue tokin abt him ler.. if not may splurt out sum stuff dat r not meant to be said de.. tings juz cant get anymore obvious.. i tink.. he shud be sensed it ler baHx..Bu xing!! He's NOT supposed to noe.. Ahhhhh. 4get it. I haf onli myself to blame. For not hiding my feelings well enuf. yepps. it's my fault.
End here baHx.. my brain is refusing to tink any further.. corrupted by HIM once again.. So...... byeeeee lo. Nitex... (aiyozz. Da qian jing bai fen bai pic cant dee leR..)
[ S ] t i l l [ W ] a i t i n g .... ....
Fine. I'll just continue waiting like a fool. But dont let me wait too long.

Qian jing bai fen bai

2004-07-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

Hehex.. Qian jing bai fen bai RAWKZ manx.. It's a MUST-SEE show woR.. Harharsh.. Qiao En chao cuteee in da show.. Mengzhe beri shuai.. N da other guyy.. wads his mane arhx.. sheeet manx.. HOW CUD I HAF FORGOTTEN??!! -BiSh- Yeppz.. he oso beri man in dat show..

Hehex.. hope u guyz lyk da photo~ Juz wanted to share it. HeeeX~ Realised todae blogged 3 entries sia.. paisehx.. muz read fiN woR~ JiaYou.. Lolx. Remember taggg horx.. kekex~
Sho bored. He's not tokin. He's gone..? Den I'm goin too.. No point stayin online anymore since my purpose of cumin online is.. for him.. - Prepared to die for history common test tml-

Gonna break my record of slpin onli at 1am leR.. Heex. Haf not had a decent slp for weeks ler..!! Nitex den... *YAWNZ*

Qian Jing Bai Fen Bai

~* WheN wUd U eVa aPpRecIatE... N LeaRn tO IniTiatE...~*
I'll wait for ya... But, I dunno how much longer I can hold on for..

2004-07-28T21:42:00.000+08:00

WAH piangx... todae gou dao mei ler larsh.. Got shocked for 9 tymz todae.. N nearly got banged by car when crossin da road.. plus juz now.. tot goin to be late for Kor class ler so take cab chiong dere.. wasted $7 plus for nuting woR.. Den when reach dere, den find out da class change to saturdae liaoz.. o manx.. dis is lyk.. so GREAT huh.. Made a wasted trip dere.. Arghx~ Wanna zhuang qiang ler larsh..
Mi eyes can bearly open now.. my vision is so blur.. Y arhx.. Issit bcuz of juz now.. or m i juz too tired.. Maybe I'm dying bahx.. datz great.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! TIAN AH!!! tml got history test wor??!!! Now den i realise lehx.. 4 chaptz.. N guess wad.. I DIN BRING BAQ MY BOOKZ!!! N i dun even noe a single ting of history lorhx.. dreamin during classes de.. WAN DAN LER!! Die... DIe.. DIE!!! God bless manx..
Dis yr streaming ler.. N mi still sho slack.. prepare to wan dan le larsh.. lolx. nono~ Bu ke yi.. though i'm outta my mind. But.. Still hafta treat dis seriously manx.. Wad sub combination shud i choose arhx.. Haf no idea lehx.. But definitely not triple science.. I wud die de.. heeX. My dear seniors arhx.. i need advice~~!!
Tml got dance pract for national day performance.. Yayys. Rawkz manx~~ Harhaz..
OH NO.. 2.4km run cumin leR.. juz 2 more daez.. so fast.. I DUN WAN!! Stamina decrease tremendously manx..hahaz..
Todae PE we did da first 2 items of NATFA.. Standing Board Jump n Sit-ups... Wahsehx.. Tot i wud die de.. but.. wahahahaz. Mi stilla s pro as eva. LOLX!! No larsh.. Sit-ups now v lan.. onli do 41 lorhx.. kaoz.. but still got A larsh.. Heex. Den standing board jump.. Aiyeee. Deprove ler manx.. Onli jump 180cm.. Nvm larsh.. Shud be gd enuf for gurls ler bahx.. Got A too.. Heex~ Hope can get 30 pointz lyk laz yr.. hahaz.. Tink its impossible ler bahx... JIA YOU!!
Hmmms.. Tink nth else ler bahx.. Stop here den.. Take care peepz.. Luv ya.. NiteXxX~~

~*~ LiFe Seemz so MeAniNgLess NowAdaEz... WheN wUd HE eVa aPpEar~*~
TiRed Of [ W A I T I N G ]
............. Zhen Xin Jiu Bu Pa Mei Ren Ai ................
<----- You tian wo yi ding hui deng dao, sheng ming li na wei ying xiong..
You tian wo yi ding hui zhao dao.. bei wo de ai, gan dong de ren --------->

sarkz yan jiang bi sai..

2004-07-28T17:45:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHH. So angry manx.. Wif MYSELF bahx.. Juz now i realli sarked at da Yan Jian Bi Sai lorhx.. To tink dat i haf put in sho much tym n effort for dis competittion..Memorised da script lyk siao n rewrote da script for 8 tymz.. Plus.. every sec, every min, I didnt stop practising da speech lorx.. Made mi din slp at all laZ nyt.. N took awae my appetite too.. Gen ben dou chi bu xia durin recess juz now lorhx..saw him too..
Den when it was finally my turn juz now.. My mind went completely BLANK!! I was chao ji JING ZHANG lorhx.. I FORGOT EVERYTING dat i haf been memorised for da past few daez!! N i was trembling.. Aiyeeee. I did realli very badly juz now!! Sho angry wif myself. ARGH~ Den after i yan jiang finish.. cudnt control myself anymore.. faster went baq to my seat n just.. haish. Yepps. I Cried.. AGAIN. I didnt wan to de.. But I juz cant help it..
Thanx arh SeowJin.. I felt betta wif ur encouragement.. Though u keep on askin mi to stop cryin.. i juz cant.. Den when it's finally SJ's turn to yan jiang da tym.. I tried my best to Bu Ku leR.. N den her speech v farnie.. hahaz.. make mi laugh.. Thanx.. Thanx.. Saved sho much of mi tears.. Da table was lyk stained wif my tears.. My poor specs as well.. eyes red red.de. v pain.. Tried my bez not to let others see.. Haish.. ITS OVER! I dun wan tink abt it liaoz.. Xing qing yi jing gou bu hao leR.. Den when went baq to class da tym screamed wif SJ. We all sho bu fu qi lorx.. Grrrr.. Nvm SJ, Frm nxt yr onwards, we r NOT goin to take part in any Yan Jian Bi Sai anymore leRx.. Hate it..
O yarx.. Juz now when walkin baq to class da tym saw WeiJie.. He change specs ler woR.. Almoz cudnt recognise him.. harharsh~
Broke record ler.. Cried 2 tymz in skool dis mth leR.. Wahsehx.. Muz learn to control mi emotions betta leRx.. ='( Lata still got Kor class.. Gotta leave in a few mins tym ler.. Realli dun feel lyk goin lehx.. But no choice, i already misseed 2 lessons ler.. Cant afford to miss out anymore.. lolx.. Btw.. Todae ish 28/7 ... ONE more month to RENFU Darx B'DAE!!! Nearing to my B'dae too..LOLX.. Hu cares.. Gtg ler.. Wait for mi to cum online lata horx.. abt 10 plus baHx.. lolx.. Byeeee~

Wo yao jian qiang.. cha gan yan lei bah...
Ta Hai Bu Dong.. Hai Shi Bu Dong...

ahhhhhhh

2004-07-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

GREAT.. Frm juz now sae wanna go memorise script until NOW.. 10 plus ler.. wahliewz.. STILL HAVEN YET!! PLUS.. I LOST DA SCRIPT!! Haf already rewrote it for 7 tymz ler lorhx.. dun tell mi i hafta do it again manx.. can go mad de lehx..
AHHHHH!! Realli muz go do sumting abt it ler.. its TOMORROW ler lehx.. Cant believe it manx.. I m still soooooo UNPREPARED!! Juz now keep on chatting until now.. wah.. horrible mi siaz~ Heex.
Made a new fren, YaoPeng.. He arh.. wah.. wanna confirm how i look lyk.. den go check YEARBOOK!! Wahsehx.. wad a brilliant idea manx.. Tell him dun go see ler he still wan.. haish.. nvm baHx. hahaz. Cant do anyting abt it either.. Aniwaez, YP, jiayou for tomorrow horx!!
Aiyeeeee.. fan si ler lars!! Zen me ban.. ZEN ME BAN!! Sooo mani worries n troubles.. Feel lyk juz disappearin frm da wurld manx.. den dun hafta worry for anyting lerx! How nice wud it be manx.. Aniwaez.. ppl.. muz jiayou for mi tml horx.. hahaz.. JKJK~
Guess mi realli shud go leR.. Oh yars.. REMEMBER TO SET ALARM!!! lolx.. No one remind mi de.. sho baddd!! Lucky i remembered to remind myself.. kekex. Stop here leR. C ya peepz. Take care lo!! Byeeeeeeeee. Gimme poweR~ =XxX

so much to sae

2004-07-27T19:40:00.000+08:00

O manx.. mi realli got alot alot to tok abt todae nehx.. hahaz.. Wah, goin to suffocate leR.. *Gasping for breath* My house smells of insecticide + paint.. Eeeekx. Sarkz lehx. Goin to faint leR. ..LOLX.. Todae.. nearly din go to skool lehx.. SO SCARY manx!! Tink I laz nite too tired ler ba.. I Actually fell asleep without setting alarm woR.. Den mi sleep sleep sleep.. all da way till 7:10am lehx!! Lucky i woke up to go to da toilet manx.. If not i wun check da time, n wun realise dat I m late for skool, n wud continue slpin until god noes wad tym sia.. Hahax.. After i check da tym, i was lyk "Wah, 7 plus onli. Still early.." Den i sat down tinking for awhile..Still not in a clear state of mind.. Wonderin wad dae was it todae.. wad m i doin here.. blahx.. Den i finally realised dat dere is skool todae n I m supposed to be in skool at leR..!! N i JUMPED outta bed manx.. Chiong lyk siao.. Usually took 1 hr to prepare de.. But todae mi break record, took onli 15 mins woR.. AHHH. Dis is nuting to be happie abt larsh! I WAS LATE lorx!! Took cab n flew to skool ler.. den reached t 7:26am.. 1 min late.. juz ONE min..!!! Sho SUAY sia.. Felt quite sick juz now.. sho when had to run da tym beri xing ku.. lyk goin to duan qi leR.. Aiyeee. Gou dao mei ler larx.. Frm todae onwards, muz check dat i haf set alarm for 10 tymz first b4 goin to slp manx.. hahaz.. U all muz remind mi oso horx.. lolx..
Oh.. OHHH!!! Wads da big occasion todae ne...?? Wahahaz~~ It's MENGZHE's BIRTHDAE!!! Mengzhe SHENG RI KUAI LE!! May all ur wishes cum true.. God bless.. Luv ya 4eva.. Harharsh.. Tokin to myself.. btw btw.. Mi lao gong's b'dae oso cumin soon leR.. Juz 1 more mth & 1 dae to go... wahahaz.. But.. I dun dare to look forward to it.. I scared..
Haish. If u all got read my yesterdae's entry.. muz be wonderin y m i at home.. hahaz.. yeppz. I din go for da F.I.R concert.. So sadz lor.. I actually din go for it bcuz of S.W.T.. wah sehx.. looks lyk i m realli commited dis tym. Cuz in da past, nth ish more impt den seeing my ou xiang de.. hahz. I'm chao star-struck de.. =P Ohs.. tokin abt S.W.T.. Juz now got sharing.. Den SiKai Ge told us abt his father's 2 frenx.. yesterdae passed awae.. Feel v sad though i dunno dem.. Aiyeee. Make mi eyes so pain juz now. Den we oso got praise god thru singing.. Da songs r v touchin.. n got lotsa meaning.. V sad too.. Den after da whole ting ended, mi follow YT n CC go tok to sikai ge.. after dat i asked him for da blue paper.. I tot dat it was da "Zan mei zhi quan" paper lorhx.. Datz y wanted to take n noe more abt it de.. But turned out to be da time-table of hu is goin to lead assembly every week ( which was onli meant for old members).. Den I tink alloy sorta stared at mi.. Or issit i tink too much ler.. hahaz.. Dunno larsh.. Den SiKai ge sae dis was onli meant for old members ..blah~~ Make mi sho paiseh.. I wanted da other paper larsh!! Make mi look lyk sho despo liddat. WARGH~ Nvm.. HAHAHAZ. Zac beri beri farnie lehx.. Dunno y arh.. suddenly when he, alvin & ken listenin to YT tok half way.. suddenly broke out laughing lyk MAD lorxh.. Wah.. See him luff until liddat cant help luffing too.. Dun understand wads so farnie abt itlorhx.. Zac luff until so loud.. v v v funny!! Kewt~ Den Alvin was lyk tryin his bez to hear wad YT was sayin..keep on askin zac to SHHH~ Hahax.. Wonder wad dey luffin abt manx.. Dui le, Tml Yaopeng representing AHS to compete in da 100m race.. JIAYOU woR~~ Hahaz. Den hope dat da assembly dat ken n -sheet i forgot his name- lead de assembly will be successful.. Will pray for all of dem again.. Heex. =) Fellow members marx.. God bless..
Oh yar, juz now when late da tym.. dey got announce da Notice Board Competition results.. N GUESS WAD?! ...... OUR CLASS GOT 2ND LEHX !!!! Oh My God.. U noe wad.. we haf neva eva won a SINGLE compettition since da first dae of sec 1 until now lehx.. Dis is a miracle manx.. God muz be watchin over us n paid off our efforts.. Thanx lord~Hahaz.. 2F RAWKX..( But sumtymz... errs.) Onli rawk at times baHx.. Cuz da guyz alwaez make mi bao xue guan de,, Whole dae discriminate 5566 n tear their newspaper articles rite in front of mi face. Or draw on their faces n poke holes.. Wah.. Shi zai shi shou bu liao.. So childish lorhx.. Still got mani more larsh.. But nvm.. Hahaz.. Da ren bu ji xiao ren guo.. Hmmm... Dis tym we can win da notice board competittion ish got reason de lehx.. wanna noe?? Wahahaz. Dun tell u. JKJK~ Dotx.. Its bcuz i contributed SO MUCH to da notice board lehx!! Laz tym when mi neva do much den neva win.. Now when mi got contribute den win.. WAHAHAZ. Qian bian arhx.. No larx.. Datz crap. Da gong lao goes to every1.. Yepps. WE RAWK!! HeeX~
Yest WJ sms mi sae got news abt EarthQuake.. See... told u all ler marx.. Realli haf earthquake dun believe mi.. But y do i seem to be da onli one hu felt it arhx.. Weird huh.. Muz be bcuz i SpEcIaL larsh.. LOLX. bhb~
Todae oso got take class photo for Year Book.. Waaa~ Mi got phoebia of yearbook class photo ler larsh.. It RAWKZ so much dat i wanna PUKE manx.. Cant even recognise myself lorhx.. Everytym ppl wanna see hu i m den go check yrbook de.. Shuckx..Hopefully dis yr de wud turn out betta baHx.. Hmmms. For da informal shots, i actually wanted to run over to SJ dere de.. Den no tym ler. So juz faster sit on da floor.. Lyk bai chi liddat.. hahaz.. Den da second informal shot, wanted to go to LT over dere de.. In da end no tym AGAIN. Sho.. Ya.. SAT ON DA FLOOR again.. nvm nvm.. Cant be helped marx.. Hu ask da floor luv mi so much.. -.-
-_____-"
To tink dat I m actually over here blogging n chatting on msn when tomorrow is da... YAN JIANG BI SAI ler!! 0h my God!! Hao kong bu oh!! I haven even memorise da script yet.. Nuting can get into mi mind.. It's corrupted wif him.. AHHHH. Get out. Please...
I very scared lehx.. Surely make a fool outta myself tml de.. HOW?! Okies.. Wo bu neng fang qi!! ZHILIN, JIAYOU!!! God.. gimme da power.. Kkz. Thanx. Wo gan ying dao le.. Guess I go take out Renfu's pic bahx.. He wud gimme da motivation de.. HeeX~ I'll end here baHx.. Try to go memorise ler larsh.. If not realli wan dan ler. OH MAN!! I LOST MY YAN JIANG GAO!! SHEEET LARSH. HAFTA GO REWRITE LER!!
Ben dan.. ni dao di zen me le.. wei shen me bian cheng zhe ge yang zi.. wo hao nan shou, ni zhi dao ma.. suan le. fan zheng wo dui ni lai shuo shen me dou bu shi..
Btw.. pardon mi if i've not been in a good mood nowadaez kz... ~MuaCckzZz~ ^_^
[ M i s s i n g Y o u ]
Wad shud I do.. Is ignorin u da rite ting to do.. Forcing myself not tokin to u doesnt help at all.. I dun dare tok to u anymore for fear dat u wud find out even more.. Hate da way tings r now.. Lettin mi noe u is already a mistake frm da start..
Hai yao duo jiu, wo cai neng zai ni shen bian... Take care. Bye.

S.W.T

2004-07-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

Let's Give praise to the lord...
Oh aniwaez. I m shooooo happie!! My bloGgy has finally gone baq to normal lerx.. nearly went mad sia.. Dunno y yesterdae mo ming qi miao got prob, den da whole ting lyk ruined liddat.. yea manx. Now cum baq ler~
Aniwaez.. Juz now sho farnie sia.. Went for da S.W.T tingie at da church dere.. Hmmms.. We got briefed abt da purpose of S.W.T.. Den we went for dis audition in a room wif Alvin, Ken & Zac.. Harharsh.. So paisehx manx.. Had to sing lehx. Lucky first tym is sing wif another person den 2nd tym den sing SOLO. Wahsehx.. CHAO KONG BU lorhx!! Muz sing in front of dem.. plus i not v familiar wif moz of da songs marx. Heex. Dunno if can pass da audition neHx.. God BleSs..
WAHAHAZ. Sooooo farnie manx.. Everybody lyk all sho shy to sing.. Den when dey sing da tym.. Zac dey all luff.. hahaz.. so cutee. ERMX.. hahaz. Den we had to intro ourselves marx. Alvin asked mi my name.. Den i said "zhilin".. Den his reaction damn farnie.. lolx.. make mi luff lyk madz..
Okok.. nvm nvm.. Think abt it already wanna luff..
Todae go to skool da tym feel very wad lehx.. aiyeee. Nvm larsh. Dun wanna sae why..
ATTENTION!!! TML IS MEGZHE DARX 19TH BDAE LER~~!!! Sho fast.. 2 yrs past leR... Gawd Bless hiM...
Haish.. I feel dat I m drifting further n further apart frm him nowadaez.. Tink he found out leR bahx.. sho i oso dun realli dare to tok to him.. But I realli wanna tok to him de.. My hart is struggling.. I dunno wad to do..
AHHHHHHH. Fan si ler larsh. Dun wanna tink abt him leR..
Oh yar. Laz nyt mi house got slight earthquake lehx.. Can u believe it.. At first i tot is i tou yun.. Felt myself swayin here n dere.. Nearly fainted... -.- After dat, I looked up n saw dat da lights were oso shakin lyk siao lorhx.. Scare mi sia!! Mi neva eva experienced earthquake in my whole life before lehx.. Cha yi dian bei xia si sia.. hahaz. At dat tym still tokin to WeiJie n Alvin.. Tink dey found it beri absurd bahx. I myself find it too.. Wad a nitemare.. Lucky everyting's over lerx.. *WHEW*
O manx.. 2 more daez to da horrendaZ Yan Jiang Bi Sai.. Sho stressful manx.. Todae rehearse for teacher to see. Den she sae mi voice beri sweet.. ERMX.. LOLX.. Beri scary lehx.. Scared my mind will go blank on dat dae.. Surely de larsh.. Aiyeee. Still haven memorise script yet.. So cham. Feel lyk juz pretend i sick n dun cum to skool on wed manx.. But no.. I cant do dat.. Muz be responsible larsh. Lata diu 2F de lian.. Bcum hai qun zhi ma.. lolx.. sounds lyk Liu Xing Hua Yuan liddat... Hai Qun Zhi Ma woRx..
Ohhh.. Tml still got da S.W.T tingie after skool.. but mi got tutorial until lyk abt 3 lehx.. Hmmms. Den mi niceee junior oso got gimme da F.I.R concert tix.. Ish at tml 6pm.. I wanna go lehx!! But.. da place lyk beri far liddat.. Sumore I wud be goin alone.. Shud I go.. Hao mao dun oh..
Wahsehx.. Mi life ish lyk sho packed nowadaez manx.. Tues- Tutorial + S.W.T stuff.. Wed- Kor class.. Thurs- TWO Common test + Dance pract + Tuition. Fri- CCA.. 2.4KM RUN!! Sat- VJC Science Carnival.. Sunday- Tiao lou zi sha baHx.. Den nxt wk.. Wah.. Dun wanna tink abt it leRx.. Can go MAD manx.. Plus HIM stuck on mi mind.. Guess I'll break down de..
My mind is in a whirl.. Sumbody help..

2004-07-25T21:06:00.000+08:00

I asked knowin da answer. I wanted to hear it again to be hurt. When I'm hurt, it wud be easier to gif up. Yea. U succeeded. Maybe one dae, I wud gif up. N at dat tym, it's when u've really hurt mi n i can no longer take it. My hart is dying. Made a stoopid mistake by lykin u. I can feel my hart aching. It feels as though dere's a lump stuck on my hart. Feels difficulty in breathing. Does dis show dat i m gonna break down.. Hu cares. It's not da first tym aniwae. I dunno how to describe wad I'm feelin now.
U noe.. dun u? Now I appear to be lyk a fool in ur eyes. Dat wasnt wad's meant to be. My feelins r da culprit of everyting. I juz cudnt control dem n hide dem well enuf. Datz y u've found out sth dat u werent meant to. I hate u. I hate myself even more. I'm sorry.

arghx

2004-07-25T20:42:00.000+08:00

ArgH..Juz realised sth manx.. Yuan lai all along wheneva i typed "C" on msn it appeared as a pic.. Hahax. Did not realise it till WeiJie told mi juz now. LOLX. Thanx arhx.
Dere's sth wrong wif my bloggY.. Da Songx is gone. Da pop ups haf disappeared. My taGgy board is swollowed up. N my counter has went mad.. Oh wells. I'll juz hafta wait for my bloggy to recover by itself baHx.
I dun feel lyk myself lately.. I've decided not to tok sho much to him ler.. I dun tok to him, he oso wun tok to mi. Isnt dis great?
So mani test cumin up dis week.. still haf da yan jiang bi sai tingie. Enuf to drive mi craziee.
Oh.. Realised dat I've not watched Wan quan yu Le for shooo long leR. Grrr. Hate myself.
My wurld is in a mess lately.. Feel sho confused n lost. Hu understands? No one can help mi..
~*~ Sumtymz it feels Noone understands.. I dun even noe y i do da tings i do...~*~
Haish.. I m lost n noe dat i muz hide..
Now F.I.R shud be at Westmall baHx. Wanted to go to their auto sess de.. But, do i look lyk i'm in da mood to..? Aiyeee.. -Regretz n remorses- I WANNA GO!! Faye is sho nice manx.. Chao friendly de. She's so beautiful n has a powerful voice. Wad a pity.. din go see her.. Aiyee.. YiDa oso. Guessed I missin out lotsa tings bcuz of dat BenDan bahx. Forget it.. U r not to be blamed.
Shall not tok abt him leR. Realised dat my paZ few entries r pretty obvious manx.. Regret posting dose up. Shud haf juz keeped to myself n let dem be bottled up in my hart. Too late for regrets now. Wad's done has been done.
Feel sho lonely.. Wo gai zen me ban.. Ta hai bu dong.. yong yuan bu dong..
Ermx. Dunno larsh. Ta dao di dong bo dong arhx. Jiu suan dong le you zen yang arh.. Ta zhi zai hu ta. Wo shen me dou bu shi.
Realise dat nowadaez da entries all v short leR. No mood to blog. Sorrie guyx. Nvm. Tink u all shud be relieved baHx. Ur eyes r finally spared. Hahaz.

2004-07-25T18:49:00.000+08:00

[ I muz be stoopid, muz be krazy, muz be out of my mind..
To tink i said da tings i said laZ nyt...
Mirror mirror hangin on da wall..
U dun hafta tell mi, hu's da biggest fool of all..
Mirror mirror i wish u cud lie to mi..
N bring mi babY baq.. Bring my babY baq to mi... ]

Hmmms. I dunno y dis song suddenly came to mi head.. It's been stuck on mi mind since dis morning.. Maybe it suits mi mood now baHx.. Havin a headache now.. Slept at 3:30am n woke up at 7:15am.. N i slept for lyk less den 4 hrs. Cant sleep. I feel sho.. fan.. I got a feelin dat he noes leR. Did i make tings too obvious? O manx.. Shuckx. Im gonna act normal frm now onwards leR. No runnin awae. No blushin. Yepps.

AHHHHHHH!! -SCREAMZ- Hao gao xin oh!!! Kkz.. A miracle juz took place. Dun ask wad.. Heeheex.
Ermx. I've finally finished pia-ing my yan jiang bi sai gao leR.. Hahaz. Carry no hopes for it lorhx. Juz go to gain experience larsh. Aiyeee. Continue bloggin lata baHx. Head v pain..
-Red still still still Rawkx-
ATTENTION : 2 MORE DAEZ TO MENGZHE'S BDAE!!!

concert.. esplanade..

2004-07-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

I'm dead beat. Damn tired sia. Juz reached home.. N I Just came online to see if dere will be a miracle >>> To see if he was online. N lyk wad i expected, he's already in his dreamland lerx.. BradeR msg mi juz now when i was in da esplanade.. sae dat HE cum online ler.. But wad can i do? I cant possibly barge out of da concert hall n juz book a rocket n fly home rytz. To tink dat when he was finally online.. Dere I was, stuck in sum SoOoOpeR INTERESTING concert.. N its Sho AmaZing dat I cud actually survive through 1 dae without tokin to him AT ALL!
-Stands up n applauses for zhilin- THANKEW~! *curtsiez n bows*
Hmms. Mi din feel lyk goin for da concert de.. Den drag drag drag.. until 5:45 liddat. Was supposed to meet LT dey all at 6:30 de.. In da end, i took a cab n flew dere lorhx. Den i reached at 6.. N datz so very early. Mi wait dere alone for lyk almoz half an hr.. nearly went mad. Den dey finally reached leR. Da esplanade brings mi lotsa memories.. Juz cant help being sentiment dere. We went to da river dere to walk walk.. I was sho exceptionally quiet juz now. I dunno y too. My mood was juz so complicated. So complicated dat i dun even noe wad exactly m i feeling.. Wonder why.. Even jonathan oso sae " Zhilin, u usually tok a lot one. Y todae so quiet?" Haish.
Is being sad a valid reason?
Errs. Realised my outfit todae seem beri "ENERGY" or "Avril Lavringe".. Datz wad mi fwenz said larx.. hahz. Maybe baHx. Juz anyhow wear de larsh. Din noe wad to wear marx. N do i look lyk i m in da mood to go choose watta wear? Aniwaez, wad i wore juz now, ish wad Toro n FengQi lyk to see gurls wear de.. heeheex. -.-
Okies.. At da concert hall dere.. I listened to da beautiful music.. N i dunno y. Tears juz start rolling down my face. Y m i crying? Cryin for too mani tings ler. Shall not state dem out,yea? Crying usually makes one sleepy. So... my eyes juz started to get heavy, n I.. dozed off. ZzZzZzz.. Tried my best to stay awake leR. But u noe, dis kinda sleepyness is beyond control de.
Wah sehx.. I realli pei fu da musicians manx. Dey realli realli deserve our applause. Heex. Clapped sho loud for dem. But, if u asked mi wad i looked forward to most in da concert.. I wud sae... da ENDING. Hahahz~ BaddY mi.. Too tired leR marx. It wun be nice to let dem see their audience fallin asleep ryt? HarharsH. Da performers sho CuTe lehx. After dey play finish da last piece of song, dey go ENCORE by demselves lehx. Ermx.. Dat was nice of dem.. hehex. =XxX
OH.. Forgot to mention dat every1 looked GREAT todae. Heex. Esp mi beloved frenx, Valerie, Serene n HuiYi Etc..OH.. As well as HuiYun, LiTing & Tingz~ =) Hahz. Too mani BeLoVeD ler larsh.. Oh yar, n not to forget ME! -ERMX-
After da performance, we went to HMV go see see.. Den mi go listen Awei's new album.. At first, I tot i was listenin to da wrong CD lehx.. Cos da voice dat i heard didnt sound lyk his AT ALL! But.. Dat was his song wadz.. N i was so shocked to realise dat he sound so damn different frm his first album lorhx!! I dun exactly noe if its nicer nortx.. but, i still cant believe datz him.. So incredible~ But I feel v xin wei to noe dat he has made a beri large improvement in his singing ler. CongraTz woR honeY~~
Val's dad was v nice.. He gave us a LIFT bacK.. Y didnt he gif us an ELEVATOR? -DOTX- Yayy. Saved mi frm dozing off in da MRT. Den i alighted first. Sumwhere near mi hse dere.. THANX VAL PAPA~
Den at da bus stop dere, got one malay guy cycle past. After dat, he turned baq n stared at mi. Den he made dose kinda pervertic kissing sounds. N WHISTLED lyk a si bian tai.. WARGH~ I m sho absolutely DISGUSTED manx. Y din he juz bump into da tree in front when he looked baq manx! Dis kinda ppl.. juz noe how to flirt wif CHIOBUS de. LOLX. Yuan lai, after tokin sho much craBx, da main point dat i wan to convey to u all is..TaaTaas ---> *CHIOBUS*= ME!!! -AHEM~ O well, 4get it. Realise dat dis entry sounds so solemn. So juz wanted to add sum lame-ness into it? *SmiLeXxxX*
GREAT. I suddenly realised dat it's 4 more daez to da Yan jiang bi sai ler.. or shud i sae.. 3? Cos it's already past 12am lerX. Oh. I m already in tomorrow. no I mean TODAY... TODAY is already TOMORROW~
Wait, i m confusing myself. STOP!!
WAh, din realise dat it's sho late ler.. AHHHHH !!! I haf not prepared da speech yet! Ermx.. Not exactly haven prepare at all larsh.. I wrote lyk.. 2 n a half sentences.. Is it counted?? ARGH~ Mondae muz rehearse for teacher to see leR. WAN DAN LARX!!! ZEN ME BAN?!?! HeeeeeeeeeeLp!!!
I remembered dat i was tired de.. But y arent i sleeping? Wad m I doin here? M I waiting for him? OH ZhiLin! Face da fact dat he's gone. Go to sleep my dear.
WoW~ I m actually tokin to myself huhs? Haish. Shud i juz wait till da nxt mornin for him to cum online.. which is juz lyk 11 more hrs ONLI? Perhaps he wud be online at nite tml.. Shud i wait all da way till nite den? ---siaoz---
Nvm. I shall go find u in my dReamLand.. I'm comin deaR~ LOLX. Nitex ppl. May u all find ur happiness soon. Seems lyk everyone has already found it..? Except mi.. =J
~*~ ReD RawKzZzzZzz.. ZzZzZ...~*~
ATTENTION : 2 moRe daeZ to MENGZHE DarX 19th BDAE!! Aww.. Every1 is gettin further n further frm mi leR. Look at mi n Renfu.. We r 10 yrs apart.. But on 18 August to 27 August.. We wud onli be 9 yrs apart.. After 28 August.. Da gap wud widen to 10 yrs ler.. -sobx-
My perspective of luv : Da Age doesnt matter. Wad matters most is a true hart.
PS: I stil dun hear mi bloggY songx.. Where did it go to..?! Aiyee. Cum baq...

yida!!!

2004-07-24T16:06:00.000+08:00

[ Y I D A ---->   D   A    D   A ]
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Oh My gAwd!! Juz received msg frm YT.. she sae dat YiDa juz now got perform at TM!! OH NO! Y din i noe!!! Shuckx. Feel lyk killin myself manx. N accordin to her, dere were lyk onli 50 fans.. ARGH! So little ppl lorhx.. If onli i haf went.. Can let YiDa remember mi. hahaz. -.- Wonder if he still remembers mi nortZ. It's been lyk.. ONE year ler.. Hahaz.. Da other tym mi n my fren had dis chao long conversation wif him at da Lee Wei Song music skool dere.. muahahaz. Laz yr he was still sorta a "nobody"..? Den now.. WAHSEHX. Feel sho proud for DaDa~~ HeeX. DaDa.. Jiayou woR~~!
OH MY GOD!! My kuzzin juz showed mi dis dead lizard.. N he's lyk luffin lyk mad now..Aiyeee cHiLdIsH.. but still cute lars. lolx~ O MAN.. It's so disgusting lorhx.. Da body stiff stiff de. N it's WHITE in colour! Haf u eva seen a WHITE lizard?? I wonder if da lizard got go put make-up before it comitted suicide manx.. I tink arh, muz be da lizard wanna look pretty, den go put lotsa powder. Suo yi cai Bcum liddat. *DOTX* Wah. I m totally disgusted siaz. -freakz out- Feel lyk vomitting now.. Y lemme see dat lizard!! Dun make mi vomit out yesterdae's dinna manx. Oh, did i even eat dinna yesterdae? Dun tink sho baHx.. Got no appetite.
Haish. Everytym sumbody cums online. My hart will skip a beat.. Hopin sho much to see his nick be da one dat flashed.. But.. NO. I've seen more den 20 tymz da msn icon flashed ler lorhx. But of all these nicks, none of dem is da one I'm waitin for..
~*~ 3 Hrs haf passed.. He is still not online... How long more muz i wait..~*~
Da moz.. i can onli wait for another 1 hr plus.. cuz hafta leave for da esplanade soon ler. =/
S       I         A       N       Z
I wanna go to da city link mall de CD Rama buy da Fireworks Shirt.. I scared sold out leR. If realli sold out ler, den mi WAN DAN nehx. Need it...
Hermx. Jun reminded mi of dis v kewt quote... "You le Kenkki Shen cha, Fan nao Sayoooo Nara!" CUTE RYTZ. Hehex. Stella sho cute. Haish. Nth else ler bahx. Nutin to do. Feel lyk juz switchin off da com n go watch TV! But.. I guess I cant bear to leave baHx. So.. I shall continue starin at da com screen.. Waitin for da familiar nick to flash..
Oopz. I cant hear mi blog song lehx.. Ish dere sth wrong? Grrrr..
*RED RAWKX. Bcuz of him.*

hermx

2004-07-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

[Juz Off Every Light ----> Ben Dan...]
Din feel lyk blogging todae.
In fact, I dun feel lyk bloggin anymore. FOREVA. Feel lyk juz deleting my whole blog manx. Everydae's entry is revolving all around HIM. N everydae i will be repeatin abt da same stuff. I noe dat. But i juz cant help it. Argh~ I'm sorrie if i sound so luv-sick nowadaez. Realli sorrie. I cant stand myself either.
Wells.. Yesterdae, he went offline.. without sayin bye AGAIN ! Is it juz so difficult for u to type 3 simple letters on ur keyboard? N, we din tok much too.. I m so tired of waitin for him to start a conversation leR. Everytym i cum online, he is NEVA EVA da first to sae hi de.. N i alwez wait, wait n wait.. But NO.. He din sae ANYTING. So, expectedly, i wud haf to initiate da "hi" de.. ALWAYS. U noe mi de.. I cant possibly juz heck abt it de rytz. N i wun wan to wait for da whole dae for him n juz sae nothing when i see him too.
I juz feel sad. Y m i not her. Da one he luvs. Y m i ME? Da one he HURTS.
Wo bu gan yuan.. ta dui wo lai shuo na me de zhong yao. Dan wo dui ta lai shuo, zhi shi ge pu tong peng you er yi. Zai ta yan li zhi you TA, yong yuan dou bu hui you wo..
OH FORGET IT.
Juz came baq frm skool.. got dance juz now. AND... I saw him. But i dun tink he saw mi. Seems to be everytym when i tink of him, he wud appear. How amazing... Din haf betta luck den dis before..
Lata got dis musical concert at da esplanade.. Dun feel lyk goin lehx. Not in da mood to.. N i wanna wait by my computer for him to cum online.. Will he? Scared by da tym i reach home he already slp leR.. HOW?! ARGH! HU CARES ABT HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ='(
Da concert shud be will end very late.. 1 person go home v scary lehx. Haish. Nvm. Da best is sum KIND soul cum kidnap mi. N sell mi to outer space baHx. Dere will be no HIM dere. How nice wud it be! No more cryin for him. No more...
But it seems that no matter where i am, what I do, he is stuck on my mind! -GET OUT-
Hmmms. Mommie QZ just said " I can see that u r hurt". N he's not da onli one hu haf realised dat.. It seems da whole wurld can understand except HIM. He din once ask miANYTING abt it. Din ask mi hu i was reffering to in my nick n blog either. So terribly hart brokened manx. Y is he juz so insensitive to da ppl arnd him.. Maybe juz to HER bahx.
Though its good enuf juz to be his fren. But i dun wan to bu juz a friend to him. Cant i juz be sum1 more important to u. I dun mind if 99% of uR hart is wif her.. I juz wan dat 1%.. It's impossible. I noe. But I'll still work hard for ya.. do u even haf da 1% to spare mi? I doubt so.
U noe i m refferin to u.. How cud u do dis to mi.. Cant u juz gif others a chance too.. It isnt fair. To me.. Wad do i get in return after givin mi hart to ya. Nothing. Juz tears. Pain.
Da dae when i stop mentionin abt him anymore. Is da dae dat i haf managed to gif up.
~*~Ben Dan, Wei le ni, wo shen me dou yuan yi zuo. Wo bu pa si, wo zhi pa wo si le yi hou, jiu mei you ren xiang wo yi yang ai ni le.. ~*~
I really feel like giving up. Everyting's so pointless. What should I do? Maybe time will do the wonders? So.. all I can do now, is to tell myself to hold on.
Just wanna let u noe, Red still rawkz. ='/ -sadded-

missing u...

2004-07-23T20:40:00.000+08:00

O manx.. I m in luV wif pink even more now.. hahaz.. red + white = pink.. Yepps. He made Pink rawk sho much lorhx.. Actually, it's red larsh. hahaz. dun tink u noe wad i m tokin abt bahx.. Nvm.. u need not noe. HeeX~ Errrs. Do i appear to be mad to u all?? SumbodY sae i siao siao de, v scary.. Make mi sho hurt lorhx.. Mi ish not siao lars.. tink juz over-lame ler baHx. If u noe mi well, u wud understand.. Wells.. datz not important larsh..
Todae.. saw him for.. 4 tymx..? Yea. Is dat supposed to be good.. or bad ne? Realise dat my tyming alwaez v zun de.. mei ci dou gang gang hao kan dao ta de.. Ish dis fate? Of all da 4 tymx dat i saw him.. tink he onli saw mi once baHx. Mi sho jing zhang when saw him.. Wonder how he felt when he saw mi.. Cos his expression on his face..lyk.. eRRz. I oso dunno how to describe larsh. Tink wo xiang tai duo ler baHx. Sorry. But mi can see him happie enuf ler. Doesnt matter whether he saw mi anort... But dat statement isnt exactly true lars.. Sumtymx, i realli hoped dat he saw mi.. In fact.. it's everytym bahx. =X At least i noe dat i haf existed in his eyes at dat moment... Argh~ Wad a stoopid reason huh..
Todae Founder's dae arh.. Was shooo INTERESTING manx. Soo interesting dat i nearly fell off da chair while dozing off..ZzZzZ... First.. we waited in da hall for sooo long. Den, Mr Wang gave dis so AMUSING speech! N i tried my beZ to bear wif it lorhx.. After dat ne, Da special guest gave a speech dat was actually LONGER den Mr Wang's de lorhx. WAh, realli beri SPECIAL sia! He toked for almoz an hr bahx.. Or issit more den dat? Den when i finally heard him sae " Lastly.. before i end.." ...I SCREAMED~ LOLX! I was lyk " YAYY! He's finally ending ler!!" N i cud feel dunno how mani pairs of eyes staring at mi manx.. N Yunzhi was lyk laughin her head off at mi.. Got so farnie marx? Hermx.
OH!! Dance RAWKED manx!! Cheered so loud for dem neHx. Feel sho proud of mi fellow frenx lorhx.. Dey realli v BANG lehx!! Heeez. We wud be performin for National Day too.. N i can tell u dat our dance rawkz to da core manx!! Wahahaz.. Jing qing qi dai lo...
After da Founder's Dae concert, Mi went wif Brader ( BroTheR) men go Bedok da Mac deRe maKan maKan~ After dat mi rush baQ to skool for dance pract.. N i was half an hr late.. Aiyee~ Feel sho paisehx. hahaz. On mi way to da hall.. saw him.. or rather dem. harharsh. Heng he neva see mi. =X Den durin dance pract da tym, steffi kept on callin mi. Cuz havin CCa marx, so cant answer. Den i reject for abt 4 tymx? At da 5th tym, mi pick up, n den heard other ppl tokin at da background. I was lyk "Hello? Hellooooooo?!!" ARGH~ Den i put down lorhx. Den i msged her n she said dat she accidentally call de. Aiyoz, steffi, no need find excuses lar.. Wanna hear mi LOVELY voice den sae so larsh. WAHAHAZ. Oopz. Betta stop laming ler. Lata sumbody sae mi siao siao again. O, nvm. Aniwaez he wun visit mi blog de. Not to worry..
-Fast ForwaRd- Dance Dance Dance.. den suddenly see AHEM n company outside.. Wah sehx. -FROZE- I went to hide myself immediately. Hahaz. But hide at a corner where still can see him larsh~ Knowin dat he's outside made mi sho distracted.. den i didnt manage to learn da dance steps..Hai wo lyk blur-fish liddat when had to dance for da seniors to see.. Dui lian si leR.. Nvm.. it's worth it.
OKAE. I tot i haf already decided dat todae's entry is not goin to haf ANYTING to do wif HIM de.. But.. Argh~ Shud i delete dis entry?? But i spent sho much tym bloggin on dis lehx.. oopz. Wad's done has been done.. Paisehx woR~
Fine FINE. Enuf of dat ben dan ler..
Great.. He's still not online.. haish. Seems to be repeating dis sentence almoz everydae baHx. N he alwaez seem to cum online after i haf blogged. (oopz. tot i juz said dun wanna tok abt him ler?) So.. I shall STOP bloggin now baHx!!! -DIAOZ-
Oh.. shall change mi bloggY song 1st.. cuz mi daRx Gaoyan dun seem to lyk it.. hehex, See mi sho nice, change it juz for U woR. Honoured? harharx. Oh, Speak of da devil. She's online ler! hahaz.. Byeeee~

renfu lao gong

2004-07-22T20:22:00.000+08:00

ARGH~ Mi typed dis entry dunno for how mani tymz ler! Com keep on hanging sia.. Grrr.. Make mi needa keep on retypin! Dis is da 4th tym lers. Dere betta not be a 5th. LOLZ~

Haish.. mi miss Renfu darx sho much.. dis few wkz got no extra brain space to tink of him leR.. Cos mi whole mind is completely corrupted by U-Noe-Hu.. Aiyeee.. Sorrie FuFu.. lolx..

So, mi decided to post up dis shuai shuai pix of mi daRx.. which was taken at da hospital on da dae Xiao Fu Fu was borned..But..BUT.. Y ish our baby made of wood de..??!! N our Baby's face looks so.. spastikk~ -sobz- Look at how much renfu dotex our baby.. Awww~ Wad a lovely father n a nice hubbY he is manx! -___-"

Hehex. Knewi wud neva regret mi decision to bcum Wang Tai Tai de. LOLX. -R u freezing?- Renfu looks so cuteee manx! -faintz- If onli i was da baby dat he's huggin.. yepps. In my dreamz.. But dreamx will cum true one dae de.. As long as u believe in it.. N i do. Errrs.. sorrie i v noe i beri BHB.. Mi practically gone mad ler. yea.. AGAIN. Shou dao le tai da de da ji bahx.. Pardon mi..Todae update 3 entries. hehex. Mi sho sianx. Wait for him sho long ler but he still not online. ArgH~ If u dun cum online by 1am i m not gonna wait for u ler larx!! Yest bcuz of u, make mi no mood to study for maths test todae.. Den todae mi practically left 2 whole qns BLANK. Each qn arnd 9 marks ONLI?! Prepared to fail ler larx.. Sho dead manx.. lyk as if mi grades not bad enuf ler.. Chao slack n distracted dis yr lorhx.. Muz jia you ler larx! Need motivation.. hu gif mi ne? No one.. haish. God baHx..

Yayys.. tml ish Founder's Dae.. Dance will be performin woR.. Doin sum kinda chinese dance. Heng i not involved in it. LOLX~ Muz duo duo zhi chi dance tml woR~ N tml no need crawl up sho earlie ler! Cos 8 plus or 9 plus den needa reach marx. Hahaaz. Mi too distracted ler, so neva listen carefully... Hmms.. shud i change mi blog song.. =P Dun 4get to read da other 2 entries horx.. hehex. mi type until v xing ku de nehx.. ^_^

RenFu, ni yong yuan shi wo de zui ai..bu guan ai ni you duo nan. Wo de xin zhi xiang shu yu ni...
~*~ MiSsIn Ya ~*~

Mi DarX RenFu..N our babY! =X Luv Ya honeY.. Fuuu~ *MuaCkZ*

mi n fengqi..

2004-07-22T18:39:00.000+08:00

Errrs.. See any familiar faces in dis pic? Hmmms. Duhh.. other den fengqi ne.. okies. stop lookin ler. B4 u spot sumbody..wahahahaz. FINE. i look so damn yuckky in dis pic lorhx. Da camera realli RAWKZ manx.. Make mi face look lyk a monstaa dere!! Grrrr..

Eh eh.. Do i look good in da yellow shirt n da pokka dotx skirt? DOTX~ Mi shou le tai da de da ji.. eat eat eat.. den bcum liddat le lorhx.. wahahahaz~ Expand by 3 sizes.. Frm SMALL to EXTRA LARGE! ERms.. Not farnie.. Aiyars..mi da one standin beside Darx QiQi larsh.. hehex. Dun need find ler larsh! Jiu shi da onli chio bu in da pic lorhx. JKJK~ But wo ye hao kan bu dao na li qu lar! Arghx~ Feel lyk crashin da com when i see dis pic sia.. hehex.. No larsh. Mi v civilised de.. Though i look v Errrs.. But Wad matters most is Fengqi shuai shuai can ler..

Wah sehx.. when takin da photo dat tym mi hart nearly jumped outta mi mouth lorhx.. so jing zhang sia.. fengqi is juz lyk 3 cm awae frm mi.. N i dun dare lean close close to him nehx.. But dat was mi onli chance.. so i juz tried to get as close to him as possible lorhx. BHB rytz.. hu cares.. at least got a photo of mi n him can ler.. Da rest all so EXTRAded de.. lolx. jkjk~

Remember, dun stare too long at da photo horx.. lata u faint, go call da ambulance urself woR..-self service- =X Hmms.. ONE more entry to go!! Jiayou~ Muz read fiN woR~ hahaz. Mi lyk forcin u all liddat. NO RYT? Is u all zi yuan de rytz?? Wahahaz. DIAOZ~

FengQi daRx n CHIOBU men.. lolx..Or shud i sae..Chiobu.. LOLX! onli got ONE marx.. -diaoz- da one in yellow, yea?

Renfu hoNey..

2004-07-22T18:10:00.000+08:00

I hate myself. I sark. ( But i realli lyk myself sumtymz lehx..) =X I realli dun understand mi lehx..Ming ming hen xiang kan dao ta de, but everytym see him ler will run awae.. appeared to be lyk an idiot in front of him juz now again.. Argh~ Y did i tao bi him again.. hao bu rong yi cai kan dao ta de.. Din see him for da first 8 hrs n 16 mins of skool todae.. until da later part of da dae.. He FINALLY appeared.. N i was kinda shocked lorhx.. Y did i run awae.. stoopid mi. Din realise dat dis wud onli make tings more obvious.. Sheeet. But i juz cant help it lorhx. When see him dat tym, my natural instincts will juz tell mi to siam de lorhx.. Guess i juz lack da courage to face him baHx. Juz feel sho paiseh lorhx.. Which gurl wun feel shy when dey see da person dey lyk ryt.. Aiyarx. Dun kare ler larx! Nxt tym see him MUZ NOT run awae ler.. juz act normal baHx.. Shud i sae hi.. Hafta try to force it outta my mouth baHx.. Wud he sae hi baq.. Wad if he doesnt.. aiyeee. Dun wanna tink sho much ler lar. Juz noe dat i muz not make tings too obvious.

I realli envy HER & Another HER a lot lorhx.. Dey r so close to dem.. mi lehx.. dey walk past mi sumtymz dun even bother to look de.. maybe i too chio ler baHx?? LOLx. To tink dat i m still in da mood to lame now. Errrs. Juz ignore wad i haf juz said kz. I m out of mi mind ler. If he said hi to mi or juz smile when we see each other jiu hao ler.. but no.. everytym pass by each other i dun even dare to look at him de.. Ben Dan, juz wad m i to u? Juz a normal fren marx.. It's lyk.. duhh lorhx.. how can it be more den frenz when he already has sum1 he lykz sooo much ler. He has realli won my admiration.. Cuz i noe dat he is dose kinda ppl hu dun juz go for looks de.. to him, character is more impt bahx.. ryt? I hate ppl hu judge a book by its cover de.. To mi, it's da inside dat's impt.. looks r not everyting.. Dey r juz superficial.. So wad if u haf da looks but ur inside is rotten.. No offence.. But dis is juz wad i feel. I'm sure almoz all of u agree wif mi bahx.. =XxX

Wad can i do to get closer? I dun wish to let u noe.. cos i'm afraid dat we cant even be frenz after u've known.. So i m tryin mi best to supress mi feelins all dis while.. U noe how difficult ish dat.. I juz cant help wonderin.. how wud u feel if u noe dat i lyk u.. Wud u juz treat mi as another idiot dat lyks u.. or... I hope to be special to u.. N juz haf a little place in ur hart will do.. I cant do anyting to da fact dat u lyk her.. but.. i juz hope to mean a little sumting to u.. Dat wud be enuf ler. I dun expect much. realli..

I'm sorry. Sorry for running away from you. Sorry for loving u wrongly. Sorry for my existance. Sorry for making u guyz read all these luv sick entries for da past few wks, n bearing with mi throughout.. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Wo bu nan guo, zhe bu suan shen me.. Zhi shi wei shen me yan lei hui liu, wo ye bu dong.. I realli hope dat i cud gif up n pretend dat i neva knew ur existance.. I forced myself to hate u so mani tymz.. Do u tink i succeeded?? If I did, i wun be here typin dis entry anymore. Face da fact. I m realli in luv wif u leR.

Ming ming hen ai ni.. Ming ming xiang kao jing...

wanna die ler lar

2004-07-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

How do I feel todae?? W-E-I-R-D... Dun ask mi y.. hate dis kinda feelin.. lyk wanna cry but ku bu chu.. v xing ku lorhx.. Todae ah.. realli got lotsa tings happen... zhen de hen duo.. But, i dun feel lyk tokin abt most part of it. Cos it's all abt HIM~ Yarsh. Him AGAIN.
Todae Racial Harmony Dae was rather sarkky lars...Was drizzling earlier on.. Den i so worried dat all our preparations wud go to waste.. Den i sat down quietly n prayed to god.. after praying praying praying.. Guess god haf heard mi prayer baHx.. It stopped rainin not long after.. Thanx god! Luv ya~ I realli cant stand myself manx.. ming ming hen xiang kan dao ta.. but when see him da tym.. alwaez bi kai de.. Den after dat when he is gone, alwaez blame myself..N regret y muz hide frm him.. haish.. zhen shou bu liao wo zi ji!!
Hmmm. I was dazin arnd.. den suddenly got 2 guyz quarrelin in front of mi.. I was lyk... totally shocked~ All da F word arh.. n etc etc.. *CENSORED* all shoot outta their mouths.. N one of dem was lyk clenching his fist, ready to punch down on da other guy.. HE v notorious in sec 2 de larsh.. v scary..Gangstaaa~~ Wad if he is readin dis? WOW~ Den tml will be my turn to die ler. O man..God bless.. Dey realli very scary lehx!! Den suddenly on one of da guy's back got bee.. den i cant help screamin " EEeeEE~~ Beeeeee!!" ( Mi chao scared of inscects de!) Den dat guy suddenly frm so gangsterish bcum so innocent.. N he said "huh..where?" LOLX.. wahliewz.. at least I managed to make peace between dem for a while marX.. *WHEW*
Haish.. I felt so.. YucKKy in da malay costume juz now lorhx.. lyk bai chi liddat.. ARGH~ So half way da tym, i went to change baq to PE.. felt betta~ wonder y other ppl still can actually sae it's nice lorhx.. *VoMiTz* =XxXxx Waited for gaoyan after skool for 2 hrs plus.. nth to do.. So i went wif chu chu n xing hui to da canteen dere.. den we saw Alvin n zac dey all.. hahaz. Alvin approached chu n toked to her abt da SWT tingie.. Den i curious marx. so stand at da baQ n listen oso lorhx.. HeeX.. Chu n XH din seem v interested, huh? But mi quite interested lehx. LOLX. EX-traded. Actually laZ tym mi sorta in SWT de.. but after dat dunno y.. stop goin ler.. yar. liddat lor. Den zac gave us da forms to fill up if we wanna join.. N he onli gave 2 when dere were 3 of us.. guess i dun exist in his eyes baHz. wahahaz. hu cares aniwae?? GY arhx.. dun kare abt sum beeech hu join sum tingie wif sum beeechy intention kz! (Now mi blog is revolvin arnd da beeech) Dun gif up.. i believe he wun de lar.. Sickko beeech. After all, beeches r not his type ryt? If it is, den he's not worth it at all. yeppz.
Haiz.. why.. why..why..!! WHY IS DA WURLD SO UNFAIR??!! Y muz he already haf sumone he lykz.. y muz i juz be an ordinary fren to him. Y cant i eva be da one by his side.. y m i so deeply in luv wif dat BEN DAN!! Argh~~ So mani tings haf made mi wanna gif up. REALLI. I dunno how mani tymz i haf made up mi mind dat i wan to gif up ler.. N how mani tymz i haf shouted dat i hate him.. Teach mi how to gif up.. teach mi how to change luv into hate.. Dun tear mi hart apart anymore. it's ripped rite till da end ler. Shattered into pieces... dying.. Neva knew da power of luv cud be soo strong.. HE has affected my life soo much. But he is not da least affected by mi at all.. wad m i to him? Wo shi ni shen me ren..
M i realli lyk wad GY haf said.. A fren dat he treasures alot.. N he is already being v nice to mi compared to da others.. i dunno.. does HE feel dat way? Dun tink sho baHx. Cant juz make assumptions liddat.. if onli he cud tell it to mi personally.. I guess.. da onli way for mi to gif up.. is to let him tell mi straight in da face dat he doesnt lyk mi baHx.. But even so, i still dun tink i can convince myself to gif up. Da prob is not wif mi. It's wif mi hart. It's no longer within my control ler.. Dis tym is an exception. I dunno y too.. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! -Screamz at da top of my lungs- I dunno. dunno. dunno. Dun wanna tink abt anyting. Anymore.
He's not online. He din reply mi. Forget it. Mi whole dae is taken awae by him again.. tml still got maths common test.. N i haf not studied at all lorhx. N i sark at dat graph chapt. Dun even understand a single ting lorx.. cos when teacher is teachin all dis while, this 2 weeks.. i haf not been listening in class at all.. I guess u noe y ler baHx. Dun wanna sae ler. i'm tired of repeating myself everydae. Prepared to fail maths test tml le larx. Ben Dan, jia you for ur test tml... Whether u r readin dis or not. Whether u noe i m refferin to u or not.. i wanna tell u.. Wo zhen de hao xi huan ni. Hao xiang fang qi.. Hao lei.. Hao xing ku.. Ni liao jie wo de gan shou ma? Bu.. ni yong yuan dou bu hui dong de.. ='(

happie

2004-07-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

=) I guess i sure do feel much betta now.. hehex.. at least i've started laughin lyk usual again.. thanx for makin mi laugh.. {*}{*} hehex.. WhoA..~ realised dat dis looks rather lyk.... *Errs*... okies, nvm..
Is happiness nearing?? I dunno.. n i dun tink so.. i've got a feelin dat dis hapiness can neva stay long within mi.. It wud slowly fade off n be replaced wif sadness sooN.. Argh~ Nvm, i shall cherish all da happiness dat i haf now. yepps.
Aniwaez, thanx GY.. N ben dan.. hehex.. Gy said sth dat realli made mi feel much betta.. She told mi " I tink he likes u alot. AS A FREN. " Yea.. As a FREN... N she oso said " I tink he treasures u alot...." Blah.. hehex.. shall not reveal too much of our conversation.. lata xian lou ma jiao jiu wan dan ler~ Hmms. tink we tink too much ler baHx. Ta zhen de zhen xi wo marx? I dun tink so baHx.. but i realli do hope so~ =X
I realli REALLY hope dat he cherishes mi as a fren.. juz a freN wud do.. at least i noe dat i m sumthing to him.. N i haf a small place in his hart.. as a good fren?? Dat'll be good enuf. N i guess datz all dat i can ask for baHx. I noe dat it's impossible for mi to be da one by his side.. but i hope dat i can be a friend dat he cherishes, n watch over him secretly.. without him knowin.. ='(
After tokin to him, I realli feel much much betta ler.. i hope i m not v fan to him baHx.. hehex.. shall try to tok lesser nxt tym.. BUT, i m Neva gonna force myself to not tok to him or gif up lykin him anymore.. Cosh it's realli very painful to do so.. N pointless as well.. I cant do it.. N after all, it doesnt help.. it onli makes mi feel more miserable.. N, i haf sorted out my tinkings ler.. i realsied dat dere is nuting wrong in lykin sumbody.. even if it's juz a dan lian or an lian.. As long as it doesnt harm anybody can ler. N i haf da freedom to lyk anyone.. y muz i force myself not to lyk him.. hao xing ku. I still hafta act soooo.. err.. -u noe- in front of him.. 'm tryin my best not to show dat i care.. n oso not to show wad i feel for him ish more den juz frenz..
Haish.. i'll try to walk out of da sad wurld dat i m living in now.. Shall let him bring light to mi wurld.. neva gonna gif up.. neva..
He's gone. Try to get sum slp baHx. Tryin to break mi record of not slpin at 1am todae ler.. muz slp by 12:59! LOLX.. -diaoz- May gawd bless mi, HIM, n everybody.. all of my frenz.. as well as dose dat i dunno.. hope dat everybody can be HappiE~ can I ? hermx.. Since u all r already so happy ler, so i suppose u all dun needa uR share of blessing ler rytz?? Den plz gif it to mi baHx..!! I realli need it.. hahaz.. lameee~~
Guess changin off da sadZ song realli did help.. all thanx to Stella's [Wen Yu].. It did da miracle.. RawkZzz~~ kkz..Nitex peepz.. hope dat tomorrO wud be a betta dae.. may da smile on mi face neva fade awae anymore.. MuAckkz~~ Luv ya.. NOT YOU larsh.. ish mi DARX Ben Dan.. LOLX, jkjk~ Luv ya guyx as well.. c yaaa~~ Mi go break record leR.. GawD BleSs~! ^_^
-tired-

] 0 3 1

2004-07-20T20:00:00.000+08:00

HaisH... HaiX.. Sigh.. Wo tan qi.. ying wei ni..
Todae life seems as meaningless as before.. Maybe more meaNingleSs den yesterdae, da dae b4 yesterdae, da day b4 yesterdae's yesterdae, da dae b4 yesterdae's yeasterdae's yesterdae... bLaH~ Yeppx. Which simply means everydae..
Dere was nooo shadoW of him anywhere todae..n i haf not seen him or toked to him for one whole dae leR!! AHHHHHHHH~! Todae in skool kept on tinking abt him.. hopinG shooo much to seee him, though knowin dat he will neva appear..
ArGhx~ Realise everydaez entry alwaez revolving arnd him de.. But... my life ish all abt him.. he has invaded my mind, my thoughts, my hart. My... EVERYTING. Wad cud i do?
Fine. fine. FINE. I shall not tok abt him leR.. Make mi feel shooo..... Argh~ AHHHHHHHHHH!! I'm D O O M E D.. I guess wo zhen de dong le zhen xin leR.. Expected it to be juz a HuA Chi CrUsH.. BuT..... Gawd...
Oh man.. how much distracted can i get manx.. I mistook toothpaste as soap n used soap as shampoo dis morning.. N now.. i even mixed up da cons between boon tiong n dione.. I was askin dem wad dey wearin tml, den dey both oso wearing EuRaSian costume marx.. Den i tot dat i was tokin to Dione(when i was actually tokin to boon tiong) n asked him if he was goin to wear a skirt... wow~ So paiseh manx.. Nvm, i can save my face by sayin dat i was juz being lame.. yeppz. Wah sehx.. BT so smart sia.. ask him guess wad i wearing tml, n he immediately guess correct leR!! His description ish soo detailed n exact. lolx. How cum arh..? Dun tell mi he gen zong wo yesterdae when i went to buy da clothes... Whoa~ LOLX. jkjk~~
Hmmms. Tml ish da racial harmony dae tingie leR. B4 dat we still haf PE lehx!! MY GAWD~ Imagine having to change into da costume after PE!! So sweaty n sticky.. EeEkZ~~ WO BU YAO!!! Wahliewx.. can i juz break mi leg now, so dat tml can skip da torturous PE.. ArgH~ Eh eH peepz.. remember muz go 2F stall n support woR.. wahahaz.. BHB~ juz make sure u dun vomit when u see mi can leR. lolx..
Errs. Gaoyan.. U find da song u hearin now familiar marx?? Hehex.. RawkX rytz?? Perhaps listenin to [Wen Yu] can make one's mood betta baHx.. Stella's voice is shoo SWEET!! N she ish shooo Cuteee!! Juz lyk mi.. wahahaz. -____-"
Wah.. juz now got dance.. N we had to stand under da freakin hot sun to practice lorhx.. i was practically BURNING u noe.. U cud fry an egg on mi den.. Aiyar.. mi dun wanna bcum more Chao Taaaaa ler larx.. lata mei ren yao.. hahaz.. ben lai jiu shi le marx.. lolx.. We hafta perform for National Day lehx.. hehex. YaYYs~~ DaNcE RAWKZ man!!
Do i sound.. HAPPY..? YES! I AM!!.. I REALLI am.. So happy... very happy.. yea. ='( No use de.. Dis dun help either.
Ben Dan!! Wo deng ni hao jiu le lar! Xiang ni xiang dao kuai feng diao leR!! Ni zai na li..

Dan shi wo cun zai zhe.. wo yi zhi cun zai zhe.. =[ Wo chi chi deng...

~*~ 7 moRe daeZ to... MengZhe Darx B'daE... *~*

W A I T I N G . . .

sarkz

2004-07-19T22:22:00.000+08:00

ARGH! Juz now blog half way n everting is goneeee!!.. not in da mood now to retype everyting again. so i juz cut short wad i wanna sae baHx..
Juz now went to GEYLANG to buy malay costume for da Racial Harmony Day.. Wah.. V wasted lorhx.. buy n wear for juz one dae.. Still may cause lotsa innocent passer-bys to vomit.. So sorrie, but cant be helped marx. So ST JOHNs.. muz get ready at da side of our stall horx.. Haish.. not farnie.. No mood to lame around too..
Heyz peepx, remember to cum down to our stall n patronise kz! Yi yan wei ding oh!! N over dere, i actually met sum 2B gals n MDM CHOW!.. so dui lian lorhx.. haish. was practically hiding mi face manx.. fancy meeting AHS peepz dere.. wad a small world sia~
Haish.. nxt wed got yan jiang bi sai audition.. n i m IN lorhx.. muz go prepare speech. Argh~ Tink no need baHx.. I can juz tok abt how stoopid i m baHx.. n how much i saRk.. yepps.
Hmms.. was nearly late todae, but it's worth it lar.. lolx.. Nvm abt da reason.. -diaoz-
i'm in such a lousy mood now lorhx.. Yea. no doubt. It's all bcuz of him again. Juz now got tok to him abit online.. haish. tink it was da con dat brought down mi mood baHx.. It seems as though everytym after i tok to him mi mood wud drop v drastically de lorhx.. Yea. I admit dat i'm happie to see him online n being able to tok to him.. But i alwaez get reminded of da painful fact dat in his hart, dere'll onli be her.. NO ME~ N here i m.. refusin to let go, juz lyk a fool. It's not dat i haf not tried to gif up.. But da ting ish dat.. it's realli not easy.. if it's juz a crush.. maybe bcuz of his looks.. it wud be easier to si xin de.. but dis tym.. i guess wo zhen de xi huan shang ta de ren ler baHx.. I neva eva expected myself to lyk him de.. But.. i oso dunno y.. God made mi meet da wrong person again.. wad's da purpose for dis arrangement? For mi to get hurt again.. wells.. thanx for da kind tot den.. Haish.. I feel sickkkk.. LuV sicK..? Nah.. I'm not even in luv.. Dis ish juz yi xiang qing yuan. An Lian de zi wei zhen de bu hao shou.. ni zhi dao ma? Bu.. ni bu zhi dao. ying wei ni gen ben dou be dong, you ge bai chi yi jing ai shang ni ler.
Haiz.. though dere's quite alot dat happened todae.. but i guess i'm not in da mood to blog further on ler baHx.. Sorrie guyz..
I wonder.. if u r readin my blog now... nopes. i dun tink so.. u wun even bother to baHx.. So, nvm.. Even if u r realli readin it now.. u may not even noe dat i m reffering to u.. U dun needa noe.. n u Muz NOT noe..! -prays hard-
Ben dan.. ni yao zhao gu zi ji.. Wo zhi neng mo mo de zai yuan fang kan zhe ni.. que shen me dou bu neng zuo.. hao xing ku.. hao xiang fang qi.. dan wo zuo bu dao.. I wonder.. if u noe dat i lyk u.. wad wud u feel ne? Perhapz nuting baHx.. It's ok.. I'm ok.
I will alwaez look at u frm da darK.. Watchin over ya n prayin dat u r happie.. I guess.. datz da onli ting dat i can do for u bahx..Ben dan..
U've left.. n i dun tink u'll cum baq ler baHx.. I shall try to get sum slp too.. try.. but no promises.... Haf not been slpin well for da past 2 wks ler.. Onli slp for abt 5 hrs everydae..-panda eyes- Everydae I'll wait beside da com frm da moment i reach home till 12 am for u to cum online.. In da end.. u oso neva tok much de.. but i'm happie enuf juz to see u online leRx..N Evertym after u haf left, i juz carry da hope dat u'll cum baq. But everytym after waitin till 12 plus.. i figured out dat u wun be baQ ler. N everydae.. i wait n wait.. for u.. lyk a fool.. Yepp. Datz mi. U can laugh at mi. I wun stop u. N i cant. Cosh even i admit dat i'm a fool.
I'm tired.. tired frm EvErYtInG.. tired frm so mani sleepless nitex.. tired of hiding mi feelin frm u.. tired of denying dat i lyk u.. N soo tired of livinG.. Zhen de hao lei..
Take care. bye.
~*! S H A T T E R E D ~*!
-Leng feng xiu xiu xiu.. chao xiao wo de ai...-

walaoz

2004-07-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! I've waited all nite juz to watch 5566 perform on Zong Yi Da Ge Da.. N I ACTUALLY MISSED IT~~~ I edited mi blog until 11:15 den go on da TV.. Cosh i tot dat 5566 wud perform at da laZ part marx..So tot dat missing da starting aint no big deal.. Hu noes dat dey r da FIRST to perform??!! Dey alwaez lyk to put 5566 at da back de.. save da best for da last part marx. WAHLIEWZ!! Sooper angry larsh!! I had dis feeelin dat 5566 part over ler.. den mi go ask fren to double check.. N YES! My sixth sense was rite again.. ArgH!!! -screamz- QI SI REN LE LAR!! Make mi watch until 12am for nuting.. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!! N until now he's still NOT online!! Guess he's already in his DrEaMLaNd ler baHx.. While i m still here.. waiting stoopidly lyk a fooL.. All mi waitin has gone to waste once again.. Dao mei si ler lar.. how cud i haf missed 5566's performance?? Realli wanna go zhuang qiang manz.. Haiz. Can see smoke fuming out of mi head..! Mi go scream ler. BYE.
~*9 moRe DaeZ tO MeNgZhe DaRx B'dAe..~*
*~1 MoRe Mth tO u-noe-hu's BdAe..~*
Haiz.. tink u all muz be dunno hu baHx.. [da answer is at da side of mi blog..] NiteX. =(

sick

2004-07-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

Juz came baq frm dinna.. feelin so sick now.. =XActually din even wan to blog de.. head so pain.. but i still forced myself to cum online to see if he was around.. but to my disappointment, he's not...
I fell asleep at 5 plus juz now.. den i sleep sleep sleep all da way until 7:15.. Mi mommie suddenly barged into mi room n ask mi to wake up to go for dinna ler.. When she barged in, i practically jumped up lorhx.. scare mi.. Den after she tok fin n went out.. i was still half-conscious onli.. At first i was still wonderin wad was goin on.. cosh i tot it's already da next dae ler marx.. felt as though i haf slept one whole dae leR.. Den i find it v weird.. cos i still wearin da same clothes.. N i was oso wonderin how cum my family suddenly change to havin dinna in da morning ler.. i sat down tinkin for so long b4 i finally realised wad was goin on.. lolx.. All i noe at dat point of tym ish dat i feel beri uncomfortable.. m i sick?
Den, i went for dinna wif my kuzzins.. We went to dis restuarant to eat.. precisely to eat.. yea.. den dere got tv n dey were playin channel U.. Den i suddenly remembered dat todae got da NKF show.. so i wanted to watch channel 8.. After struggling for a while, i called da waitress n said " Excuse mi, can u help mi change da channel to channel 8 plz.." DOTX.. Mi kuzzins were all laughing at mi lorhx.. hmpf~ not farnie larx.. but i laughed too.. Feel so bad.. ppl go dere to eat de, but i go dere to watch their tv..hahaz~ Mi no appetite to eat marx.. Felt lyk puking.. m i pregnant? -_______-" I m showin almoz all da symptons of pregnancy lehx.. Feel lyk vomitting, dizzyness n loss of appetite.. o yar.. i haf oso been eating lotsa SuAn MeI nowadaez woR.. Uh-oH~ dOtx~
Yepps. baQ to da restuarant tingie.. da kind waitress helped mi change to channel 8 n i saw zhang xing zhe singing.. WOW~ I m soooooo amuseD! Dunno y he haf so mani fans sia.. Din noe he sho popular in singapore de..hahaz. AHHHHHHHH!! F.I.R's advertisement on tv now.. "Fly away~ Bu guan liu xia duo shao yan lei...".."Ta zou le ni ke yi ba meng liu xia.. zong hui you ge di fang deng dai ai feiiii xiang.." RAWKZ RYT??!! Luv F.I.R manx.. Faye's voice v poweRrr!! N she's oso v friendly!! O man.. Dey wud be cumin nxt wk leR.. Gawd~ Mi sure go support de.. hehex.. faye in real person surely v BeAuTiFuL de.. OH NO~ I haven buy their album yet neHx!! =P Sheet.. muz start saving up leRx.. Aieeeeeeeee~~ Needa buy sho0o0 mani stuff lehx.. Hu ask mi sho0o star-struck.. lolx..
Haish.. todae din realli tok much to him.. As usual, i initiated da con n he juz left after a short while w/o sayin byee again.. fine. I'm used to it ler.. hmmms.. lata at 11pm got 5566 @ Zong Yi Da Ge Da.. HOW?? Mi sho bu shu fu.. realli wanna go rest ler.. but den.. i fang bu xia! I dun wanna miss out anymore 5566 stuff ler.. So angry lorhx.. din manage to buy da I weekly. got so much stuff abt 5566 lehx~ Dey still on cover page woR! Dun kare ler lar.. da other tym bcuz of half a page of Zhang Feng Qi.. i went to more den 6 places to hunt for it.. Dis tym is wei le 5566.. I guess i'm gonna search thru da whole singapore manx..LOLX~ --madz-- I wish i cud.. but i dun haf da AmErIcA tym to do so lorhx.. tml still got tuition. ArGh~ Soooo.. shud i stay up to watch ne?? Still got 40 mins to go lehx.. N it's gonna end at 1 lorhx.. tml surely gonna haf difficulty waking up ler.. hehex.. lata doze off in klass arh.. ZzZzZzZ...
*SiGh*.. Y he until now haven cum online yet.. wad i dread is dat he went offline on da second dat i came online.. lolx.. hu noes.. Feel lyk turnin off da whole com n juz heCkkk manx. but u noe mi de lar.. If i dun wish him gd nite.. i cant slp de. lolx.. N if i dun tok to him for one dae, i wud feel v uneasY de lorhx.. N no matter how tired i m or how late it is.. i will alwaez wait for him to leave first b4 i go offline. I neva eva was da first to sae bye.. Cosh i can neva bear to leave knowin dat he is still dere.. Hao she bu de.. To him, sayin "bye" is no big deal at all.. but wheneva i hafta sae bye to him.. it hurts. ni zhi dao mar..
I need sum1 to tok to.. Anybody willin to lend mi a listening ear? If u r one of da kind souls out dere.. call mi at 1900 112 8855 LOLX.. jkjk~ Gif u all da real one lar.. my number v easy to remember de.. juz dial 999 okies.. wo deng ni dian hua oh~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NKF fin leR.. wah.. so touchin nehx.. haish.. feel dose kidney patients reali v ke lian.. every yr watch NKF alwaez will cry de.. Frm dem, we can see how lucky we r n how xing fu we r.. haish.. Dey r realli v jian qiang.. ought to learn frm dem.. yea. Okie, 25 min to go leR!! Muz hang on!! For da sake of mi daRx 5566!! Too bad i dun haf a tape recorder.. dere r juz so mani 5566 shows dat i wanna record lorhx.. if i haf one, tink mi hse already haf over a hundred tapes ler baHx. hahaz.. Nvm larsh. can watch betta den nth marx.. okies.. mi go start counting down to 11pm leR..
1500 secs..1499..1298..1497..1496..1495..1484..1493..1492..1491..1490..
AHHHHH *BISH* -Off to countdown- ZhiLin sTaRes SiCkLy aT cLocK..
Rest earlie peepz.. dun lyk mi.. huai huai.. stay up until sho late! But mi got valid reason lehx.. ish to see mi DARX 5566 marx.. Wads urs? Dun haf den go slp baHx.. dun cum argue wif mi le hoRx. LOLX.. -tokin to myself- NiteX NitEx.. C yaaaaaaaaaas~~1199 secs...o.0

fireworks

2004-07-17T20:28:00.000+08:00

Oh NO.. Racial Harmony Dae cumin leR.. Den MUZ wear ethnic costume go skool on dat dae lehx! wahliewz.. Go where find sia.. No choice lorhx.. hafta go buy! But mi no tym lehx.. haish.. so ma fan. Zen me ban? Tink i no need wear costume lar.. wear anyting already look lyk malay.. LOLX.. mi sho0o tanned marx.. Cuz swimming.. swim swim swim for 10 yrs den bcum liddat leR! -sobz- Nvm larsh.. tanned is not a bad ting oso rytz? Tanned den healthy marx.. JIAN KANG MEI! Wow~ i sure do noe how to zi wo an wei sia..
OH MY GAWD.. Juz now heard outside got "pom"! "boom" ! "kapow"! dis kinda sound.. den at first tot is thunder de.. so din tink too much abt it.. Den i realised dat it didnt sound lyk a thunder lorhx.. so went out to look out of curiousity.. N guess wad i saw??!! BEAUTIFUL FIREWORKS IN DA SKY~~ Sooo pretty~~ Stood down dere watchin da fireworks -stunned- for 5 mins.. Tink dey rehearsing for NDP baHx.. Now no more ler.. hehex.. National dae cumin soon ler.. which oso means... 5566 is oso cumin soon ler!!! YAYYY!! -ScReAmz-
OH MI GOSH~~ I hear da familiar sound again.. DA FIREWORKS R BAQ!!! BRB!!
Okies.. no more leR.. V nice lehx da fireworks.. But i tink its a bit of a waste lorhx.. Actually, dey need not do dat juz for mi lorhx.. realli.. no need to go to such a extent de lar.. I wud greatly appreciate it if dey put da fireworks on ME & RENFU's wedding.. DOTX... BiSh bIsH bIsHhhhhh!!! **panda eye** LOLX... yuan lai todae got fire works cos it's da national dae parade preview.. not for mi woR.. -disappointed- hahaz~
Haish.. mi practically gone mad cos mi shou dao da ji again.. betta not sae out in case he's readin dis..
Juz now stomach verY pain.. Beri bu shu fu.. Maybe it's bcos XIAO FU isH kicking mi again baHx. XIAO FU, GUAI GUAI LAR! MOMMIE HEN BU SHU FU ARH~~ Notti boi.. hahaz.. u kick mi again, mommie dun bring u to dis wurld ler woR!! [do u all need a blanket?] DIAOZ~ -_____-" I guess i oso need blankeT lehx.. Wo leng dao wo zi ji leR~
okies.. mi stop here baHx.. tink todae update too mani entries liaoz. Besides, if i continue, it's gonna be SNOWING in here.. N everyone wud freeze to death! WAHAHAHZ~~ The Day After Tomorrow PART 2..LOLX.. paisehx lo ppl.. remember to taGgY tag taGG at mi TaggYboard kz.. Luv ya lotsa.. Take Carexxx.. nitex~ =]

5566 nkf

2004-07-17T19:00:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHH!!!! 5566 on NKF now.. replay on channel 8.. Gosh~ Renfu... chao shuai neHx.. Esp when he dance Easy Come Easy Go~~ He keep on smiling.. so niceeee.. Mengzhe seems so serious..maybe he's nervous bAhx.. Xiezhi v ren zhen.. When dey sang Shou Hou da tym.. When Renfu sang, i cried. Juz cant help it.. Feel dat song v shi he wo.. "Xing fu shi hou, bie lai zhao wo.. dai zhe ni de kuai le he ta ji xu wang qian zou..Bu shu yu wo.. wo bu hui nan guo..wo zhi dao, you yi yang de tian kong...yi zhi zai,wei ni muo muo shou hou" Ahhhs.!! Haish.. no one wud understand mi feelings towards him.. mi not a fan.. yea. U may tink, if i m not a fan, wad m i deN.. haish~ 4get it baHx..
OH MY GOD.. 5566's new song VERY VERY VERY NICEEEEEEE!!! So touching!! O man.. Luv to see Renfu sing.. He alwaez has dis v cutee expression on his face.. His voice is soo soothing n wo xing~ Renfu seems to be in a good mood dat dae.. he seldom smile until so much de.. hehex. Can see he hen you ai xing!! He smile da tym can see his dimples.. Luv his dimples a lot neHx.!! Wah, goin to faint leR.. Den dey sing half way da ou jing xian n cao xi tai go thank all da special guests.. Disrupt 5566 singing.. Make mi cannot hear properly leR. So angry!! How can dey be so rude de.. juz disrupt 5566 singing halfway! HmpF~ Da way Renfu looks at da children is sho sWeeT.. He realli luvs kids alot.. No wonder he wans to get married so soon.. AHHHH. Dun wanna get remminded of dat anymore. ok. i stop tokin abt it ler. ryt dis second!
HE's online juz now.. as usual.. we din tok much.. I alwaez wisH dat he wud be da first one to sae hi to mi.. or initiate da con.. BUT, looks lyk it's neva possible.. nvm.. I shudnt expect too much. After all, i shud be happie enuf dat he even bothered to reply mi.. Wad m i to him..? Nothing. Maybe juz an ordinary fren dat he dun even understand well enuf.. If he understands mi, he wud haf sensed sumting leR rytz.. AHHH~ I'm wrongly in luv wif a Ben Dan... Ben dan..How i wisH dat if onLi everytym i cum online.. U wud be da first to sae hi.. N appear happie to see mi. N how i wish dat when dere was nth to tok abt.. u wud find sth to tok abt.. N how i wish dat u wuD inititate to find out more abt mi& how i feeL.. How i wish dat wheneva i had to leave, u wud appear to be v she bu de.. A simple "muackz" wud make mi happie enuf~ But.. All these dat i haf said can onli be WISHES.. Dat will neva cum true.. m i ryt? Tell mi i'm wrong. Nope.. i dun hear anyting. okies. fine..
HE has done nth dat i wished for.. But it's alrite.. i dun blame him.. It's not his fault dat he doesnt lyk mi.. It's not his fault dat he already lykz sum1 else sooo mucH~! Perhaps.. its mi fault baHx... HE went offline juz liddat again.. Leavin mi aLoNe.. Waitin lyk an idiot for him to return. But NO.. He din cum baq.. He gave mi false hopes once again.. I hate u.. I wish i cud.
Oh.. tell mi wad is luv.. how does it feel lyk to be da one.. i noe wad is luv.. but it seems so faraway n unreachable. Perhaps i'm juz destinied to neva be luved baHx.. Y issit alwaez liddat?? I hate da fact dat Xi huan wo de ren.. wo bu xi huan... Wo xi huan de ren.. bu xi huan wo.. Guess dis is juz my fate baHx. Face it. ~*~ HaRt BrEaKz~* Wo de xin dou sui le.. Hu's gonna pick up da pieces of mi broken hart n put dem back together again.... *QuestioN MaRkZ*
Realised dat mi lykin him is nooo secret anymore.. I'm so dead.. Guess mi feelins towards him is too obvious ler baHx.. Stoopid mi~ Wad if he finds out.. OMG.. No face to face him anymore.. God, lemme vanish frm da wurld..

neva see him todae..

2004-07-17T16:47:00.000+08:00

Yayys.. mi counter is baQ to normal again.. LaZ nyt suddenly went mad.. scare mi sia.. hahaz.. JUST reached home frm skool..Lyk 2 hrs ago.. LoLx.. Yea, JUST~~ todae go skool do notice board.. damn tiring lorhx.. But got quite a lot of cheng jiu gan lehx.. Finally completed da notice board ler. N it rawkz loR!! hahaz.. Muz see HU do one marx.. Hint : ME.. DoTx DoTx dOtX... Aiyoz.. Brother so bad de.. yest tell mi sae she todae oso goin to do notice board.. den juz now go find her but her class is EMPTY~ Not even a single soul in sight manx.. hahaz.. nvm larsh~ =)
ArGh~ Juz now went home wif Gaoyan again.. Den at da bus we were tokin abt *AHEM*.. Errs. dun worry, mi throat is perfectly alright.. yea.. N we tok tok tok.. suddenly da person sittin in front of us stood up to alight.. N guess wad... Dat guy is frm AHS de!!! AHHHHHHHHHH~~~ HE OVERHEARD WAD WE SAID!! OMG~~ I tink he noes *AHEM* lehx!! HOW.. Uh-oH~ hope he juz hUsH hUsH abt it.. If not.. Mi n GY r dead manx.. =XxX
Hmms Zhanting.. U watched mean girls ler arh.. I watched it a month ago leR.. LOLX. Mommie bought da VCD frm dunno where marx.. hahaz. It's realli niceeee~~ But i still prefer WiNd-StrUck! Though i haf not got a chance to watch it yet.. I oso wanna watch BROTHERHOOD!! As well as da korea ghost movie>> SISTERS..wow~ All korean shows RAWKZ!!! hehex.. Wonderin hu shud i ask along manx.. any of ya guyx wanna go watch brotherhood, wind-struck or sisters?? LOLX..
Argh!! Juz found out dat BROTHERHOOD IS NC16!! AHHHHH!! HOW CAN IT BE??!!Dey sae it's WAR VIOLECE!! Da following part is dedicated to Da idiot person hu made BROTHERHOOD NC 16.. So open ur eyes n listen up! "Yea yea.. U jealous of YUAN BING more SHUAI den u baHx.. Jealous den sae so lar.. no need to go until da extent of makin it NC16.. Hoping dat young gurls under 16 will not get a chance to see ShuAi sHuAi de YUAN BING n fall for ya.. huh..?" Cant see how man YUAN BING ish when fightin on da battlefield leR~~ Oso cant drooL over him liaoz lar! YUAN BING is da moZ SHUAI-EST koR celebrity in korea lorhz!!  Plus, BROTHERHOOD is such a NICE moovie manz. How can dey be so SHELLFISH?! Juz keep da nice stuff to demselves.. Hmpf~ But hu kares.. I can still go watch whether it's NC16 nortz.. Cos i look 16 marx!! WAHAHAZ~ Errs. Not farnie. AT ALL! -diaoz- Sorrie i todae v
QiaN Bian.. Actually.. EVERYDAE oso equally qian bian lars.. No wonder all mY frenz arnd mi alwaez prepare jacket de.. LOLX.. See, mi frenz all so sMaRt de.. Noe how to prepare demselves frm being leng dao marx.. =XxxXxXx Grrr.. At da end of da dae, i still hafta face da CRUEL fact dat.. I CANT WATCH BROTHERHOOD LAR!!! It's so diff watching frm da VCD lorhx.. Grrrr~
Haiz.. changed mi blog song.. Dao Dai is a little too sad for mi now..So change to Bai Se Lian Ge.. LOLX. Wads da point?? Equally sad sia~ Lyk as if it made a diff sia.. haiz. YesteRdaE waited for him to cum online all da way till 10 liddat.. Den when he cum online da tym, i forced myself not to sae hi to him.. but in da end, i juZ cudnt help it.. we din tok much.. As usual! He is juZ sooo quiet. Lyk alwaez. So, i decided to sae NUTING as well.. Den he LeFt juz liddat.. ArGh~ So GREAT huh.. Wad is all da waiting for den.. i hate myself for being so in luv wif u..
OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I suddenly realised dat it is juz 10 more daez to MENGZHE's BDAE!!!!! Wahhhhhh.. so fast sia.. Nvm.. wad's more impt is renfu daRx de.. 1 more mth n 11 daez.. n Fengqi darx is 1 more mth n 12 daez.. lolx.. o yar, not to forget MY bdae.. 1 more mth n 1 dae.. hahaz.. u all noe wad to do arhx.. wahahahaz~ -ERmx- =P
28 August is RENFU's bdae.. N its oso 5566's concert at taiWan.. Oopz.. singers usually tend to make impt announcements durin their concert de.. N since Renfu's bdae is on da dae of da concert as well.. Wad if he announce dat.......... NONONOOO~~~ Wo xiang tai duo le.. Xiang tai duo le!!!!! ='( Okies.. i shall try to tink of sth happieR baHx.. Errrs.. *tink* *tink*!! O YARS!! At da end of da yr, during da december holZ i m goin to TAIWAN.. hehex.. mommie promise mi leR.. she betta not go back on her word manx.. mi go taiwan find AHFU!!! LOLX.. siaoz.. Den mi everYdae go wait outside da SAN LI DIAN TAI dere.. Den when see Renfu walkin out, mi will hold onto his leg dun let go.. hehex. Hu noes, he might juz kick mi awae.. lolx. No larsh.. Mi darX not so bad de~ Puttin mi imagination skills to use again~ GREAT! Den when i see dat idiot SUN DE RONG, I m gonna scream at him sia.. "HUAN WO AH JIE & MENGRU~" LOLX.
Hmmms. But da ting is.. i wud be goin to taiwan alone. ALONE u noe.. sCaRy siaz.. Datz da onli way marx.. cos mi mommie not free at dat period of tym.. Hey heys!! I HEARD DAT! Dun tink u mutter under ur breath "siao" i cant hear woR.. lolx. Yea. I admit. I m MAD MAD MAD!!! But.. dis is not considered as mad baHx.. is CHI QING cai dui.. Or rather, BAI CHI baHx.. Besides, over dere mi got hse marx.. so can go stay wif myGraNnY n ahyi dey all first.. kools ryt?? Lalalaaaaas... AaaAaaaa~ I miss my GraNNy soo muCh!! But it's kinda hard for us to communicate.. Cos she speaks KoR.. But lucky i noe a lil.. hehex. =/ Da best is when 5566 goin baq frm singapore to taiwan dat ttym, i go take da same fight as dem. WOW~~ Errrrs. -I bisH myselF for u all kz- *BISH* -sees sTaRs whirling arnd mi head-  kkz, mi go chaTtY on msn lerx.. HaisH.. HE's still not onlineeee~Wadeva.. Lyk as if it matters to mi.. YES. it does.  Okies..4get it.. Dun feeL lyk replyin anyone leRx.. Shall continue blogging lata baHx..Hope u all lyk da neW song on mi bloGgY.. S.H.E ~*~ BaI Se LiAn Ge~*~ Realise I've been changing da song v ofteN nowadaez.. Cos everyting juz seem sooo sad to mi.. Wad shud i do now? He's still not online. So wads da freakin point for mi to staY on.. After all, mi main purpose for cumin online ish juz bcuz of... HIM.. I dunno wad to do.. Maybe I'll juz go rot in a corner baHx.. Yepps. So... byeeeeeeeeee~~ MuAcKxXxxXxx~~~

5566..renfu

2004-07-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

*DiS eNtRy gOt mAni maNi cOlouRs.. NicE maRx? * Sorrie.. juz being bo liaoz..ArGh~ Todae nearly late for skool woR. So dao mei lorhx.. Was rushing lyk siao cos cudnt wake up todae.. hahaz. too tired leR. Nowadaez alwaez online until 12 liddat.. I spent sooo long packin mi CCa stuff! Iin da end, 4got to bring it along when i left home!! Wah sehx.. I was running to da bus stop half way den suddenly realised dat i didnt bring it lor. Den i faster ran baQ to mi hse.. Den when i reach downstairs , realised dat it was v late leR. So i ChIoNg back to da buS stop.. Chiong here ChioNg dere.. Lyk mad woman liddat~ lolx.. After dat cos v late ler marx.. So i juz alight n take a cab frm deRe.. Wah sehx.. todae dunno y da cab's business suddenly so good sia.. All da taxis all occupied.. Den i waited for da taxi fro 20 mins lor!! Wait until i nearly went mad sia.. So scard late neHx.. Hahaz.. FINALLY god created a miracle n dere was finally an EMPTY taxi in sight.. *WHEW* But at dat tym already 7:20 leR.. HOW M I SUPPOSED TO REACH SKOOL IN 5 PATHETIC MINS MAN?? LoLx~ =X
Mi keep on telling da uncle to jia you.. Guess it realli did help baHx.. Managed to reach at 7:26.. Den i kanchiong.. run to da hall dere n juz throw mi bag downstairs at da table( famous for letting ppl hu r late dump their bags dere) heeZ. I rush lyk siao n finally reached mY class dere juz at da moment when da command was being given. So zun.. Rite at dat second sia! Din even haf a chance to take a breath yet den hafta open my mouth to sing da national anthem ler.. Hahaz. nvm larsh.. neva late can ler.. =)
WahliewX.. Dance todae was sooooooo... ARGH! Lao shi realli noe how to torture us manx.. hahaz. U noe she even made us carry sumone hu is heavier den us to sit on our shoulders n do sum stoopid tip-toeing stretching exercise for 25 tymx.. Realli v xing ku lorhx!! Dun tink u all understand wad i tokin abt baHx.. But once u all haf a taste of it.. hahaz. U will noe how i feel leR. My whole bodY was lyk struggling so badly lorhx.. Cud not even stand up when da person sat on my shoulder.. Can u imagine dat?? But i actually managed to survive thru it woR. I so LI HAI rytz?? WahahahaZ~~ -__-" Da other stretchings r oso v v v xing ku de lorhx.. Dey r not dose kinda normal stretching dat can be done easily de lor.. Haish..
LOLX~ Lao shi damn farnie sia!! When we were doin dis back arch stretching or wad do u call dat.. She counted for us.. 1...2...3..4...5..Fry Fry touch da sky~~" LOLX. Five bcum fry.. Tink she meant "FLY" baHx.. LAME sia~
My muscle ache still haven recover yet den todae muz go thru so much torture leR.. Tink tml cant even get up frm bed baHx..
Ahahahahaz.. Todae we had to act out da history play.. N we acted out da scene at da brothel dere.. LOLX. dun look at mi liddat kz. It's not mi idea horx. hahaz.. Blame Jun n Jarred larsh!! DirtY minded guyX.. Eeeeks. Hahaz. But it turned out to be v farnie lorhx. Poor Mi n Yunzhi were forced to be da prositutes.. DOTX.. N We had to sing sum "mamasan" song.. -faintz- SO DUI LIAN lorhx!! Imagine singing in front of da whole class as well as Mr.Smith.. wahliewz.. Frm da moment we started acting, we practically laughed all da way.. I even laughed till i accidentally banged mi head against da whiteboard sia..*OUCH* Dunno y we found it so farnie lorhx!! But i reali tot dat it was v farnie marx.. How cum it seems dat when we were luffing lyk siao, Da rest of da class didnt appear to find it farnie at all.. WeiRdos huhx.. LOLX. Tink isH our sense of humour isH too abnormaLLy strong ler baHx. Alwaez laughing our heads off at little tings.. lolx.. Datz us.. YEA! Da LAMOS~~~ Diaoz.. pardon mi.. hahaz..
Tokin abt tml.. I still hafta go to skool at 7:30am to do da notce board lehx!! 7:30 u noe.. Doesnt feeL lyk a saturdaE anymore.. Hafta wake up soooo eaRlie.. Juz lyk norm skool daez. huhs... Cant slp till late latE leR lar!!! =(
Walked past him in skool todae.. Dun tink he saw mi baHx. HaiSh.. Saw sth dat i wished i din see.. brought mi down again.. Xi huan ni hen xing ku oh.. Zhen de hen xing ku..
Cong jing yi hou, wo zhi ai WANG REN FU yi ge! hahaz..Hmmms. Sorrie if u mite find da bottom part of da entry v HuA cHi or luV-sick.. hahaz..
To tink abt it.. I haf been so loyal to renfu.. AlmoZ 2 yrs ler baHx..WOW~ Watched him grow up n change soo mucH over da yrs.. Feel so proud of wad he has todae.. Hahaz.. Wo yong yuan de zui ai!! HoNeYYYY~~ I rawk. Renfu rawk. Ai si renfu leR~~ MuAcKz~ -.- OH NO!! renfu's bdae cumin ler.. i scared.. wo hen pa.. He has been wanting to marry b4 he turns 25 all along.. Wad if he announce dat he wants to marry JI QING during his 24th bdae dis yr?? OMG.. I will definitely go jump off da buildin on dat dae de lor. I m serious. Dere's no point for mi to live on anymore.. My every single breath is all for RENFU.. He is my eVeRyTiNg.. ='( I noe dat i m wu yo ke jiu ler.. yepps. cant be helped.. If i cud, i wud haf gave up long ago..WANG REN FU!! NI BU KE YI ZHE YANG ZI! WO ZEN ME BAN AH?! DENG WO... ={
Todae is a horrendaZ dae.. Y muz dey choose to sell da freakin 5566 Mcard todae? If buy da Mcard todae can purchase da 5566 dunno wad concert or party tingie TIX @ $5.. I WANNA GO~~~~ 5566 r gonna haf real close interaction wif da fans on dat dae de lor.. I m gonna miss out ALOT!! Tryin mi very best to let him notice mi n remember mi leR.. Y do ya tink i alwaez go for all 5566 events no matter wad.. Juz carryin da hope dat i can leave sum impression in renfu's mind.. Even if he remembers mi as a mad faN.. i oso dun mind.. I once asked renfu if he still remembers mi.. he said "ji de" n smiled at mi innocently.. renfu, xie xie ni pian le wo. Wo zhen de hen gao xing..Zhe shao zai ni shuo ni hai ji de wo de na yi ke, wo shi xing fu de. To me, renfu is not my ou xiang.. I dun idolise him lyk wad norm fans do.. Haiz. Suan le.. no1 will understand de.. *~*God noes I've tried, but i cant let go.. Im krazy bout u noe hu.. ~*~
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD!! Aishah told mi dat she managed to get da 5566 tix lehx!! NO FAIR~~ Outside Everyone sellin for $85 or $100 lorhx.. N ITS ACTUAL PRICE IS ONLI $5 LOHX!! Phlease.. wahlaoz. Wan mi to go rob bank arh. or go snatch frm old woman?? daylight robbery siaz.. Mi broke ler neHx~ Still needa buy da FengQi Young Capucchino VCD >> $70. AHHHHHHHHHHH!! Y everyting oso need so much $$ de.. ArgHx~ Nvm.. 5566 priority.. hehex.. if reali PoKai.. den... Ermx... u noe.. hahaz. Dose ppl hu bought da 5566 tix bought it not bcuz dey realli lyk 5566..But bcuz dey wanna sell it for a profit n make money.. HyprocriteZ~~ MoNeeeY FaCe~~>> *Qian Lian* Hate dis kinda ppl manx.. Make dose hu realli lyk 5566 de haf no more tix leR.. AHHH wadeva it is.. i muz find a way to get da tix too.. If not i m realli goin mad manx.. HOW??!! JIU MING AH.. WO BU XIANG HUO LE! Oopz.. sorrie for da SOOPER LONG entry once aGain.. Its juz dat i realli haf lotsa to sae.. He's still not online.. Wait until goin to rot ler.. sho0o tired.. shud i continue waitin? Even if i'm tired out.. part of mi refuses to leave da com.. - blackz out-

wang le ai...

2004-07-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

Heyz peepx.. Dis is da [Wang Le Ai] song lyrics.. which is da chao nicEee sonG dat U r hearin now.. I noe u guyx muz be lyk dis song alot de.. i xing xing ku ku type out for u aLL da lyrics beLow.. Muz thanK mi woRx.. Hahaz.. no laR.. Juz doin my part as a tOrO faN~~ LuV tOrO 4eVa!! ToRo rAwkz.. He isH sho0o cutEe n chao SHUAI neHx!! ^_^ Toro oso has a wonderful voice , n dun ya tink dat he is sho0oo... MAN...?! oOooOoo.. mY PretttY boy..~ Juz lyk mi Ah Fu~~ -faintz- *ChEeRs*

Jie dao, wo pai huai..
Deng, liang qi lai..
Bing leng leng de gu qi,
Feng, chui bu san...

Kan zhe, ni li kai..
Xin, you dian an..
Gai re nao de shi hou, ni.. que bu zai...

Yi ge ren neng shuo chu zen me yang de dui bai..
Kong fang jian zhi sheng wo de.. wu nai...

Hua xie le, hua you kai..
Ni que bu zai hui lai..
Jing jing de shi jie..
Wang le ai...

~%^*!~%^*~!^*!~^*!~^*%~!*^!~~%^*!~%^*~!^*!~^*!~^*%~!*^!~*%~!*^!~

Deng zhe, ni xing lai..
Tian you xie an..
Zhan zai zhe yi zhi, wei le, ni hui lai..

Yi ge ren neng shuo chu zen me yang de dui bai..
Kong fang jian zhi sheng wo de.. wu nai...

Hua xie le, hua you kai..
Ni que bu zai hui lai..
Jing jing de shi jie..
Wang le ai...

Yi ge ren neng shuo chu zen me yang de dui bai..
Kong fang jian zhi sheng wo de.. wu nai...

Hua xie le, hua you kai..
Ni que bu zai hui lai..
Jing jing de shi jie..
Wang le ai... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
(Toro tokin..) *Can u hear Toro's maN voice??!!~* OMG~~~ =X

Yayys~~ *APPLAUSE* See i sho0o BANG! Typed out da entire song lyrics especiaLLy for mi deaR frenz woR.. hahaRsh.. (",)
Yeppz.. dis is a beri sad soNg..
U will feel more lyk cryin if u watched Xue Tian Shi..
I wasted so much teaRs when i watched dat show..
LuV Toro more eva since..
heeZ. Recommend dis show to u all.. As well as dis song.. Rawkz juz lyk ME!! *Diaoz*
Hug hUgx.. take care peepz. Mi go slp leR..
Tot dat i cuD 4get abt everyting n be happie de.. But, da smile on my face disappeared once again..
All dat Ben dan's fault.. Tao yan ni. Tao yan ni. Tao yan ni!!!
nooo. I cant bluff myself dat.. wo hai shi xi huan ni de.. waRgh~ Hope u wun appear in my dreamx.. If not i mite get drowned deRe bY my tears n neva wake up.. byeeeeeee. Nitex..

happieR

2004-07-15T17:31:00.000+08:00

GuesS todae i feel betta ler baHx.. S M I L E X ... Juz one LiTTle tinG HE did made mi smiLe once again.. heeZ. Maybe I tink too much ler baHx.. CanT Help arsH~ HE isnt aware dat such a SmaLL ting HE did can actually make mi sooo happie.. ThAnX~ =)
Wah sehx.. dis mornin got heavy rain.. Wad a great dae to choose to rain huh..=X Den i was lyk soaked frm head to toe, inside out.. Totally soakin wet lorhx. PaTheTic sia.. Den when reach da bus dat tym, i felt part of da raindrops on mi froze into ice manx..Lolx.. no lar. Not dat kua zhang larsh.. But realli beRi cold lorX~ I was meLting in da bus man. Den when alight da tym, my pooR umbrella nearly got blown off. Wind v strong neHx. Da ground was floooded wif puddles of water everywhere n even mi socks were completely soaked. Felt so horrible.. Cud hear da *SqueAk SquEaK* when i walked.. N my books.. n EVERYTING dat was in my bag was WET!! AHHHHH~~ Sadz. Wah muscle ache neHx.. Yest PE lorhx.. So torturouSS~~ Cant even walk properly now.. Shoulder dere oso v pain.. -HeLp-
Hmmmms. Todae's CD lesson v V v EDUCATING sia~ Da topic was abt.. Erm.. *AHEM*.. N da guyz were lyk all goin ExCiTeD, while i m DiSgUsTed.. ArgHx~ hehex.. But it turned out to be quite a farnie lesson though.. was laughin all da way.. Realised dat i m finally laughing again todade.. I nearly forgotten how to laugh manx.. GreAt to see myself feelin betta noW. It doesnt feeL gooD to be sad all da tym.. DuhhHhH~
Btw, da song dat u r hearin now is sung by Toro.. Wang Le Ai.. Its realli v v v nice n touchin de.. Hope ya guz haf da same feelin as mi baHx~ Enjoy~ Mi gtg ler, Lata still got tuition.. Guess I'd continue bloggin lata baHx.. C yaaa~~~ MuAcKxXxXxXx...

tired...

2004-07-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

shoo0 tired manx... Juz came baQ frm koR class.. Todae's lesson damn farnie man. SoNsAeNgNiM laugh until sooooo.. hahaz. Cos todae we were practicing on convo on our b'dae etc mar.. Den i sae mi bdae is 18 August.. Den da teacher ask wad yr.. she sae 19 wad? den i sae 90. Den i tink she tot i repeating wad she said. As in "19" Den she sae, 19 wad?? Den i said 90! Den she screamed "HUH! U born in 1990?? The means u this yr 14 yrs old ONLY??" LOLX. Realised dat da teacher as well as da whole class tot dat i was lyk 16 or 17 yrs old all along. pUhLeasE~ But thanx aniwaes. It's a gooD ting to loook mature.. Wahahaaz~
Den todae sonsaengnim played dis damn nice Kor song for us to learn.. it's damn touching lorx.. ='( It saved mi frm fallin asleep too.. Sooo tired everydae. Esp todae.. dunno y . haish.
Den after da class i rushed baQ home juz for sum stoopid reason. N dat is hoping dat i cud see him online.. We din haf da fate to meet.. He went offline ler. so here i m now, typing dis sad entry. haiz. Everydae i stay up till soooooooo late juz hoping dat he wud suddenly cum online in da middle of da nyt. I wud be happie enuf juz to wish him NiTeX nItEx n see him go ta slp.. But guess todae i wun caRry on harbouring dese foolish hopes.. Guess it will be pointless to wait on.. Face it man. He's not cumin baQ ler. N even if he cums online, so wad?? It's alwaez mi hu is initiating da con first.. N after he sae hi.. he juz keeps quiet n dun tok ler. N everytym i wud be dere tinking whether i shud find sth to tok abt or juz leave him alone.. After all, I dun wanna cause any disturbance to him n he may find it a bother to tok to mi.. Hu noes.. N he may be tokin to mi juz bcos i toked to him. If not he wun even bother to tok to mi at all. My presence doesnt matter to him AT ALL... But dun he noe how much he matters to mi..
~*~^*~ For yoU, I m wiLLiNg to dO aNytinG... I m noT scaRed oF dYin.. I m juZ scaRed daT aftEr I dIe.. dEre wiLL be no One dAt wiLL Luv U aS muCh aS I dO aNymoRe...~*~^*

AH JIE.. MENGRU

2004-07-14T16:29:00.000+08:00

Oh my god... Dun tok to mi now.. N i dun wanna tok to anyone.. HOW CUD DIS BE HAPPENING???!!! AH JIE & MENGRU REALLI GOT KICKED OUT OF R&B~~!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~ BLARDIE SUN DE RONG! Y MUZ HE DO DIS, HUH?? Chi bao fan mei shi zuo arh???
At first when i heard da news frm my frenz dat AJ n MengRu not in R&B anymore, paRt of mi refused to believe it.. Cos i tot dat it was too ridiculous to be true.. But..to my disappointment.. it turned out to be TRUE! SOBX~ Juz now watched Wan Quan Yu Le n saw dis news got da whole QIAO JIE LI singers de..Toro formed a band wif 2 other guyz n dey called demselves "3T' Lolx. Juz bcuz Toro's name starts wif 'T'. Den da other 2 members hafta choose an english name starting wif "T" too. N one of dem chose "THE" while da other chame lame lehx. He chose "TOMATO"! Diaoz~ Hmmms. Den oso got another new band.. It's formed by Shaowei n 4 other guyx dat i m not interested to noe.. Wad for dat SUN DE RONG wanna form so mani bands arh.. Cant he juz cherish da ones dat exist now instead of breaking dem up n finding new ppl to join.. SUN DE RONG, ur management skills r REAL GREAT maN. -.- N i saw R&B.. NO MORE AHJIE! NO MORE MENGRU! Instead, Dere r 2 new freakin faces dere.. Kaoz.. I m damn angry dis tym lor. IDIOT SUN DE RONG kick dem out den where dey go.. I dun wan dem to leave.. AH JIE..MENGRU!!! Lucky i got hug AHJIE before last tym.. Cos now wan oso no more chance leR. Cos da other tym i went for R&B KBox event.. Den i realli v lucky! Got chosen up da stage by XIAOQIAO & ZAIZAI. Cos he answer da qn wrongly maRx. Den da forefeet is to choose one fans to hug.. N i so HENG got chosen.. When i got up da stage dat tym he soo paisehX. Still remember dat shy look on his face.. So cuteeeeee. Den after he stretch out his hand n sae "LAI BAH" hahash... Lyk small children liddat.. CHAO KE AI~~ Den after dat i oso damn paisehx lorhx. But it was a damn rare opportunity marx. So i juz gu qi yong qi n hug lorhx. WAH~ First tym hug da person i lyk man.. So xing fu~~~~ Though i dun dare hug him tite tite de, but i rest mi head on his shoulder.. *AHEMS* AJ so tall. Lucky he got bend a little. If not i hafta jump jump jump neHx. LOLX. N den dunno y hug for sooo long lehx. Tot dat it will juz be a short hug. HAHAZ~ Aniwaes,Luv him man. AHJIE so nice~~~ N NOW, HE'S GONE!! WIF MENGRU!! Asssssssssssssss. Nxt tym when dat idiot SUN DE RONG cum to singapore again i m gonna kang yi manx! Grrrrrrrrrrr. QI SI REN LE LAR! Neva one dae will i not feel lyk cryin de.. Y everydae oso liddat de. Haish. Wad a miserable life i haf...
Arghx. GOU LE. I dun wanna tink abt AHJIE.. N MENGRU ler.. No more tears left leR. I miss dem sooooo much.. Where r dey now? How can dey juz disappear liddat.. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~ ='(
Okies. Todae is brother SUNYU's Bdae!! HAPPIE BDAE SUNYU!! hOpe u lyk da prezzie. hehex. Hey hey.. Juz a gentle reminder horx.. mi bdae cumin too woR. lolx.. 18 August arh.. hahaz. Dun take MC dun cum to skool on dat dae horx. LOL. Jkjk~~ Mi not so hou lian pi de lar.
I haf been trying so hard to hide my sadness n depression. But guess I din hide it well enuf.. Cos mani ppl found out ler.. LYk Steffi.. Jarred.. Dey ask mi if i was ok.. N ask mi y i look so sad. Haiz. I juz bluffed dem dat i was tired oR i juz having mood swing lar. So mani tings happened.. How can i not be sad.. My Fc stuff.. AHJIE & MENGRU.. Da LOSER hu tagged at mi tag board.. n HIM.. 031..yepz. Dun ask mi hu's dat..Mi mouth is titely shut. I m neva gonna let anybody esp HIM noe. N i m serious. Laz tym wheneva i lyked sum1, in sum way dey will get to noe of it.. But dis tym.. I dun wanna get hurt anymore. It's betta to lyk sum1 secretly den get rejected rite at ur face rytz..
Oh yea.. todae's PE was damn torturous man.. can die one lehx.. We ran around da field wif 3L for 8 mins. DEn half way my shoe lace dropped n i stopped to tie it.. Den suddenly got one gurl sorta fall over mi. Lolx. Guess i made a too abrupt stop ler baHx. Scare mi sia. hahaz. So paisehx =p..Expectedly, i saw zhanting.. N he waved cutely.. As UsUaL..lolx. Alwaez so friendly n niceee~ ^_^ Hmmms.. N datz not all.. After dat we still haf to do 4 sets of diff torture.. 25 push ups, 25 sit ups, 25 rangers n 25 jumping jacks.. WAH SEHX.. After dat i tot dat that's da end of it ler. But guess wad.. we still haf to repeat da whole ting again. But dis tym it's 20.. Den we did 20 of everyting.. N by den i m already dying ler lorx. BUT..DATZ STILL NOT DA END OF IT!! WE STILL HAF TO DO IT ONE MORE TYM!! N lucky dat was da last tym if not i mite haf fainted manx... =XxxXxxxX
How i wish i juz fainted n neva wake up. I dun wanna face dis horrible n hurting wurld. I rather die in my dreAm den die of sadness.. No one wud understand.. Hu would..
Wow~ todae's assembly got mani gurls excited again. LOL. paisehx arhh. Hmmms. Zac n alvin sure haf v niceee voices. hehex.I luv da song "Quan xing de ni".. Sounds so sad.. N da lyrics so meaningful. =) But still prefer my darX 5566 songZ.. ArBiSh~
Haish.. tml got sum Xtra-ded Life Science quiz.. Wahliewx.. Totally chimology lorhx. Not even a single ting can get into mi brain.. lolx. I sark at Science. Yeas. But u can ask mi anyting abt 5566 n I'll tell u EVERYTING abt dem.. Lolx.. Errrms. =Xxxx
Lata still got KoR class.. So tireD. Dun feel lyk moving at all.. Still hafta go until sho0o faR~ Besides, i m not in da mood to do anyting else.. AhhhHhHhz. 4get it man. I cant possibly cuRl up n roT at home n neva step out of mi hse 4eva..I wish i cud..
Not in da mood to blog futher. Juz one word to describe everyting. "SARKZ". Datz onli for mi case. While other ppl's lifes r filled wif happiness n colouR. Mine is darK n dying. aNnYoNg~

cry..

2004-07-13T21:34:00.000+08:00

U noe bcuz of dis matter i cried how many tymz todae.. Now my eyes r all swollen frm cryin. U r not worth my tears ok! so dun get too smugg~~ Thanx Gaoyan for cheerin mi up. As well as Qinzhi, zhanting, joel n yiting? I dunno wad exactly is goin on.. I m so freakin messed up. Sum1 is trying to HAI gwynneth dey all by imitating da way dey tok.. cos dey claim dat its not dem. i reali haf no idea. But i haf one last sentence for u beeecH (Quoted frm GY) Go to da WASHROOM n eat FEACES lar! See. we r CIVILISED. UNLYK u! Gangstaaa~
Ok, i m not goin to let dis entry be corrupted abt ya manx. enuf of u, LOSER!
I m gonna treat it as though nth has happened frm dis moment onwards. Rest assured dat i will not gif a damn abt wad u sae anymore. Cos we all noe dat u tok absolute crap. GREAT. U r a crapper! loser! n coward! Face it man. Sae wadeva u wan abt mi. haaaz.
Haish.. Todae i saw him again.. i wondered if he saw mi.. I was feelin real terrible den. But even if he saw mi, it doesnt matter at all to him. After all, wad m i to him ryt? He lykz Her sooo much. N when u luv sum1 sooo much. It's hard for sum1 else to step into ur hart. U dun even haf space for another person, anymore. So i noe i will juz end up gettin hurt lykin him.. But again, wad can i do.. I've tried. Arghx. 4get it. U will neva noe.. Neva eva gonna let u noe...

loser!!

2004-07-13T18:32:00.000+08:00

Okies loser.U forced mi to use harsh words. U r over da limits ler! Show urself up. Hu da heck r u? If u r not Yiting's frenzz. Den y r u tokin lyk dem. N y r u imitating dem? wad do u wan?? can u plz stop crappin.. Stop being such a beeeech. Hueva u r, plz scram now! Y cant u juz get dis rite into ur freakin pea sized brain?? U dun haf da rite to cum here n anyhow criticise ppl n make up fake tales k. We r not idiots. N for goodness sake, stop being a COWARD! U dun even dare to post ur damn freakin name. U haf no guts at all. N stop makin pointless remarks dat ain't gonna make a diff. U r juz bringing urself hatred here. U identity will be exposed one dae.. So y court death? U haf da brains to store so mani vulgarities n crap.. So y dun u haf da brains to do sum logical tinking n GET A LIFE?!! Y cant u juz mind ur own freakin business n be more matured? U r not in primary skool for goodness sake, kid! Stop being so childish puhlease~ U wadeva ting bu shuang can point out nicely n use ur REAL identity to gif suggs marx. Y muz resort until so underhand methods ne? Is scolding vulgarities da onli ting dat u r capable of, huh? Stop disrupting da peace here n ruining frenships. I ONLI HAF 2 WORDS FOR U. N DAT IS..U SUCK!
I dun wanna waste anymore of my tym on u. U R A HOPELESS CASE! ScRaM~~NO ONE welcums u here! WE HATE U! Go elsewhere to sark ks. Or u'll be sorrY. U OWE EVERY1 AN APOLOGY HERE, LOSER N ANONYMOUS!

2004-07-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

WE DUN WELCUM FREAKIN LOSERS HERE. SO WHOEVA U R, PLZ SCRAM OUT OF MY BLOG NOW. WE DUN NEED ASSSES TO SPAM HERE KZ. N BITCH, I DUNNO WADS UR PROB. BUT UR "SUGGESTIONS" SEEMS MORE LYK CRAP YA NOE? GO FIND UR MOMMIE. U DUN BELONG HERE. U DUN HAF ANY PROOF TO WAD U R SAYING. N U R TOKIN ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE YA NOE? HERE IS NO KIDDY'S PLAYGROUND OKIES. STOP RUINING OTHER PPL'S LIFE. I DUN GIF A FREAKIN DAMN ABT YA. DIS BLOG IS SOLELY FOR ANTI- LOSERS. SO SCRAM LOSER!

hao shang xing

2004-07-12T21:12:00.000+08:00

I m feelin realli v horrible now. Seriously feel lyk cryin..Feels as though dere's a lump stuck in my hart.. Do u noe dat kinda feelin? I dunno wad to do.. I noe its wrong n pointless lykin him, but i juz cant help it. Wad's da point when he already has sum1 else in his hart. I noe i can neva walk into his hart.. But i juz cant stop lykin him. I haf forced myself not to tink of him but... haish. Y muz i alwaez get hurt. Da wurld is unfair.. Y can other ppl be happily together wif da ones dey luv? while me.. alwaez end up getting hurt everytym. Y muz i alwaez meet da wrong ppl to fall in luv wif. Haven i been hurt deep enuf? Get out of mi mind if u r gonna hurt.. I cried enuf for u..
Maybe I'll juz be happy enuf to be ur fren. Datz all i can ask for.. But it hurts to noe dat u already haf sum1 dat u lyk sooo much. But didnt it occur to u how i feel? No.. Bcos u r not even aware of my feelins towards u. I m trying mi best to hide my feelings frm u n not let u noe.. Cos i dun wanna appear to be a fool in ur eyes. I noe dat i m being v stoopid.. But i realli dunno wad can i do. I tink da onli tink dat i cud do is juz pray hard dat tym will fade off my feelings towards u.. yepps. I realli wish i cud hate u.. but i cant.. i hate myself for lykin u. Y m i alwaez left in da dark to cry.. hu will cum mend mi broken hart. Hope time can turn luv into hatred.. Will u eva understand how i feel.. even if u do.. wad can u do.. Ur presence is already a mistake. N me knowing u is a bigger mistake. Wad matters most is dat, u r happy. I guess, all i can sae is dat.. i sark.
Guess I'll be betta off lykin renfu baHx.. At least he cant hurt mi in any way. But i m tired of deceiving myself.
-My luv for u ish buried in da darkness where u can neva see-
~*~Da dae when u will finally luv mi.. is dae dae when i'll be drowned by my tears..~*~*

brother..

2004-07-12T18:21:00.000+08:00

2dae i RUSHED home n managed to catch da last pathetic 15 mins of Wan Quan Yu Le..GAOYAN larx.. Si chan zhe wo bu fang.. aiyoz.. tml will see mi ler marx.. dun need to she bu de wo until liddat larX. hahaz. But 15 minS is betta den nth marx.. At least i broke mi record of not watching WQYL for sooooooo long leR.. Realised i missed out soooooo much within dis few wkz of missing WQYL~
2dae WQYL is got HUANG XIANG YI, TORO , MENGZHE & SHAOWEI.. Wah Toro got one part lean so close to stella.. i see already v xian mu woR.. Den dey both won da game n toro paiseh-ly held up stella's hand n shouted "YAYY" aHhHhhH~ Will he fall in luv wif stella?? Toro arh.. V hua xin lehx.. tot he lyk cyndi?? 4get it lar. NI MEN ZHE XIE NAN REN MEI YOU YI GE SHI HAO DONG XI~~ QUAN BU DOU SHI ZHI HUI RANG WO MEN NU REN SHANG XING DE HUN DAN~! sHeeSh.. Dis is no directed to da iNocent ones.. hahaz. I refuse to admit it, but.. u see.. Renfu- Ji qing.. Mengzhe- zhang shao han.. Xiezhi- Ding Xiao Qing.. Toro- Cyndi.. Y IS DA WURLD SO CRUEL~~~ haish. Wo ai de ren bu ai wo. i wanna GROW UP! Dun wanna be a XIAO MEI MEI in their eyes.. lucky i look mature.. hahaz. lolx. realli lehz.. ppl alwaez tot i 16 yrs old lehz! Ermms.. DIAOZ~ Luv ya guyz~~ hahaz.-____________-"
MmMmmmms.. 2dae went to Br.SunYu's class to lend her mi bao bei booK.. WO TAO YAN WANG REN FU! nono.. dun get misunderstood. Dat is da book name~ hahaz. Wo zen me ke neng tao yan wo de honEy ne?? LOLX.
*DIS PART IS DELETED COS I REALISED DAT IT WAS TOO OBVIOUS LER* lolx. SunYu's b'dae is cumin leR.. Hehex.. Try to find tym to buy her prezzie.. Too bz nowadaez ler.. IF NOT, SunYu.. den 4get it lor.. WAHAHAHAZ. JKJK~~ Mi not so bad de larx. =)
Muz go get baQ mi book tml leR.. Hehex.. Hope it's still in peRfeCt condition.. lolx..
C yaaaaaz~~~~~~~ *~* MiSs HiM~*~ -Zen me ban-

chase 5566

2004-07-12T15:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterdae reached home too late ler.. so cudnt blog. hehex. whoa~ yesterdae was reali very.. erm.. dunno how to sae larx. so mani tings happened! To start off, i went to da airport in da morning to fetch 5566.. Tot dat i wud juz fetch dem n go home ler.. Din expect myself to go chase~ hahaz. So we waited outside da airport so dat it wud be easier for us to chiong up da maxi.. 5566 finally came ler n we were all screamin lyk siao!! I onli saw renfu cos my eyes were practically glued onto him. Din haf eyes to see Xiezhi n Mengzhe.. After dat we chiong up da maxi n started chasin after 5566's van.. Wah dere were lyk 10 over vans chasing lorhx. But luckily Uncle v poweRrR.. Drive damn FAST! GO GO GO~ N we managed to be either at da baQ of 5566's van or at da SIDE most of da tym~ Onli cud see Mengzhe n Shaowei frm da baq, n xiezhi frm da side woR! Den Shaowei v cuteee~ He go lie on Mengzhe's shoulder. Wad a loving couple man! WO YE YAO~~I wanna lie on mi AH FU'S shoulder..*ArBiSh* BIE ZUO MENG LER! hahaz. CANNOT SEE MY RENFU AT ALL!!! GrRrrRR~~ But Xiezhi v niceee lehx. He got open da curtain n smile to us!! WAH SEHX~ *FAINTS* So mi ren~ Hmmms. Den in between aRhx... AHEM... betta not sae lar horx.. *FAST FORWARD* ... heeZ =) So disappointing lorhx! Dey went to mediacorp sooooo earlie (lyk arnd 3 plus) to rehearse for da NKF performance. AT first i tot dat i dun haf tix.. Den wait for dere oso quite pointless marx. Cos dey wun be cumin out anymore leR. So wanted to go home de. But i saw XIAOQIAO dey all filmin da REN WO AU YOU at da mediacorp dere.. 1st tym i see manz. Haf been wantin to see for soo long ler. But dun haf toro.. sadz..XiaoQiao V V V CHIO neHx~ Hehex. Den we juz shout her name n waveee.. =p
After dat.. erRrrs. V sad.. haish.. JIAXING ask mi to call ivy (tony's gf) to check if i got da nkf tix nort.. In case u r wondering hu is jiaxing n tony.. JIAXING is da one dat i suppose is da bEEECH dat haf been back-stabbing mi, telling every1 dat i m a spy all dis while.. wakaoz. YEA YEA !! I M A SPY! HAPPY?? Totally *CRAP* man.. okies..Sorrie, but i realli v ji dong! U noe how WEI QU i feel.. Den i called dat IVY lor. N i ask her if i got da tix. Den she sae "MEI YOU" Den i said "huh?" Den SHE said " ni gang cai you qu zui dui ma? Na jiu bu suan liao lor!" Den I saiD " huh? bu ke yi zhui arhx?" Den SHE sae" NI BU YAO GEN WO JIANG - BU KE YI ZHUI MEH. NI BEI EXPEL LIAO LOR!" N DAT BEEECH JUZ SLAMMED DOWN DA FREAKIN FONE RYT ON MI !!! ARGHHHHHHHHH~~~ At dat point of tym i realli felt lyk cryin lehx! HOW I NOE DA FREAKIN STARLAND CANNOT CHASE DE?? LAZ TYM DAT IDIOT TONY OSO GOT ASK US TO GO CHASE WIF HIM MARX. N HE IS DA CHAIRMAN SUMORE LEHX. SO ITS HIS FAULT FOR GIVING US DA WRONG IMPRESSION DAT WE CAN CHASE DE LOR! wo ren ta men hen jiu le lehx. Dey everytym meeting will accuse mi of being spy n blaHH. Make everybody tink i wad arh??! I M JUZ AN ORDINARY 14 YR OLD DAT LYKZ 5566 OK! SINCE WHEN DID I BCUM A SPY?? Everytym tony accuse mi i hafta force myself to smile at him, n tok to him nicely. U noe how much i wanna shout all my WEI QU out at him?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! SHOU BU LIAO LE LAR!! I cant stand myself for being such a coward. Y m i so scared of dat aSsSSs?? I haf every right to speak up for myself n shout at him wad. ARGH~ 4get it. NOW I HAF NTH TO DO WIF DAT JERK OR DAT MORONIC STARLAND ANYMORE!!!!! I M ANTI-STARLAND!! I m FREE to do wadeva i wan! N now i shall QI SI dat tony n ivy man~ rang ta men zhi dao wo de li hai!! lolx. SO damn P.I.S.S.E.D.. Can u all understand how i feel.. It totally sarkz lor.
So... where was I arhx? oh yar. Den mi other frenz go find tony to get baq my $20 dat i paid for da concert tee, which i haf not received by now. Dey wan cheat money de lor.. Even if dey happen to be readin dis i oso dun care le lar. I m stating FACTS k. Betta den sum ppl.. go arnd telling tales. I hate being maglined okie.. TONY YAP n IVY.. I CAN SUE U ALL FOR SLANDER DE OK. JUZ DAT I CANT BE BOTEHRED TO ONLI. COUNT URSELF LUCKY. U ALL HAF RUINED MY REPUTATION N LIFE. DUN TINK I KEEP QUIET ABT IT MEANS DAT I WILL JUZ GUAI GUAI SIT DERE LYK AN IDIOT N DO NTH HOR! I actually wanted to forget abt getting baq mi $$ de.. cos i scared.. haish, even when i saw tony at da mediacorp dere, mY whole body oso shivering lyk siao lor. PLUS he kept on walking to mi direction..Dunno wad he wanna do to mi.. He 30 plus yrs old lehx. N i m juz a defenceless 14 yr old.. Den i hafta faster run away lyk a coward. My haRt nearly dropped out of mi mouth at dat tym lorhx. U noe how scared i was.. I oso dunno y i so mei you yong larsh. HAISH. Den got a few tyms mi frenz tell mi to juz face him n not run awae. But i was still v scared. so i pretended to tok on da fone. Altogether, i toked to myself on da fone for more den 15 tymz ler lor. V ke xiao ryt? Den Tony wanted baq my membership card. I wanted to break it in front of him, but i din even haf da guts to go meet him. In da end, my frenz help mi tok tok tok. Den we all left le lorh. can tell tony was v bu shuang. Actually it's not realli tony's fault lor. it's dat chou IVY ok.. Tony everyting oso listen to her.. wahliewz.. Dunno wad he sees in ivy man.. SJ saw her b4 so i tink she shud noe wad i mean baHx. Goodness noes wad Tony n IVY will tell starland abt mi lor. but wad can i do? DEY ZUI DA MAR. i m juz a NOBODY.
Bcuz Stella n Jessica oso got chase.. den tony oso expelled dem.. wahliewz. I DUN WAN TO GET EXPELLED! Not bcuz i wan to stay in Starland..! But bcuz i wanna QUIT. Got more face marx. LOLX. haish. Now tink abt it.. feel v.. haiz.
O yar. At da mediacorp reception counter dere, we met XUE GAO LAO SHI lehx.. He look v lyk AH JIE lehx. hahaz. Den we ask to take pic wif him. lolx. den dere was dis woman, hu i suppose is his gf, was STARING at mi lorhx. PULEASE~ All i want is a PHOTO. Not ur Boyfriend..Wo zhi yao RENFU, XUEGAO jiu rang gei ni baH.. hahaRsh. Den after dat we wanted to go to da basement n had to take da lift. Den Xue gao n his gf weRe dere too. Din wan to go in da same lift as dem, cos i scared lata dey tink we despo until liddat maRx.. So i din went in lor. But my other frenz went in lehx. Den i wanted to run in but da lift was already closin. Den i walked awaE. Den suddenly da lift door SpRuNg open n dey called mi in. Den i hid my face n faster ran in lorx.. SO PAISEHX! Xuegao n his gf v DAO lehx. So cold~ 4get it. Not mi renfu can ler. =X
WAh, realli alot of tings happen. So i skip all da small small parts baH. Noe u all cant be bothered to read ler. LOLX. bear wif mi plz~ (",)
After dat, NKF start ler. N all da fans sat at da upper floor dere. Shanwei came out n we all SCREAMED~~ HE SHO SHUAI! hahaz. Shanwei's dance improve le woR. So happie~ During advertisement dat tym, we suddenly spotted dis guy hu looked v FAMILIAR.. N HE was tryin to blend in together wif da audience. N when we finally realised hu was dat, everybody went MAD lor. Esp ME! hahaz. ITS TORO!! OMG~ wasnt HE in TAIWAN? Dun tell mi he came baq to... SEE CYNDI? *HART-BROKENED*.. Toro.. ni zen me ke yi zhe yang.. wo zen be ban? hu cares abt mi after all...
Den cyndi came out n we SCREAMED too. She chao cuteee de. Realised she seem v short when she stood in da middle of da 2 hosts. hehex. But nvm.. she still rawKxXxx..
During advertisement dat tym, i got to noe abt dis damn SHOCKING news. AH JIE N MENG RU IS EXPELLED OUT OF R&B!! when i heard da news, Da tears dat i haf been tryin to hold baQ all dis while juz streamed down mi face lor.. Realli cant help it anymore... I V SAD!! HOW CAN LIDDAT DE?? Even though i seldom mention AJ & MENGRU but i oso VERY lyk dem de.. Esp AJ. Cos got hugX him b4 marx. -PaIsEhx lo- =XxX
Throughout da whole NKF i kept on crying wif sum other R&B fans. I WANNA KANG YI! HOW CAN DEY KICK OUT AJ N MENGRU?! BLARDIE SUN DE RONG! I HATE U!!! If HE dare do anyting to mY DARZ 5566, I m gonna burn down his whole hse man!! @#$@$%#%# I realli v angry lor! Haish. Dun wanna tink abt it liao lar..
Den da moment dat i haf been waiting for so long has finally came! 5566 appeared!! SO HIGH MAN~ every1 stood up, n we all kenna scolded by alot of audience. Dey keep on askin us to sit down n shuddup lor. so baddY!
At dat tym, i over-high ler. so managed to stop cryin. Muz jian qiang!! OMG~ RENFU CHAO SHUAI!! XIEZHI & MENGZHE OSO! AHHHH 5566~~ Dey dance [EZ cum EZ Go] V MAN! I screamed lyk siao. REALLI. alot of ppl were staring at mi loR. but dat cant stop mi. Den when 5566 sing [shou hou] dat tym,I started to feel lyk cryin again. V sad~ Dat song realli v touching man.. Esp when RENFU sang da line " Bu Shu Yu Wo, Wo Bu Hui Nan Guo.." Very suit mi.. RENFU WAVED TO MI ALOT OF TYMZ LEHZ!! XIEZHI, MENGZHE N SHAOWEI OSO!! Yayy~~ Piangx.. their new song v v v nice lehx! But i was too bz screamin ler. so cant realli remember da song tune. oopz. SO happie singapore is juz lyk da 2nd home of 5566. Actually my hart shud be renfu's 2nd home baH~ -___-"
After da whole ting ended, all da performers stayed baq for prize presentation. When is 5566 n shanwei's turn, da whole mediacorp was lyk dominated wif piercing sreamz of all da mad fans. But mine stands out da most. SO SHARP lor. Even i oso goin to be deafed of mi own SCrEaM... hehhxx. I scream until PUO YING sia. My head was lyk so pain n my throat went all soaR~ 5566 n Shanwei oso got help da NKF patients sign their autograpgh. no fair.. i oso wan.. But i noe dat i m v xing fu to be healthy n i oso noe dat i shud be happie wif wad i m now. yepps. heeX. After dat, JAMIE YEO cum take pic wif 5566.. wondered how xiezhi felt at dat tym. hahaz. After taking photo, SHE still go da shan wif XIEZHI. I was dere madly screamin out of jealousy. hahaz.
I M A JEALOUS CRY-BABY PIGGY~~ lolx. suits mi quite well huhs? -NOT AT ALL-
Den we went to da radio-gate to wait for 5566 n shanwei's van to cum out. wait for v long! Den we saw WENG QING HAI, WANG JIE FU n.. eRrs..(i forgot hu ler) drivin out. Dey muz be tinkin dat we r waiting for dem baH. Let deM enjoy a moment of fame baHx..lolx. 5566's van finally came out juz when we were abt to leave. I suddenly saw xiezhi's face on a van n SCREAMED! HAO SHUAI~~ Den every1 came runnin.. Xiezhi was smiling n waving to mi. SO CUTEE. But i still wan my RENFU.
I took a cab n flew home cos it was almoZ 12 ler. hehex. kenna scolded lyk siao. But it's all worth it. I noe i v siao. But.. i m wu yao ke jiu leR. Too deeply in luv wif mi renfu n 5566 ler.. ^_^
Todae actually wanted to go SONG JI for RENFU de. But he took da morning flight, *as usual*, n i noe he wun lyk it if i skipped skool to go see him off. So i went to skool in a sooper horrible mood. Shanwei left at 8 plus n da rest of 5566 left at 1. o man.. wad GREAT timing dey chose sia.. But it may be a good ting dat i din see dem off.. cos surely cry at da airport de. hao she bu de ta men oh.. PLUS, dey wuD be cumin baq in less den a mth neHx.. Muz start workin on Renfu's bdae prezzie ler. o man.. dis entry is sho0o SHORT. Sorrie guyz. heeX. Typical zhilin lar. alwaez haf lotsa stuff to sae abt her INTERESTING life marX. LOL... okies, Gif ur eyes a break ler. byeeee. - miss renfu n 5566-

sooper sad

2004-07-10T18:15:00.000+08:00

Y muz i alwaez fall in luV wif sumone hu already lykz another person de.. Hao ku ming oh.. I've been hurt before n dun wan to be hurt again. ANYMORE. Haven i cried enuf for dose ppl dat i haf luved wrongly? Y do dis to mi??? I've already tried my best to ignore u. but i juz cant. i forced myself not to tok to u on msn. But, turned out to be juz another failure attempt. y muz da wurld be so unfair? u dun even noe how i feel for u. N i shall neva let u noe. To prevent myself frm getting hurt deeper. I m sad. I dunno wad to do. Stoopid mi is juz so ill-fated n destinied to neva find love. Fine. I shall accept mY hoRrible fate n disappear frm dis unfaiR wurld. Goodbye............... I wish i cud. But NO. I m still HERE. Stuck in dis spastiKK wurLd. Haish. Lemme die. Y bring mi to dis wurld n face all dis sadness n torture? -sobz- Mi wurld is darK n dYing... Take Mi aWae frM dIs wuRld...

OH MY GOD!!

2004-07-10T17:32:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD!! I realli cry ler. my fren juZ sms mi sae 5566 cum todae ler!! still cum n scold mi sae y neva tell her.. o man.. i tot is tml marx. but datz not da main point!! how can it be.. 5566 realli cum todae mehx?!? I TOT IS TML.. dun scare mi lehx.. oh my god!! RENFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my gawd. not in da condition to blog now. feeL lyk jumping off da freaking building~! wad has da wurld cum to.. R u kiddin?? dis sarkz man. GOD~~ NONONO!! i surely will get to see renfu de, rite?! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHEET LAR. mi onli hope! i cant go for da stoopid nkf ting ler n da airport is mi onli hope!! How cud i haf missed it?~~ dis is absolutely impossible!! i dun believe dis is happening man. oh no. wait. i go clarify first. dis betta not be real.

Wo-bu-nan-guo ='(

SYLL

bendan

sad

sianZz~

='(

MY BLOG IS BACK!

yida shuai

Sorrie ar..

bendan.. ='(

Dun wanna part..

Head pain..

OH MY GOD!!

Nan gu0...

Miss *him*

Wan Quan Yu Le..

xiang ni

hate you..

cut hair le..

sick...argh..

Ai ni..Yida..

I suck

so mani tings

Love fengqi...

terribly down

Nono. Not him

Him again...

Block me plz..

SkooL Com Lab~

CoLoUrFuL...

Escape...lol..

Shoo touching ='(

belated celeb..

HorrendaZ...

Happie B'dae~

B e n D a n..

Fengqi...

fengqi

Da gurL in da mirror

Farnie...

sigh

he tricked mi

sianz..

feel betta

airport

Fireworkz Concert

late

quiz

renfu 5566

xiezhi KISS qiaoen

national dae

saDz... ='(

oh my god

dance rehearsel

jay album

haish

oh my god

nth much

yesterdae yi ge ren sheng huo

ben dan

arghz

Qian jing bai fen bai

sarkz yan jiang bi sai..

ahhhhhhh

so much to sae

S.W.T

arghx

concert.. esplanade..

yida!!!

hermx

missing u...

renfu lao gong

mi n fengqi..

Renfu hoNey..

wanna die ler lar

happie

] 0 3 1

sarkz

walaoz

sick

Miss him